[orange]

I recently changed my phone number and made it unlisted because there was a guy pestering and almost stalking me, and the police recommended I change it, among other things. I've given my new number to a few select individuals, and told them that under no circumstances are they to give the number out to ANYONE, without my express permission. Anyway, so this morning someone calls who was NOT given the number! They told me who they got the number from, and I called the person, annoyed. This person said that they had tried for a couple of days to get a hold of me to ask if they could give out the number, but couldn't reach me. So they just gave it out anyway... I was angry about this, but they acted like I shouldn't be, because the person who got the number is harmless and just wanted to know how I was doing.

Anyway, my question is, was it wrong for them to give out the number? I think it WAS wrong, because I didn't give permission, but they say I am making too big of a deal out of it.

[nwsflash]

Your mobile number is your personal number and from what you have posted it sounds like you have been having a bad time lateley and I'm sorry to hear this.

You can be as mad as you want at this person because they are in the wrong for giving your number out if you requested them not too do this when you gave them your new number... If this is a friend of yours then I'm sorry because they have broken your trust by doing this, yes it looks like they have done this with no intention of making problems for you, but on the other hand what would have happened if they gave your number to the person that you had the problems with, or this other person did.

It may not be worth the loss of your friendship over this but I would get it off my chest so that they knew just how p****d I was at them.

[CaptainForest]

A no-mannered friend.

Your friend who gave out the number, had NO BUSINESS to do so. I mean, she knew why you changed your phone number. And so what she couldn’t get a hold of you?

She should have left a message on your answering machine and told you that Person X wanted your new number so please call him at XXX-XXXX and give it to him.

But she should have respected you and your situation and not given out your number.

She is being insensitive to your feelings and situation by thinking its not a big deal. Normally it is not, but in this case, you specifically told her not to.

[fredg]

Hi,
I also have an unlisted phone number; have had for many, many years.
One of the problems is that when you first get it, others will give it out, not realizing what they are doing!
I sorry to hear that someone has already done this to you.
You can either change your phone number again, and don't give it to anyone, or; keep your number, and hope no one else tells anyone what it is.
No, it's not you. It's them! They should not have given out your phone number; unless it was an emergency, like a death!
Happy New Year!

[bizygurl]

I think that this person was defenitly in the wrong and had no right to do what they did. Did the friend no about the situation you were in previously. Even if they didn't that still doesn't give them the right to do that. They could have e-mailed you! Anyway sorry to hear about that. But people fail to realize that a unlisted number is unlistedfor a reason.

[JoeCanada76]

I agree, it was wrong for them to give out your number, when you specifically asked for it not to be. Now you know that you can not really trust that person.

[orange]

Thanks everyone... I'm glad you agree! Yes this person knew my reason for having an unlisted number... their argument is basically that the person they gave it to is "trustworthy". Grrrr. I feel like sending them my phone bill, haha. Seriously though it cost me almost 40 dollars to change the number.

A bit of a consolation for me though... the phone company said that rather than change the number again (which I had thought of) I can block 12 numbers for 2 bucks a month. So I think I'm going to do that.

And by the way I don't think I mentioned this, but this is a second phone line... my fiancé and I share another phone line, which will likely be the main phone number once we are married, and it's not unlisted. That creep who's been bothering me knew not to call our joint line because Alex is there. But other people can always get a hold of me at that number. So there's NO excuse for giving out my private number at all!

Anyway thanks so much... I'm glad I'm not overreacting.

[bizygurl]

No not at all, I don't think your over reacting, not in the least. It really peeves out when people take things upoun themselves and do whatever they want. It doesn't matter if this other person was so-called "trustworthy" your friend should have asked you first. What are people thinking sometimes?

[nwsflash]

Looks like everyone agree's that your friend should not have been giving out your unlisted number... At least you can bar numbers if you need too, but its ashame that its going to cost you $$$ if you need to.

I still think that it may not be worth losen your friendship over this, but hey its going to leave a massive trust issue between you and them.

[orange]

I still think that it may not be worth losen your friendship over this, but hey its going to leave a massive trust issue between you and them.

Actually the person who gave out my number was not strictly speaking a friend, but rather my "supervisor" at an organization I volunteer for. The volunteer work consists of accompanying a suicidal individual to the ER and staying with them, as a support, until they can be seen by a doctor. Because this work is of an emergency nature, I gave her the number so she could contact me quickly if I was needed. However, the person she gave the number to did NOT need me for the hospital and was unrelated to the organization. So it was totally uncalled for.

So that makes it even worse, since she's supposed to be at least somewhat "professional".

[nwsflash]

You always have the option then that you can report this person for passing out your details without consent from you to do so.

[orange]

Yes I'm considering doing that... after all she still thinks I'm making a big deal out of it, which makes me think she might give it out again!

[nwsflash]

Yes I'm considering doing that... afterall she still thinks I'm making a big deal out of it, which makes me think she might give it out again!

You need to stop her before she does start giving your number out.. It would not be pleasen't if she gave you number to someone that you had been helping at the hospital, as I take it you don't use your own phone for this. She must be very stubern if she can't tell that its wrong to pass people details on with out asking... Hell if I did this at work my *** would be out of the door before you could blink :rolleyes:

[manutd4eva]

Lol

It is annoying though I've had 3 new mobile numbers since the beginning of 2005 but you should make it cyrstal clear your number should not be given out.

Hope she listens!

[orange]

Errr... weird... I didn't realize you guys had responded to my thread again... my profile (where I look for new postings), isn't showing them..?

She must be very stubern if she can't tell that its wrong to pass people details on with out asking... Hell if I did this at work my *** would be out of the door before you could blink

Well she's old LOL. Like 70 years old. So apparently she one of those older people who's stuck in the past and doesn't get modern society... and there is no one to reprimand her because she is the past president of the organization and its most senior member. Anyway I did tell her yesterday that she was not to give out my phone number anymore, and that if she did, she would lose me as a volunteer. THAT she responded to, the losing volunteer part, haha. They are short on volunteers and use me a lot. She even apologized. But if she does it again, I WILL quit. There is another similar group in the city, and I will go to them... I told her that too... when all else fails, make threats! :p

[CaptainForest]

The volunteer work consists of accompanying a suicidal individual to the ER and staying with them, as a support, until they can be seen by a doctor.

That seems like a very good cause. How do you find these individuals though? Would they not try to commit suicide in private first? Nevertheless, it is good, helping them.

There is another similar group in the city, and I will go to them... I told her that too... when all else fails, make threats!! :p

Sad, but true. People sometimes don't listen to reasoning or logic, but for some reason, they respond to threats.

[orange]

That seems like a very good cause. How do you find these individuals though? Would they not try to commit suicide in private first? Nevertheless, it is good, helping them.

These are people who call the 24 crisis / suicide line in my city. Mobile crisis offers them a free cab to the hospital if they want it, and they also ask if they want a support person to meet them there. If they say yes, the crisis line then phones the organization I volunteer with, and they in turn phone me or another volunteer. We also get requests from orgnizations who have chronically mentally ill clients and want someone to take them to the hospital. I get asked for specially when the clients are chronic, because both my biological parents had schizophrenia and so I'm used to people in a psychotic state... I know how to talk to them and I'm not scared of them, etc.

The main reason for having someone accompany any person is that the wait times to see a psychiatrist through emergency are incredibly long!! The shortest I waited with someone was 4 hours, and I considered that lucky! The average is over 6 hours, and I've waited with someone as long as 13 hours.

[s_cianci]

This person had no right whatsoever giving out your phone number. You made it quite clear that no one was to give out your phone number without your permission. You are not making too big a deal out of it. Stick to your guns. Your acquaintances will eventually get the message that your phone number gets given to nobody without your permission.

[orange]

Thanks for backing me up on this... I feel a lot better with everyone's responses! :)

[nwsflash]

I think after you told her you will pack it in then she will probley never do it again... Sometimes we just have to be a little blunt to get our point over!