[another housewife]

Why am I so horrible?
I love my hubbie, I really do, so why do I fear my marriage is doomed? I snap at the silliest things, I never treat him the way I expect him to treat me.
He told me months ago that he had brought a ticket toady for a footie game. I was annoyed that it was on the 1st when we should have been spending it as a family but I bit my tongue and said ' that's nice have fun'.
Then to be honest I forgot about it.
This morning he jumps out of bed saying he's going to be late for the game.
We had a huge row.
Here's a few facts.
He has given his life over to uni( which I get)
He studies every night and day, every break he gets he is in the books. And its paying off. He may have a seasonal job at one of the top 4 companies in the uk... which puts him in good stead in the future. He got a first in his first year, basically he's doing great.

I never see him.

I had plans too, until I got pregnant. I wanted to start uni in feb '07.
I have given up work and any social life I had. I am now mum.

All I want is a little consideration.
I gave up my xmas and new yr to help him study... every evening he leaves me alone so he can study.
He has never once given me the day off from our little one to go out. He has never had him by himself, not even once.

I have told him all this so many times but nothing ever changes...

What can I do to show him how unhappy I am?

I feel like walking away

[shygrneyzs]

Where is your circle of friends at? Is there anything prohibiting you from meeting other people your age (or thereabouts)? If you are new Mum, are there support groups for new Mums in your area? If your husband will not take care of your baby for you to get out once in awhile, why can't there be a person coming in for a few hrs so you can get out?

You do not need to be sacrificing your life here for your husband's advancement. Why can't you go back to work, even if only part-time?

You say you have tried to talk to him and he is not responding. Have you ever thought of going to your minister and talking to that person about your feelings? Some of what you are going through sounds like post partum depression. Add a husband who is not living up to his reponsibilities to his family and you feel like it all falls on you. Talk to your doctor too. Explain what is going on and how it all makes you feel.

Don't let this all defeat you. Good luck to you.

[George_1950]

There's no comfort in this old saying but I once heard a professor say, "The law is a jealous mistress." It's wonderful he's having such a grand time, and terrible that you are not. So you need "coping strategies".

Something funny: Do you get "According To Jim" on the TV? It is a sitcom, about seven years old. I just started watching it a couple of weeks ago. It is about a husband, 'Jim', and his wife, 'Cheryl'. They are very much in love and dealing with male/female issues; it gives me a good laugh. It is supposed to be released on DVD this January.

Have you read that book, by John Gray(?), "Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus?" I hope you have time for some reading; and Google relationships and read, read, read. And, you are at a good place for advice. Just don't get offended by those who will tell you to snap out of it, or it's your own fault.

[wayne0418]

Kiss your baby and walk around the block. (if he or she is not to young) Meny men get traped in the fealing that buy working more hours making more money is how they show there love to there family. Some men can grow beond this point a few can't. I agree with shygrneyzs.
Remember you are smart!
You are beautiful!
You are loved!!

[donf]

Dear Housewife,

I haven't the foggiest idea why you are so horrible. Perhaps if you tell why you believe you are horrible, I could assist you.

First, do you want to be convinced you are actually horrible or second would you rather know that you are worthwhile for no other reason than you are here on this planet just like the rest of us.

Please, skip the usage of slang. I'm a poor city boy from the Bronx, New York and I can barely read and write English from the USA.

Please have pity on me?