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lynn17976 · Dec 31, 2007, 03:55 PM

I have a friend who is pregnant. She can't take care of the baby and she wants me to take her. I want to but we are not sure about the laws and how to go about it. Neither one of us has a lot of money and we don't know what to do. We live in pa.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 31, 2007, 04:01 PM

As long as the mother and the father of the child will sign over their rights,
It will take an attorney and filing for the adoption in court.a

RichardBondMan · Dec 31, 2007, 04:01 PM

You and her (and probably the baby too) need an attorney.

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2007, 04:29 PM

You MAY be able to do this without an attorney. Check with your local Family court. However, I would highly advise that you get an attorney. You will need to make sure none of the baby's biological family can make a claim on the baby now or at some future date.

J_9 · Dec 31, 2007, 04:43 PM

I would highly advise you think about this seriously. She is your friend, if you do go through with the adoption she may still feel that she has a say so in the upbringing of the child. While I am all for open adoptions, these things can ruin a friendship.

You see, if you adopt the baby, your friend may not be happy with the way you raise the child, or discipline the child.

If you don't have a lot of money, not enough to hire an adoption attorney, will you have enough money, and health insurance, to raise a baby appropriately.

shygrneyzs · Dec 31, 2007, 04:49 PM

I would never do this, for the reasons J has stated. Your friend has an open door to you and even if this adoption does go through, it can be a messy deal. The baby will have two "mom's" right there and what guarantee do you have that the birth mom will not come back at you and want that child back?

Michelle Miller · Jan 1, 2008, 10:43 AM

Hi,

Sorry about what your friend is going through. I just wanted to let you know I left you a private message. Just in case you haven't seen it. I hope to hear from you.

Love,
Michelle

wayne0418 · Jan 1, 2008, 10:48 AM

I wish you the best of luck in this.

Michelle Miller · Jan 1, 2008, 12:02 PM

Okay,

My husband an I were suppose to adopt a baby at the end of October. The birth mom changed her mind. So we went through the whole private adoption thing up to the day the baby was suppose to be in our hands. So I can tell you what you need to do. I can also give you an idea about the costs. You have to have an adoption attorney. If the birth mother lives in another state you will have to get her an adoption lawyer to. If the two of you live in the same state you might be able to get away with one attorney. I am not really sure. You would have to ask your lawyer about that. Anyone who adopts with in the United States has to have a home study done. This is where they check out your home and decide if they think it is appropriate. They do a back ground criminal check. You have to be checked out by the doctor and make sure you are healthy. They even performed an aids test and checked to see if I have arthritis. You have to have updated shot records on any animals you have. If you have children you will have to get a paper filled out stating they are healthy and well taken care of and that they are up to date on shots. You will have to have at least 3 letters of recommendations from friends stating that they think you would make a good mother. The people that do the recommendations can not be related to you. They will also want to know how much money you make. You will have to provide them with a copy of all last years tax records. If you are married your husband will have to have a criminal background check and a doctors check to. I am not trying to scare you. You wanted to know what it entails so I thought I would tell you so you are not surprised. This part of the adoption process is very tedious. It is the hardest part. Homestudies usually cost between 1,200 and 1,50O. I live in Georgia and our adoption lawyer told us that she was going to charge us 6,000 dollars for the adoption. We had to give her 1,500 up front to retain her as our lawyer. We were also going to ow a lawyer in another state but, we didn't know how much yet I do believe he said 2,000 to 3,000. Where I live I would have to say a private adoption would probably run close to 10,000 dollars. I have a friend that lives in New York that is trying to adopt. She said the lawyer prices there are really high. I think GA's legal fees are on the low side. The only way to know for you how much it will cost exactly is to call an adoption lawyer and ask what the total price of adoption would be in your state. Also let her know whether the bm lives in your state or not. That might help some.

I agree with you're the girls above. You should really think it through this is one of those things that has the potential to tear apart a friendship. My aunt adopted my uncles little girl when she was a baby. They had a falling out and have not spoke for almost 30 years. I wish you two the best of luck.

Love,
MIchelle