[darkamenity]

Quite the dilemma you would say.
I'm actually not feeling anything morrally wrong about it, but that's wrong.
I would like to say that I'm confused about my actions and how this all happened.

Over the summer my xbf went away for the summer for 2months.
As for the Long Distance Relationship - that didn't wor out too well either.
In fact, we were on a break for 3 days before I realized that I wanted to be with him.
Days passed and I decided to move on since he was in another country with other things on his mind.
I know he's loyal beyon any other man I know, but the fact there was hardly any communcation beweend us, I gave up.
In the midst of all that, I get ONE call from him, and despite my excitement hearing from him, it never occurred to me that I moved on.
At that, I had met my current boyfriend who I've been going out with fr now 4 months, but 3months in a LDR (Long dstance relationship) -And that neither went successful.
I had then also been seeing my ex.
There was no way in hell I couldn't go a day without thinking about how our connection was always so explosive, compared to any other relationship I had been in, but that's no excuse for insincerity.
He's still a virgin, and waits till marriage, which completely respectful in my eyes about any guy I've come across.
The big dilemma is, is that my trophy boyfriend who is current abroad studying at uni, is quite the catch, great in bed, extremely good-looking and a simply positive attitude. Approved by everyone, and wants to get engaged to me.
My xbf knows that I am in this 'relationship' with my current boyfriend, and same thing, communication is hardly there.
In a situation like this, I only want what's best.
I'm think of getting rid of both of them, but it's such a costly loss as well.
Their qualities speaks for which the other doesn't, the outcome be life-changing for me.

It's hard to analyse something from the inside.

Can someone please shed some light here for me?

Truly,
darkamenity

[harlysdream66]

You need help , surly you can see that ?
Your lost
And you need to find your way home
Your not cheatin your lonely

You could be doing more damage to yourself , with these actions

Time to get a plan, find the right guy for you, and stop playing head game,even with your self:)

[George_1950]

I'm having problems from the outside; read through this twice and can't tell how many boyfriends, two or three? And one is a virgin ("He's still a virgin, and waits till mariage, which completely respectful in my eyes about any guy I've come across.")? Which one is that? And you want to get rid of both of them? Check this: Should I dump my Boyfriend?

[Homegirl 50]

You're cheating with your ex on your current boyfriend?
I'd have a problem with a man who does not mind sharing me with another or has no problem with the cheating thing.
Then you are cheating on the current guy. If you really care for him, why are you cheating?
I say leave them both! You are not being fair to your current boyfriend and I don't understand the ex. Doesn't sound like he cares one way or the other.

[darkamenity]

You're cheating with your ex on your current bf?
I'd have a problem with a man who does not mind sharing me with another or has no problem with the cheating thing.
Then you are cheating on the current guy. If you really care for him, why are you cheating?
I say leave them both! You are not being fair to your current bf and I don't understand the ex. Doesn't sound like he cares one way or the other.

You're right I need help - no one is.
So techinically this site and your advice is no help what so ever.

[darkamenity]

you need help , surly you can see that ?
your lost
and you need to find your way home
your not cheatin your lonely

you could be doign more damage to your self , with these actions

time to get a plan, find the right guy for you, and stop playing head game,even with your self:)

None of that was any help. What a waste.

[darkamenity]

I'm having problems from the outside; read through this twice and can't tell how many boyfriends, two or three? And one is a virgin ("He's still a virgin, and waits till mariage, which completely respectful in my eyes about any guy I've come across.")? Which one is that? And you want to get rid of both of them? Check this: Should I dump my Boyfriend?

There are two thanks you very much
My ex
And my current boyfriend.

Thanks for your great advice.

[Homegirl 50]

You're right I need help - no one is.
So technically this site and your advice is no help what so ever.

I'm not understanding. No help, or not what you want to hear? You asked for advice, I advise you to leave them both. You're not being truthful with one and the other does not seem to care one way or the other about you.
As for why you're doing it: because you've gotten away with it once with the ex and your able to do it again. You're obviously not happy with either one.

[ISneezeFunny]

I disagree with the idea that she should "get rid of both". She's currently happy with both...

My suggestion is.. sit down. Think about it. Which one do you actually like? You said that you're meeting up with your ex. Why are you meeting with him again? You guys broke up because there was no communication. So what actually exists between the two of you? You said there was no sex involved, so I'm wondering why you're still attached to this guy.

The new guy sounds wonderful. But simply because he's away, you're messing around now.

This is an issue of being lonely + wanting attention, which isn't a "bad" thing, but without some kind of a hold on it, can ruin many relationships. I suggest coming clean to your current boyfriend. Really. Come clean. Tell him what's going on. Two things can happen:

1. he will be upset. He will end it. He will move on... you will either move on or get back with your ex and eventually be unhappy again, and start the cycle anew.

2. he will forgive you. Accept you back. This will be rare, but IF this happens, you cut ALL contact from your ex. I mean, everything. No talking, no "catching up," no calling, msging, nothing. You owe it to yourself + your current boyfriend.

If you're unsure about either guy, then as others have said, end both. Try to be alone for a little bit, and see how it is to be single and look at it from the "outside"

[darkamenity]

I disagree with the idea that she should "get rid of both". she's currently happy with both...

my suggestion is..sit down. think about it. which one do you actually like? you said that you're meeting up with your ex. why are you meeting with him again? you guys broke up because there was no communication. so what actually exists between the two of you? you said there was no sex involved, so i'm wondering why you're still attached to this guy.

the new guy sounds wonderful. but simply because he's away, you're messing around now.

this is an issue of being lonely + wanting attention, which isn't a "bad" thing, but without some kind of a hold on it, can ruin many relationships. i suggest coming clean to your current boyfriend. really. come clean. tell him what's going on. two things can happen:

1. he will be upset. he will end it. he will move on...you will either move on or get back with your ex and eventually be unhappy again, and start the cycle anew.

2. he will forgive you. accept you back. this will be rare, but IF this happens, you cut ALL contact from your ex. i mean, everything. no talking, no "catching up," no calling, msging, nothing. you owe it to yourself + your current boyfriend.

if you're unsure about either guy, then as others have said, end both. try to be alone for a little bit, and see how it is to be single and look at it from the "outside"

Thank you for your advice.
Trust me, it's been on my mind for quite awhile.

I am indeed a very lonely person. Anyone can be, but for me it's been quite a while despite the fact I'm constantly out with friends and living with my family.

There's a lot to say about how anyone with my pyche would be in this sort of situation.
It's actually quite sad, I've had professional help, but it's been no use.

I wish I could just be normal.

I'm actually one for 'thinking too deeply' instead of seeing things as they are.
If I knew someone like myself, I'd say all the things people have said about the situation. Get rid of both, see how things really turn out.

I fear it's just going to make things even worse.

It's that bad, I'm on this site one New Years Eve checking for replies.

The effort and energy to put things into place is such a killer.

I'll get through somehow. Thank you again for your response. Have a good one!

[darkamenity]

I'm not understanding. No help, or not what you want to hear? You asked for advice, I advise you to leave them both. You're not being truthful with one and the other does not seem to care one way or the other about you.
As for why you're doing it: because you've gotten away with it once with the ex and your able to do it again. You're obviously not happy with either one.

What is truth when you live a lie?
I study psychology, and yes it does relate to my own parents. They neither have a hapy relationship ever since I was around.
So what can I say.
I'm just not happy.
Either way, thank you for responding.
Have a good New Years!

[talaniman]

I think your ignoring the obvious, in that you go from man to man trying to be happy and it ain't working. Leave them both alone, and learn to happy with yourself, by yourself, and then some one will want to share it with you.

[darkamenity]

I think your ignoring the obvious, in that you go from man to man trying to be happy and it ain't working. Leave them both alone, and learn to happy with yourself, by yourself, and then some one will want to share it with you.

Yes, thanks for the advice.
I just needed reassurance from friends and well, I figured 2008, clean slate.
I've stopped seeing my ex, and I'm going to come clean with my boyfriend.

You're right, I can only find happiness in myself.
Apparently it's called Personal Sovereignty.

Again, much gratitude.

Have a great new year!

[Jay_Tee]

Get straight to the point; who du actually like more and enjoying spending time around with? Hence the distance between the two.

[BMI]

Don't you find it facscinating that the only response darkamenity replied to in a polite manner was the one that suggested she think about both rather than lose them both?

Homegirl and the rest say drop both, and you get defensive. Sneezefunny says hold off on dropping both and behold a conversation... Homegirl nailed it, you are only here for what you want to hear.

[BMI]

DAMNATION!

My response was for last page, didn't read pg 2 (oops). Still, would apply, though better if it was more timely, sorry:)

[darkamenity]

Don't you find it facscinating that the only response darkamenity replied to in a polite manner was the one that suggested she think about both rather than lose them both?

Homegirl and the rest say drop both, and you get defensive. Sneezefunny says hold off on dropping both and behold a conversation......Homegirl nailed it, you are only here for what you wanna hear.

You're right.
I'm dropping both of them.

[darkamenity]

DAMNATION!

My response was for last page, didn't read pg 2 (oops). Still, would apply, though better if it was more timely, sorry:)

It's only human to make mistakes.
No need to be sorry, you're not hurting anyone.
Lucky for you.