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miss lynn · Dec 29, 2007, 12:24 PM

I found my husband in bed naked with another woman, We got married in 2007 and been together for 16 years have two children and just built a new home in 2006 and had him removed from the house by police because he wreaked my christmas tree and took all the xmas presents for the kids. So what are my options? I really don't want to lose my house.

nicespringgirl · Dec 29, 2007, 12:56 PM

He is a DIRTY SANTA! Took all the presents from the kids?

How do you know that you will lose the house? You might be the one gets it.

donf · Dec 30, 2007, 09:45 AM

If your only worry is the loss of the house, something is wrong.

What about the little ankle biters, rug rats, children? Why aren't they your first concern?

Please, see a divorce attorney if your intent is to divorce your husband. He certainly seemed to go out of his way to earn it.

Talk to your children and see how they would feel about it and explain what your husband did to force you into considering divorce. Make sure they understand that it is in no way their fault.

When your attorney files, he will list one of the demands as possession of the house and house payments until the mortgage is paid or your remarry. Child support, ask for support through the school years including College if any of the children decide to go to College.

Good luck with the rest of your life.

George_1950 · Dec 30, 2007, 01:31 PM

Laws concerning domestic relations differ from state to state so you will be following the law of your state residence. You need a good family lawyer to advise you of your rights. Of course, be ready for this snake to reappear in your life.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 30, 2007, 01:42 PM

First remember while he was as bad as bad can be, taking christmas gifts from kids, he is still 1/2 owner of the house if you are both on the deed.

So what you do now is hire the best attorney you can, you will have to file for divorce, and a property division. You also ( if the children are minors) file for full custody of the children and also child support from him. Now most likely he will get visitation with the children, and will most likely fight for various things in the divorce.

tamieko2 · Jan 27, 2008, 09:38 AM

You first need to find out if you are in a community property state, if so, whether your name is on the deed or not does not matter you get half anyway and if you have kids he cannot legally kick you out so don't worry, anyway, in all 50 states adultry is illegal not enforced so much, but illegal none the less, he is screwed regardless. However if you don't have a job to pay the mortgage you better get one now because I'd hate for the bank to forclose on you for failure to pay. Omg, I cannot believe the nerve of this man to do this in your home?? If I were you I would've done sooo much worse to him, the police would've been hauling me away. Good luck to you my friend.

s_cianci · Jan 27, 2008, 09:41 AM

If you don't want to lose your house then you'll have to keep paying the mortgage. If you end up filing for divorce then you can ask that the house be given to you and his name taken off the deed. You'll no doubt have to make some other financial concessions in return, in the interest of buying out his interest in the house.

slash1 · Jan 30, 2008, 02:32 AM

Lets think about this after being together for so long and then got married, sometimes women change not to be sexist, in most cases men don't cange unless pushed. I think having him removed was the wrong thing. You should have talked about it and found out why he did what he did. Remember it takes 2 people to cause most problems in a marriage. And marriage is forever through thick and thin, remember for better or for worse till death do you part, and besides you owe it to your kids to stay married to give them the best chance at life!!

tamieko2 · Jan 30, 2008, 06:17 AM

You must be out of your mind! Even in the bible it gives adultry as grounds for divorce. He obviously cares nothing about her or the kids to have done this in there own house in their sacred marriage bed so why should she even thing twice about him at all? She is thinking about the kids when she threw him out, her kids deserve to be in a happy home not one where they resent each other. Some marriages can take this kind of crap but in her case she should not ,he had no regard for his family at all least of all the children. And how many marriages do you know that actually survive just because of the kids?

Marriedguy · Jan 30, 2008, 06:45 AM

slash1 I can't side with you on this one. The is no excuse or justification for cheating on your spouse. If you are unhappy in the relationship you decide to work it out or divorce. As far as trying to salvage this marriage of the sake of the children that is not a reality. The family unit does not work when the love is not there. Clearly, when a person cheats on their spouse the love is not there. I agree with tamieko2, children learn what relationship are about from there parents subjecting children to a bad marriage is harmful.

lacuran8626 · Jan 30, 2008, 01:55 PM

File for divorce. MAke sure you get primary physical custody of the kids. My understanding is that in a lot of situations, the parent who keeps the kids often keeps the house as well. The thing is, if he's on the mortgage it might not be worth it to stay entangled with him financially. Even if you are awarded the house in the divorce, the mortgage company will not take him off the mortgage.

If he's not going to be a pain in the neck, perhaps he'll agree, or the court may order, that you can keep the house until your kids are grown, at which time you would sell it and pay off his share.

You need a lawyer.

Sorry for what he's putting you through, but I think he's got to go. Life's too short for that kind of crap!