Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    fairytaleshavehappyending's Avatar
    fairytaleshavehappyending Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 28, 2007, 09:07 PM
    Teen Pregency.
    Help!!
    I have this friend and we've been friends since the 2nd grade(were in the 11th grade now) and I haven't really got to talk to her at all because my boyfriend doesn't like her because she sleeps around and he's afriad that I'll cheat on him when I'm w/ her. Recently I found out that she is pregent and I'm worried a/b her and I really want to be there for her. I miss hanging out with her and every time I mention it to my b/f a/b NEVER getting to hang out w/ her he gets mad. BUT he gets to hang out w/ whoever he wants to and talks to whoever he wants to, but I don't. We have been together for over 2 yrs now and I really need some advice on how to handel this. PLEASE!! I'll appericate ANY advice that is given. Thanks a bundle.
    EM
    wayne0418's Avatar
    wayne0418 Posts: 51, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 28, 2007, 09:32 PM
    You have 2 questions hear.
    Your b\f controlling you and your friends pregnency.

    You are beautiful, you are smart, you are loved! Dump the b\f. focus on good grades , getting into colleg and saving money.

    For your friend I am very sorry to hear of her perdicument. She needs to to let her parents know get on with pre natels and docter visits and know she is smart, she is beautiful, and she is loved and to leave the boys alone and focus on her and the babie. When I was in school a young girl transferd in to get away from all the guys she had slept with. She had a little boy. She busted her but and after 2 years of work, taking car of the baby and school she got into school. She wanted to become a pathologist. She was sucsesful. You and your friend bowth can be as well.

    You are young . Most boys don't become men till 30. Dump the chump! Better to lous a 2 year relationship then a meaning full life. Wait on us goffy gies till your older.
    No that love is an action that dosnot originat in the hip or end there!
    Love is in the actions and word that he holds you buy. Does he show you that you are smart. Does he show you you are beautiful, A man will want you to know and the world how grate you are. If not!!

    Know you are loved!
    stonewilder's Avatar
    stonewilder Posts: 420, Reputation: 99
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Dec 28, 2007, 09:44 PM
    In most cases boy friends comes and goes, friends can last a life time... if you're there to be a friend. You have to decide if a guy of two years is more important than a friend you've known most of your life.
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,099, Reputation: 236
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Dec 29, 2007, 08:29 AM
    Your bf/gf relationship lacks mutuality and is unfair. Your concern for your friend is a wonderful thing; she may need you very much right now. I'm not certain what your boyfriend needs, other than someone under his thumb, perhaps.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 29, 2007, 10:23 AM
    Dump the chump, he is a slave master, not a loving caring person to be with, and be there for your friend.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Dec 29, 2007, 10:37 AM
    You've got a potentially complex situation here. On the one hand it really isn't his place to dictate who you can and cannot hang out with. But on the other hand she may actually have some fundamental character flaws that he's wise enough to see. The fact that she got herself pregnant in 11th grade suggests that there is some validity to his concerns. I guess ultimately you have to choose between him or her and I really can't make that decision for you. Of course, if he's trying to be as virtuous as he'd have us believe and he truly feels that you don't exercise as much discretion as you should when choosing your friends then he should be questioning his relationship with you. I guess one question that comes to mind is does he seem to have any control issues in other areas of your life or where any of your other friends are concerned? If so then you've got a major red flag to heed. But ultimately you've got to make your own decision.
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Dec 29, 2007, 11:16 AM
    I would have a long discussion with your boyfriend. He is having control issues, no guy should ever have that much control over how you live your life... no matter how long you have been dating. If he really loved you he would understand and listen to your feelings and opinions. Friends last a life time, and boys come and go! You should be with your friend at this time. It is a really difficult position to be in right now in grade 11. I am in that grade too. Put yourself in her shoes, she must be scared and frightened. She doesn't know what to do. You have to be there for her to make this time flow more easily. She also needs to tell her parents, because they have been through pregnancy before, and can really help with advice. Good luck, and if your boy friend still doesn't understand you, it is YOUR ultimate choice if he stays or goes. What ever think is best for YOU!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #8

    Dec 29, 2007, 11:30 AM
    I will agree with everyone, a boyfriend that believes he can order you ( and you actually listening to him) is a start of a very bad relastionship.
    This is not healthy in and to itself.

    BUT, I also understand if this girl is the type that sleeps around, your boyfriend would not ever want you hanging around her, as those that run together normally soon act the same wayy.
    occifer kt's Avatar
    occifer kt Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Apr 7, 2008, 04:00 PM
    DUMP THE SON OF A!! No man should have the right to control a women, you should let him know that!
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Apr 7, 2008, 08:10 PM
    I have been in the same situation when I was young and that's part of learning a/b love. It not good to have someone telling you what to do when they are doing it, if your b/f trust you he would never question your faithfulness.
    We all have friends that do things you would never do. At the age of 16 I was hanging out with girls that slept around and everyone thought I was doing the same thing but I was still a virgin.I did not even have sex until the age of 18.People tend to judge you by the company your in, but you can't be they friend just because of what they do? I never got that. Till this day I have bi/gay , s girls that strip and date married guys as friends. Also have lawyers, business owners and friends that well off. The point is I never judge they enough thoug might agree with their lifestyle.
    You should be there for your friend if she is your true friend. Leave him alone because it can only get worse and your young the most thing you should worry about is your future and be all you can be because the surving in this world is not easy. Cherish your true friends because like guys their hard to find. If u continue to be with your b/f it only will get worse because next he will start telling you what to wear ,where to go, and maybe hitting you because that's how they start.You find someone better your still young.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Apr 8, 2008, 09:39 AM
    All right... I'm going to play devil's advocate here...

    I'm assuming that your boyfriend is a pretty good guy. High school relationships are tricky at best, and for you two to have been together for two years, he must be a good one. He may be simply trying to play white knight and shield you from negative influences. As Fr.Chuck said, more often than not you are affected by the people that you hang around.

    All this being said…..

    I do agree that guys come and go, but your girls stay forever. There is something very strong in the bond between girlfriends… and when your girl friend is in trouble, then you should be there for her. Nothing should stand between you and your friends.

    I'd present this to him on this line… take it from the standpoint that you appreciate his obvious concern for you, but that you need to support your friend at this time. And that you will be supporting her. You need to tell him that this is something you know that you need to do, and do it.

    At THAT point, you will find out if he is just being a controlling jerk or if he really does care about you. Give him the benefit of the doubt here… and see what happens.

    Good luck sweetie. I commend you for wanting to be there for your girlfriend. She's going to need that kind of support. She has a true friend in you.

    :::EDIT::: I just read your post again... sweetie, if he IS a controlling jerk dump him. Really. Give him this benefit of the doubt, but if he turns out to be what everyone else on here thinks he is... please don't hesitate to break up with him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #12

    Apr 8, 2008, 11:38 AM
    This poster hasn't been around for the last 4 months.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Is it safe to have sex during pregency? [ 6 Answers ]

Hi I am sahar.. iam 4 month pergnant and my husband want 2 have sex with me.. he also want his 2 friends to join... he says it is his fantasy and he want to fullfil it... I have no problem in having sex with hi friends but is it safe to have sex during pregency? as I want this child.. help

Teen drug? [ 3 Answers ]

I found this pill in my sister's room and I'm not sure if it's drugs or not. I don't want to talk to her before I know if it's drugs or not. Its circular and about the size of the nail on my index finger. It has a line through one side and 0636 is in the other side. It's white and chalky.

Teen Pregnancy [ 12 Answers ]

All right. So I started a new birth control around March 31st. I started it late so I took too many. Then on April 14th I had sex without a condom but the guy pulled out. 1-2days later I have menstrual cramps and bloating. Could I be pregnant and know so soon? Or is it just because my birth...

Teen [ 1 Answers ]

What kind of diets and exercises and she do? She is now a cheerleander and is scared about fitting into a unaform. What do you think could help.

Teen [ 1 Answers ]

How do you giv a girl the best orgasm? :confused:


View more questions Search