Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 27, 2007, 01:51 PM
    slept with my neighbour/friend/ex's friend/he has a girlfriend
    So I was drinking at my friends house when he showed up just in time to give me a ride home and we've lived across the road from each other for quite some time now and we were friends in grade 7 until now... we're both 19. I had a great night with him we were up until 6 and woke up at 9: 30 to do it again. I went home and then we've been hanging out for the past 5 days talking about everything because he also is going out wiith this girl kaitlin which I found out the day after she has a baby which isn't his and I think they's been dating for a year, he told me they were going to break up when she got back from Mexico which is today, he told me the last time we talked he wasn't ready for anything and he just wanted to see how things panned out but I've never done the whole random things he's my 4th and I was in a relationship with the others, I really like him but I feel like I can do nothing . Also my ex boyfriend is good friends with him and I'm friends with Kaitlins cousin and sister it's so confusing please help lol I haven't talked to hime since last time either so what should I do ?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 27, 2007, 01:57 PM
    Holy... $hit. Episode of dawson's creek anyone?

    First of all... you're 19. Stop drinking underage. Apparently, it's illegal. Who knew? I'm not saying that people don't... just saying, don't announce it to the world.

    So...

    You slept with a guy... who is your neighbor... who has a girlfriend... who has a kid... who is friends with your ex... and you're friends with his girlfriend.

    ... stay away? If you're willing to lose your... ex, kaitlin, kaitlin's cousin for that one guy, then go all out. Other than that, wouldn't do it.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #3

    Dec 27, 2007, 02:09 PM
    Well I live in canada the drinking age is 19 lol and kaitlin isn't my friend her sister is kind of, and I know its pretty crazy... didnt think about it when we did it, me and my ex have also been broken up for a year and he still likes me but I think maybe he should move on, my friend christy went out with him.. we're best friends and she's going out with Tay;s friend Keith now lol I told her about the night and she thinks its weird yet somehow funny which I don't think so because I feel super guilty yet I've acted fine to him about it.. it's pretty ed I know.. it was unexpected for sure though
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 27, 2007, 03:35 PM
    Ok, you got drunk and sleep with someone, who is still with another girlfriend. He may or may not break up with the other girl, and he may or may not come to you. It is anyone's guess, Hope you were using protection.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Dec 27, 2007, 06:34 PM
    Well, from your story, it appears that-as Dr. Phil says-you have driven your life off into a ditch. Good news, you are still young and can straighten yourself out! I see a couple of problems here... one, you *have to* get drunk to have sex, am I right? Not much a bigger red flag than this indicating sexual problems! You have to get to a good therapist!

    Best wishes going forward.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Dec 27, 2007, 06:35 PM
    In my opinion, I don't think he'll break off the relationship. 9 times out of 10, when a guy cheats on his girl, he doesn't break it off... he just goes right back to the girl.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #7

    Dec 27, 2007, 08:35 PM
    Well one I don't have to get drunk to have sex lol I usually have to be in a relationship for that... it was just a mistake really but it just got emotions running high consider we've been good friends since we were like 13 or 14 and we'll be seeing each other all the time because we hang out with the same crowd... I don't really expect him to break it off with her I just think it will be pretty bad if I see them and I'm clearly going to have to keep my mouth shut about this... I just never thought that would exactly happen and he wasn't drinking that night at all and clearly in the morning we weren't drinking but after I went home it was like everything changed when I saw him next it's really weird but I guess I'm just going to do nothing about it and pretend it never happened because that's what I get with all of this and yes protection was definitely used
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Dec 27, 2007, 11:40 PM
    I applaud you! If and when he does break up with his girlfriend. Give him another try.
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Dec 28, 2007, 12:02 AM
    Now if I could only figure out which one of my long time friends are going to get drunk at someone else I know's house, I could arrange to pick them up... oh but they have to live across the road from me too... sounds like there may have already been some sexual tension going on between the two of you and that night just let it happen? Wait and see if he breaks up or not, and if you two want to continue...
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Dec 28, 2007, 05:47 AM
    Man, they must have really wide roads in Canada. She had been drinking at this guys house when he showed up and he gave her a ride home? Come on, she said they live across the road from one another.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #11

    Dec 28, 2007, 06:31 AM
    Haha no I was at another friends house and then Taylor showed up and drove me to his place because he was going to cook some food and clearly I was going to stay cause he's a chef and amazing at cooking , and before there was a few times he tried to get with me before but I didn't want to because I said it was weird lol because it is and it's not like I was wasted if that's what anyone is thinking I had about 5 beers so I was all right... the biggest problem is I just feel awkward talking to him and everything now. He texted me last night and asked how I was and if I wanted coffee but it was pretty late and I had to work at 7:30 so I said that maybe I would another day so now he wants to tell me something today which kind of freaks me out but I'm still pretty curious of course
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Dec 28, 2007, 07:22 AM
    Well if you want go see him and see what he has to say. But doing it twice kind of let him think you were into him.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #13

    Dec 28, 2007, 07:53 AM
    Well I kind of am a little into him but I can't be if he's with somebody... like there isn't going to be a repeat of it if he's with her because I feel horrible enough already, and I will probably talk to him tonight or tomorrow but I still feel weird about this whole thing and I really wish it didn't make me feel bad... do you think it's awkward if I ask him exactly this "I just want to know if your actually breaking up with her because i dont' want to be shocked when i see you together at a friends house or anything" because I honestly do want to know, I just don't want to seem too forward or pressure him at all because not what I like doing to people
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
    Ultra Member
     
    #14

    Dec 28, 2007, 08:09 AM
    That's not pressuring, that is allowing the both of you to "know where you stand", and that is owed to the both of you.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #15

    Dec 28, 2007, 08:33 AM
    That is very true thanks a bunch, because it's honestly been giving me that bad stomach feeling for a few days and it's pretty annoying, so I guess I'll try to have a ittle talk with him today and see what happens
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #16

    Dec 28, 2007, 08:51 AM
    Your crossing boundaries, and you know it, but you can't see the consequences, YET! Whether the thrill is worth it, or not has yet to be seen.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #17

    Dec 28, 2007, 12:21 PM
    Yeah okay so he broke up with Kaitlin 2 days ago he just told me and me and him are talking about "us" later but my assumption it will be about not having an "us" an I think I'm fine with that as long as he just says it... I know that's weird but I need it to be said , him and kaitlin are still friends which is good but still I'm pretty nervous about this talk
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
    Ultra Member
     
    #18

    Dec 29, 2007, 10:32 AM
    If you need it to be said, I think YOU should say it. This guy is calling all the shots, it sounds like. It's not good for either one of you. Figure out what you need and want right now and set some limits and articulate them yourself. This is your decision, too. Not just his.

    And I want to say too that 5 beers IS a lot, especially for a woman, as we break down alcohol more slowly that men. Good that you got a ride home, but not good that he took advantage of the situation. It sounds like he needed to comfort himself about his impending breakup. After all, she's apparently already left him for someone else. I think he's using you. Take charge of this situation and set some limits with him.
    2personal's Avatar
    2personal Posts: 49, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #19

    Jan 8, 2008, 01:55 PM
    He has cheated on his girlfriend, the chances are he will cheat on you, stay away from him.
    katie-edwards123's Avatar
    katie-edwards123 Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #20

    Jan 9, 2008, 06:43 AM
    Yeah we're just friends now so I guess everything is fine.. I've been pretty stressed out about it but he's always busy working so I doubt he thinks about anything too much. I had a talk with him on Friday and I kind of got a little mad at him because he said he saw her every day since they broke up and I said how that's not even breaking up, it's just they are technicallly broken up but not really broken up and if he really wanted to go back out with her to go right ahead but I also said I hated him a little bit which he understood of course because it is him but I still like him and everything but I definitely have given up on all that, too much of a retarded situation for me and more stress is the last thing I think I need right now . Thanks for the help though

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I slept with her best friend but its her I really like! [ 7 Answers ]

Hey, I like in a student house of 5 guys and this isn't the type of thing to ask them, and I apologise it's a bit long winded. About a year ago I was sort of seeing a girl, whose really nice but after sleeping with her and being around her best friend I realised that I had chosen the wrong girl....

My ex's friend [ 10 Answers ]

Hi, Me and my ex just broke up about a month ago... our relationship was off and on for a year and a half and every time we broke up, it was him who suggested it because he said he wasn't ready for a relationship.Now I'm talking to one of his friends.not on purpose but because I took interest into...

My ex's best friend [ 2 Answers ]

I am 16 and madly in love with this girl from my school but she is my ex,s best friend and well my ex can get rather jealous. and my school is really small (55 students) so it would be common knowledge in a mater of minuets what do I do, do I tell my ex strait out and see what she dose or do I give...

My ex's best friend is spreading rumors about me [ 9 Answers ]

I live in a group home where you aren't allowed to date anyone else in the group home. Back in August, when school started, I started dating one of the other clients anyway. We went really strong and steady until he broke up with me because we got in a fight over religion. He is Wiccan and I'm...


View more questions Search