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    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #1

    Dec 21, 2007, 01:18 AM
    Gifts from ex's family?
    So... if you've read my post, you'll know my situation. In a nutshell:

    Ex girlfriend of 3 years just broke up with me 2 weeks ago... found out she's dating a new guy... about 3 days after we broke up. OK. I'm dealing with that. The thing is, she hasn't told any of her family members that we broke up... possibly because she's afraid of judgment from her family.

    Anyway, her family adores me and her mom got me a gift for christmas, and her brother got me a card.. . she told me that she'd drop it off this weekend.. . do I take the gifts? Or do I just tell her that I appreciate it, but I can't take it, and that she can explain the situation to her parents?
    say cheese's Avatar
    say cheese Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Dec 21, 2007, 02:32 AM
    Talk to her mom who is giving you the present. Tell her that the two of you have broken up. Ask the mom if it's appropriate to accept the gift.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Dec 21, 2007, 08:47 AM
    Even though I think your still assuming your own thoughts are fact, telling HER you cannot accept her families gifts, is the better option.
    xcookiemonstorx's Avatar
    xcookiemonstorx Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 25, 2007, 01:14 AM
    Well I'm in the same situation. Boyfriend of 2 years has been cheating on me for about a month and probably about to have a rebound. But I did take the gifts from his family. Is that wrong? I lived with him. And I got presents for his family to. Even if your broken up her family still loves you so I think they would want you to have them.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #5

    Dec 25, 2007, 07:44 AM
    Yeah... since you've already taken the gifts, I guess you can't really do anything about that.

    As for me, I told her I couldn't take them. She didn't ask why. Done deal.
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #6

    Dec 25, 2007, 07:52 AM
    Isneeze, I think in your case that you should send the mom a note thanking her and explaining why you could not accept the gifts. That way no hard feelings.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #7

    Dec 25, 2007, 07:58 AM
    Well, I sent the gifts back, and I think my ex either

    1. threw away/kept the gifts... in which case, I need to write a thank you note pretending I got them

    2. gave the gifts back to her mom and explained the situation to her.

    ... I should find out what happened. Good call.

    The only reason I don't want to write her mom an explanation... is because my ex didn't tell her family we broke up... and that she got with someone within 3 days... probably to avoid judgment and confrontation from her family...
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #8

    Dec 25, 2007, 08:08 AM
    I would not get into the details in my mind of what she told did not tell. That is not your problems... let her do her own expalining. I would write the mom a note and let her know that I thanked her for the gifts, but since your daughter has broken it off with me I do not feel right in accepting them... thank her for her kindness and let it go. Leave it up to the daughter to lie, explain etc...
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #9

    Dec 25, 2007, 08:24 AM
    Oh, you so cold. OK. Done!
    kentgurl's Avatar
    kentgurl Posts: 4, Reputation: 0
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    #10

    Jul 21, 2008, 06:02 AM
    TRied giving back gifts ended up with emotional blackmail- I ended up just dissappearing off their rada
    Bonnie46's Avatar
    Bonnie46 Posts: 113, Reputation: 16
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    #11

    Oct 21, 2008, 12:51 PM

    ISneezeFunny.

    Good call! I think you did the right thing, by not accepting the gifts.

    Other post is correct: don't bother with details of finding out whether ex girlfriend threw the stuff out, or if she gave gifts back to Mom to return. Not your concern. Go on with your life, you'll be OK.
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