[NowWhat]

Hi. Well, this is a question I never thought I would ask. But here goes.

My husband got a DUI last night. I am out of town visiting family and he was/is going to join me on Saturday. He told me over the phone this evening. Needless to say I was a little shocked. I think driving while under the influence is irresponsible and all of that.

I just don't know what to expect. He has never been in trouble before outside of a few tickets. THey did not impound his car, make him post bail, did not fingerprint him or take his picture. He was in and out of the State troopers office within 20 minutes. ( Long enough for a friend of ours to pick him up. ) Not exactly what I pictured when you get arrested. He did get cuffs put on him.

He called an attorney this morning(he goes to court at 8:30am tomorrow) and the secretary told him to plead not guilty and then give them a call.

Am I to understand that his license is now suspended?

I am so upset with him, I mean, How STUPID! He is a grown man and he should know better. Right here at Christmas, not something we need. What was he thinking?
I wanted to scream at him, but we are 700 miles away from each other and I was on the phone in the middle of a department store.

Again, my actual question is this, What should I expect now? How much $$ is this going to cost? Is he going to jail on his first offense?

[passmeby]

Whoa! Sorry!

OK, his license is most likely not suspended right now, that happens at the trial/sentencing (usually). If they didn't say that his license was suspended, then it isn't yet.

The costs of a DUI vary, but expect to pay fines in the thousands. Plus your car insurance will be high if they don't drop you altogether. The lawyer will also cost you most likely in the thousands as well, it depends on the lawyer, but you'll want to find the best you can afford.

Really, the best you can hope for is a plea-down to something like "reckless driving", which will still cost you, but not as much. It's still major points on a license too. It's not likely that he'll get off totally scott-free on this, unless there is a technicality or something.

He probably will not go to jail, so don't worry about that. He'll most likely get suspended license, probation and be ordered to take alcohol classes.

[excon]

Hello Now:

There but for the grace of God, go I.

I'm not a drinker. But I did have two glasses of wine at a restaurant last Saturday night. I wasn't drunk. I hate drunk drivers. I've never had a DUI. But, I spose I could have gotten one if the circumstances would have been just so.

Do you not drink?? Yes, it's going to cost a bundle, but he won't lose his license, and life will go on. Get a good lawyer. But, don't be mad at him. He probably feels pretty bad.

excon

[NowWhat]

Hey Excon,
No, I don't drink. I am trying not to be mad at him, but it is really hard. I mean, if he had had 2 glasses of wine, then he would not have got a dui. He has a pretty high tolerance. He just does ot know when to stop. To know that, "hey I am leaving here in an hour, I need to stop drinking". He drinks until it he walks out the door.

And sitting here typing this, I don't know why it shocks me that this happened, it was just a matter of time.
I was reading up on the Ohio laws and I don't know if his license is suspended or not. They took it.
He is to drive down to GA tomorrow with all of our 7 year olds presents. If he has a suspended license..?

I am starting to freak out - bad. The money, well we will have to figure something out. He has contacted an attorney - that is supposed to be excellent - and he is going to cost $750 (for the retainer) -

He should be at court right now and I am on pins and needles

He has asked me to keep this private - and this is the best I can do. I need to talk to someone. Thanks for listening.

[excon]

Hello again, now:

We're private - I mean, it's only us.

Sounds like it WAS just a matter of time. Ok, then maybe this is the thing he NEEDED to wake himself up. Let's hope.

Yes, the money is going to hurt. But, if it's ONLY money and not your car, or somebody else's car, or his life... If something good comes out of it... Yeah, I'm trying to look on the bright side.

I don't know if his license is suspended or not. If the cops took it, that's not a good sign. Certainly, his lawyer should know.

Relax. You're amongst friends.

excon

[ScottGem]

Did they do any sort of blood test or breathylyzer test on him? Did he say he had been drinking and how much? I'm not sure if its too late, but he might want to get an independent test done right away.

Without medical evidence of being over the legal limit, it becomes the officer's word against his. Was he driving erractically?

And no his license is not suspended. As a first offense, unless he was extremely and obviously drunk, he will probably get off with a slap on the wrist.

[NowWhat]

I just heard from him. He plead not guilty (as instructed by the attorney). They let him go on his own recog. (or whatever).
He does have a suspended license, it will be that way until, at least, the court hearing. If not longer.

When he comes to GA, he is flying back to Ohio and then my daughter and I will drive back. Well, now, he has no Gov't ID to get on the plane. So, he has to figure out if he can get a state id. He lost his SS card, he could get another, but do you need photo id?
It's a big ole cluster F**k. Pardon my french.

I just kept asking what he was thinking. I try to be supportive daily. If you have ever read anything about me and my husband here, he has put me through the ringer. So, here is one more thing. I just want to hit him.

[NowWhat]

They did a breathalyzer test. The legal limit is .08, he blew .12 something.
He had bent down to get something out of a cd case and "misused" the lane and that is why he was pulled over. He said the officer was very nice. Which is a plus, I guess.
It was a "casual" arrest??

[ScottGem]

Ok, your other notes clarify matters, 12 is serious. Lets see what the lawyer can do.

[Fr_Chuck]

Bascly on the first, he can expect to lose his license for a while, and pay a big fine, also be on probation. Also when he does start driving again, expect his auto insurance to perhaps double, if he current company does not cancel him.

But some attorneys find loop holes, some officers don't do the DUI properly so a good attorney is the only thing.

NExt of course hopefully he will not drink and drive again, a second time being caght will be worst, and if you live in small area, they will be looking for him

[NowWhat]

Waiting is not easy for me. Especially being 700 miles away and having to act like I didn't just find out my husband did something extremely stupid!

When he told me what he blew, I almost fell over. He then goes on to say he wasn't sloppy drunk. That he was "fine". Again, wanted to punch him.

I don't want to be his mother, but I want him to know that this is NOT okay with me. After he told me what the possible sentences could be, I told him it would be nothing compared to my sentence. :) He said he knew that.
I would say that I am going to ask him to stop drinking all together. If he can not control it responsibly, then he should not do it at all. Would AA be out of line?

[excon]

Would AA be out of line?

Hello again, Now:

Telling him to go would be out of line. Supporting him if he went wouldn't be. It's really HIS business. You can't make him go.

However, you're allowed to let him know what you will and won't put up with. Then the choice will be his to make.

excon

[passmeby]

I would say that I am going to ask him to stop drinking all together. If he can not control it responsibly, then he should not do it at all. Would AA be out of line?

Wait for the trial, as I said, he may very well be forced to take alcohol classes. That could get the ball rolling. He's probably pretty ashamed right now and it might not be the best time to suggest AA. The thing is, he's got so many emotions running through him right now, let things settle down and give him time to grasp the whole situation.

I don't know you (obviously! ), so don't feel you have to listen to me, I've just been through this in my family so I know how he feels and I know how you feel. He's most likely overwhelmed by several different emotions, and he's also probably still trying to justify it in his mind. It probably isn't prime time to get him into treatment, let things sink in for a while, let him go through the emotions he needs to go through.

Good luck to you and I'm thankful for you that no one got hurt in this situation. Merry Christmas!

[NowWhat]

I am very thankful that no one is hurt. I am. Had he hurt someone in his moment of stupididty, He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

I just still want to punch him.