[awesomeguy]

I'm a student who is about to take a semester off college. Certainly that is unimportant except to the fact that it shows that I am young. In fact, I am 19 years old, going on 20 in less than a month. The girl I love, is at her home in Miami, and I'm from California. She loves her boyfriend, but from what I understand of her the last time she spoke to me, she sees her boyfriend as the ideal she epitomized as a little girl. They broke up because there were problems, but than they reconciled because he changed.

I'm confused by the fact that if he's her ideal, then how could there have been problems? She says he changed, but did she just see him as her ideal again, or is it truly him that changed? The worst part is, I could have dealt with that originally before an incident in which she helped save my life. My lung collapsed and she called the people that brought me to the hospital. I owe her my life, and because of that, I'll never forget her. My lung collapsed, unfortunately, if not caught early: death occurs. Luckily for me, I'm typing now. So I must be all right. So as you can tell, this makes me want her more.

My interest in her is not exclusive. We both have feelings for one another and she told me so because she said the timing was just wrong. It had only been about a week when we both found out about our feelings towards one another. The fact that I'm taking a semester off (not coming back to the school) and the fact that she got back with her boyfriend. I can tell there are moments between us where we want to just go at each other. However, we'd both feel guilty. I can feel it erupting from both of us.

Right now she's home. She's done with her finals. I can't fly for a month, and am going to be in New York until January to wait to fly home. I won't be able to see her unless I came to Miami or New York to visit. So, I'm scared I'll lose her because I won't be able to see her much.

That's not the worst part to it. The reason why I may feel too attached to her is due to the fact I've never been in a relationship before. In fact, I'm so desperate I basically asked for blind dates when I return home this break and maybe for the off semester. The fact I've never been in a relationship, coupled with her and I being extremely attracted to one another within a week, and her saving my life has put a toll on me.

She said to me once that I couldn't be in love with her because I hardly knew her. However, when she told me what her life was like before college, I felt like I knew her right then and there. There's not a day in my life now where I don't think of her.

Maybe I am in love with her. I don't know, and honestly, am scared because I don't want to ruin what we have as friends. I want her, but I can't have her. The story of my life. Should I worry about it because of how young I am? I know people will say, "You're young, don't worry. Someone is out there." However, how can you not love someone that saved your life and were extremely attracted to on a personal (and obviously physical level) within a week?

Please answer, if you look. I can't have people ignore this.

[Lowtax4eva]

It sounds like your just a friend to her, normally when a girl starts talking to you about her relationship with another guy it's cause you're a friend and she likes it being that way.

Just my opinion though, others might disagree. I'd say just wait and see what happens but try and move on for now and accept that she is a good friend you can talk to, if your meant to be together something will happen one day.

[nicespringgirl]

I'm a student who is about to take a semester off college.

Why would you feel like you need to take a semester off?

Financial problem? You can have a part-time job on the side, I know it was hard, but the things don't kill you will make you stronger!

I think you need to solve this problem before you think about girls.

[talaniman]

Gratitude and friendship, make for strong feelings, throw in lust and hormones, they can get pretty intense. Is it love, NO. not in a week. Do you know her? No, only what she choses to tell you. The feelings are strong, but do nothing as they are yours, and you already know she is unavailable. You tell a female you love her after a week, she looks at you like a nut, and knows you don't know what your talking about. Wait for someone who is as interested as you are.

[awesomeguy]

First off, I'm taking a semester off from school because I hate the school I'm in now. So, sorry if I didn't make it obvious. Second of all, I haven't been looking at schools recently, and I want the semester off from school anyway.

Finally, I did not tell her that I loved her. In fact, at that time, I only liked her. I began to love her once she saved my life.

[talaniman]

Give yourself some time and weigh, the gratitude, which is very understandable.

[George_1950]

You sound as though you are a good student. Spend a lot of time between now and May meeting girls/women, and work on your skills and techniques. Spend a lot of time studying relationships. All of this will work out over time, which I know you don't want to hear. I hate to tell you this, but understanding romantic love is a life-long process and there is no one more responsible for your success in this game than you.

[oneguyinohio]

Look into the possibility that it might have something to do with her saving your life. There is a lot of situations written about, especially in romance, where a saved person falls in love with the person who rescues them. The feelings may involve your gratitude, even unconsciously, but what better person to feel that you can trust your life to than someone who has already saved it. She may meet an aspect that you want to find in the right girl by being such a caring person and good care provider.

Be careful about seeing her as the saving person in your desire for a relationship. Don't look for someone to rescue you in that area, it should be based on a lot of factors other than just being rescued from not having been in a relationship. I myself might be inclined to feel the same way as you, but it might just be a process of your strong hopes.

[awesomeguy]

Again, I know that it's the gratitude that pushed me from liking her and being able to deal with her and her ex getting back together to me wanting her. To me truly unsure of what to do because of the fact that she's one of the few friends at my school who give a about what happens to me. That's why it has developed from liking to dealing with being a friend to, I love her and am confused about what to do next.

I know the gratitude should not overstep my thoughts, but I'm alive because she made that call. The woman whom I cared for to want something to develop further, but knew if it didn't happen, it wasn't the end of the world. I knew we were so similar when we first talked to each other. It was because of that I wanted to court her. I couldn't have that, so it would have to be a friendship. A friendship as I say, originally was fine.

Now, I'm stuck in a position where my Mom is trying to hook me up with this girl who went to school in my brother's grade, for this winter break. If that doesn't work, she'll move me onto other friends of her's that have daughters that are currently single and back for vacation. Considering no one in my area would really give me a shot on their own the way things have worked so elegantly, and my friends themselves probably wouldn't be able to get me on blind dates, I unfortunately have to accept my Mom's blind dates she throws at me.

So, I am going to try and not think about her like that with these blind dates. I don't know how well that'll work. Probably not well since I'll still be thinking about her no matter the situation. She saved my life, nothing a person you never met before can compete to that.

Although this is somewhat irrelevant, I'm studying to be an actor. The only true schooling that matters is that of better understanding my craft. So, I'm a good student for what I need really.

P.S. The girl I like wants to be a romance novelist. So I find this somewhat incoincidental that someone brought it up, but more of a stab to myself that I should have truly seen coming. I don't mean to sound like an about it, but it's something like everything else, I just need to take in stride.

[oneguyinohio]

It sounds as if your mother is trying to be helpful for you. Sometimes parents do things like that. If you are uncomfortable with it, ask her to wait before she sets you up with anyone. You can tell her you are trying to deal with other feelings right now, and don't want to complicate things or be unfair to these people she is trying to set you up with.

[George_1950]

"My lung collapsed and she called the people that brought me to the hospital. I owe her my life, and because of that, I'll never forget her. My lung collapsed, unfortunately, if not caught early: death occurs. Luckily for me, I'm typing now. So I must be alright. So as you can tell, this makes me want her more."

In the first place, what she did for you was not 'personal'. But you want to make it personal. In the second place, it is my view that you should meet lots of eligible ladies on your own; develop your style and techniques, and do not focus on just one. And, importantly, have a good sense of humor.

[awesomeguy]

I'm just curious about one thing. How is it not personal if she saved my life? I don't mean to ask like that, but it is confusing me that it isn't personal if she saved my life and I am only making it such.

Besides that I do have a good sense of humor, for the right people and situation I guess. I make people laugh in bad situations, and I made her laugh when I told her how I felt about her originally. I do make her laugh, so I have some funny bone, whether it's strong or not.

[George_1950]

It is good that you have a sense of humor. If I "save" a cat, dog, woman, or man from dying, it doesn't make it "personal". It is more of a natural or common sense reaction; on the other hand, romantic love is very personal and intense; and guys tend to cast common sense to the wind.

[talaniman]

She would have done the same for anyone who needed help, don't you think?

[UnAnaray]

I believe that you are infatuated with her at the moment. I think that she is foolish to go back with her boyfriend because there will a high chance of another problem. That isn't my place to inform her of that though. As an answer to your question I would try to move on, continue to be her friend. Just because you don't see her doesn't mean that a relationship will be lost. If you are really interested in dating her, as in a serious relationship you will have to base it on communication anyway. So right now I think the best thing you could do is be a good friend to her and let her make any further decisions. If she so feels the same way she will eventually come to you and let you know that she wants you too. I am not going to tell you to wait for her, keep an eye out for anyone else that you see as mature enough for you. If a girl likes you she will defiantly let you know.