[orange]

I have a 12 year old siamese cat, and my fiancé has a 2 year old golden lab. The cat and the lab get along really well actually. They play, and even sleep together sometimes. The problem is, I just found out I'm pregnant and there will be a new baby in the house by summer. Both cat and dog get a tremendous amount of attention and are very spoiled. I want to continue giving them lots of attention, but I'm worried about how things will change when the baby comes. I've noticed that several friends of mine, once they have a child, neglect their pets a lot. A couple of them have even given the poor pets away, and their children were not allergic. I absolutely can't do this, as I consider the pets family members too, and besides, I want my child to grow up with pets. I'm wondering if anyone has some advice on adjustments for the pets. I would like to start planning now if I can. Thanks!

[poseidon]

Hello Chava (Orange),

Labradors' are normally one of the friendliest, loyal and loving breeds of dog. My guess is that it will take to your new baby like a 'duck to water'.

However, no one can be 100% sure and it is unfortunately a case of having to wait and see.

In the unlikely event that your lab takes a dislike to your new born, it goes without saying that your baby comes first and has to be protected.

Siamese cats although for the most part are very lovable, do have a mind of their own and can display less friendly tendencies. The advantage for you is that both your lab and your fiancé's Siamese appear to get on well together so it is very possible that the same will apply when your baby arrives.

Unlike dogs, cats are far less reliant on we humans. They are more able to fend for themselves and are much more independent. My guess is that the Siamese will not bat an eyelid at the new arrival.

I agree it is still very important to spend as much quality time with your pets as you can, and I am sure you will.

My advice is to treat the pets in much the same way you would if you already had a young child and then had another very quickly after the first was born. We all know that a very young child can show resentment and jealousy toward a new born brother or sister. I do feel though that this is less likely to occur with your pets.

One word of caution. For health and safety reasons when your baby is born it is extremely important to keep an eye on the Siamese. The crib etc will be another place for him/her to curl up and sleep. Please make sure that the cat does not or cannot do this.

I hope this has been of some help to you and congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you have a wonderful, safe and healthy time.

Poseidon

[fredg]

Hi,
Congrats on the new baby coming.
Here is a site with many suggestions: worth reading.

http://www.2ndchance.info/babies.htm

I do wish you the best of luck.

[labman]

I am very happy you are thinking of the pets and planning ahead. Much of how things go with the dog depends on your relationship with the dog. The dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog. Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones. You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/. The dog has accepted the cat as part of the pack. As long as it accepts you and your fiancé as the top dogs, it should accept the new baby as another pack member to love and protect. Top dogs go through doors first, get the choice sleeping spots, eat first, and too many more things for me to cover here.

I skimmed through the site in the one link provided above. It may be written by a vet, but much of it is at odds with what I have been taught by some highly qualified vets. Although it does mention teaching a dog commands, it did not cover the importance of leadership. This is one problem with this site. Somebody that knows little about a subject can do a search and find a site that discusses it, and post a link to a low quality site like that one. The exile the dog to a kennel on the arrival of the baby doesn't sound like a good idea to me. So after it returns wanting to make up for lost time with you, it find a stranger occupying much of your attention? The net is full of sites dispensing the best of 50's techniques.

There are all sorts of techniques, bring something home with the baby's sent, etc. but the most important thing is establishing yourself as top dogs. Now is the time to remove the dog if it is sleeping in bed with you. Nothing else so clearly establishes who is who. As Labs approach 3 years old, many of them tend to challenge their owners for leadership. Meet the challenge, and you should have a reliable companion for your child and future children. Make the dog earn the right to be left alone with the child. Labs are big, sturdy dogs, usually good with children, accepting toddlers falls, ear or tail pulling as so much play.

It might help to expose the dog to children and babies as much as possible. Maybe before e the baby comes, it will better weather to find mothers with babies in the park. Invite people you know with babies to your house.

poseidon is fairly new here and may know much more about cats than I do. We could use a good, regular cat expert here. Unlike some others, I will say what I know about cats, very little.

[orange]

Thanks everyone for the great advice... I have added to all of your reputations! :)

I especially like the idea of obedience training for our lab. He's not a badly behaved dog, very pleasant and fun actually, but from your description labman, he definitely sounds like he's a bit of a top dog. He does sleep with us (as does the cat) and gets whatever he wants. I was already going to try to "wean" both animals out of sleeping on the bed, because I'm probably going to have the baby in bed with me part of the time. The cat has a nice window seat in the bedroom, and the animals also co-sleep in a big beanbag in the living room, so hopefully it won't be TOO difficult. We may be moving to be new house though... although I guess that won't matter too much as long as the animals get to keep their beds. I think I will start the lab on obedience training in January... I would like to attend a class if possible.

Thanks poseidon for your advice too. I will try your advice of treating them like small children, haha. I hope it will work... my siamese is actually NOT so reliant. We call him a "circus cat" because he does tricks and behaves very dog-like. He follows me from room to room and demands attention for most of the day when he's not sleeping. I'm actually more worried about him than I am the lab... he may very well be the "top dog" of the house haha. Anyway thanks so much.

Fredg, thanks for the link, I will read it soon! :)

Actually I have another question re: obedience training for the lab... he is my fiance's dog, as I already mentioned, but I will probably end up being the one taking him to the obedience classes. My partner is just finishing his residency as a family doctor, so he is extremely busy and doesn't have as much time for the dog as I do. I "babysit" him during the day, feed him and take him for most of his walks. So my question is, will it matter that I am the trainer? Will the dog still obey my partner too, or just me? Thanks.

[aj55]

I don't think it should be too much of a problem as long as you and your partner are on the same page as far as commands go. The most important part of training is to be consistent. Also, it would benefit both you guys and the dog if your partner was able to practice commands during the week. Its nice to hear you care so much for your family... Keep it up...

[orange]

Thanks! We will definitely use the same commands!

[aj55]

one more thing about the obedience classes. Do your research and find one that shares the same values you do... there are a lot out there that will waste your time and money... it doesn't bother me but some prefer the term yellow lab instead of golden...

[orange]

Oh thanks for tip... not sure how many obedience schools we have here (this is not a large city), but I will definitely be on the lookout. Yellow Lab? I have never heard of that! My partner says golden and its technically his dog so I just say the same thing LOL. But thanks for letting me know.

[labman]

Your fiancé definitely needs to learn the language and work the dog some. When I am out in public with my dogs, people occasionally ask if I could train their dog like mine is. Well, I could train it to obey me. This is the fallacy of paying a trainer to train your dog. You are the one that really needs trained. Ask around about classes. If the instructor talks a lot about treats, and not much about leadership, find another class.

I didn't spend too much time on that site Fred gave you, and suggest you don't either. It didn't take long to find a bunch of nonsense. I doubt the guy has near the experience with Labs that the vets at the dog guide school I volunteer for have. They also work with highly experienced trainers. Vets are doctors, not trainers. Fred just doesn't' have the experience to tell good advice from nonsense. Nonsense is very easy to find on the net. Unfortunately the Monks of New Skete don't have much except hype for their books on theirs. You can't go wrong with their How to be Your Dogs's Best Friend.

Oh, the dog knows you are pregnant. I am not sure how they know, but they know. He may become more protective of you.



The yellow Lab is a retired dog guide, our daughter is raising the Shepherd for the school, Sheba, and a mixed pet.

Yellow/Golden? The terms are often used interchangeably, but the yellow likely is the more correct term. The last time I talked to the kennel manager at the dog guide school he was joking my black Sheba is the true Golden Lab, since her mother was a Golden.

aj55, good comments on obedience. How is your boy doing?

[orange]

Awww... great picture of the dogs! :) The yellow lab in the picture looks a lot like ours. I guess I'll start calling it yellow if it's more correct haha. Thanks very much for the tip about treats... I will keep that in mind.

I still haven't had time to look at the site fredg recommended, but now I noticed that he is banned?! Weird. Anyway I guess I won't look at the site... I'll just take your word for it that it's not very good. I don't need to waste time.

Weird too that the dog knows I'm pregnant... could that be why he's been following me around the house a lot more lately? He's also been tapping me with his paw way more than before.

Anyway thanks for all your help!

[aj55]

Tiko is doing just fine... He has gotten back on schedule and seems to be feeling better... He definitely knows who top dog is (this week that is)... our obedience calsses did start with treats as a motivator for the dog... we are past the treats for the basic commands... we also realize he is only 8 months old and is still a puppy... we practice with him daily even if it is just for 10 minutes... we were also able to teach roll over and crawl which is really cute... being a pup he likes to jump to say hi, so we taught him to do so when we say hug... it has worked as he doesn't jump unless asked to... and if he starts to jump w/o being asked/told he gets a firm No or ut ut and he stops dead in his tracks and sits... we have been taking him to off leash dog parks/beaches and he is learning the come command quite well... I just can't wait to start the agility classes in 6 months or so... we might take him to the beginner classes where he gets to see the equipment and get familiar with it without actually training on it as he hasn't developed his body quite yet... He will be going to the vet on Thursday to get fixed... we are nervous about the surgery and the fact he is going to be staying overnight at the vet... but I'm sure he will be fine... I know we have to limit his activity following surgery... any tips on keeping him busy in the house... any tricks to burn off energy as he is use to about an 1.5hrs of exercise a day...

[labman]

Glad to hear Tiko is doing better. I hate it when the vet sends a dog home and tells me to keep it quiet. If he walks well on lead, walking him may be as good as anything. That will burn off some energy without running and jumping. Maybe work some on his commands, sit, down, and stay aren't too strenuous. Come is another matter. I remember our one male my daughter took to 4-H. Everybody would laugh the way he bounded the length of the barn on come.