[bellasenora60]

I'm 15, and I have to take care of my mother. She's 58 years old, and I've basically been her pyschiatrist my whole life. Now that she's older, I have to be her nurse as well. She had a parcial knee replacement last year, and I took care of her and the household by myself. Now she has to get a second one, a full knee replacement, and she has cried at least 3 times a week for about 2 months now. I just feel hopeless, and I can't do it anymore. Is there anything I can do without hurting her feelings or pride in any way? I am so tired... I just need a way out

[s_cianci]

Where is your father in all of this? How about your siblings? You should also ask her doctor about hospice care or other similar in-home care to assist patients recovering from surgery. I'm sure there are sources of assistance out there for your situation. You may have to do some searching to find them.

[bellasenora60]

No father, no siblings, and we don't have money to do that, and we both have prescriptions and medical problems that require money, thank you though, see why I don't know what to do anymore? Lol rar!

[ScottGem]

You need to talk to your local social services agency to see what help you can get.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you are on low income there are in home health care though your local welfare, Also to be honest, I know 100's of people who have had knee and hip replacements and they are back on their feet in little time, and they are at the mall walking soon after.

Does your mom enjoy the attention and not having to care for things?

[bellasenora60]

I don't know if she does or not, but thank you, I'll try and look into that

[mwilliams15]

Yes.. look into the home health care.. a lot of welfare type agencies (department of health and human resources would be a good place to start) can provide a certain amount of hours a week of help. Just tell your mom that you love her and you want the best help for her, which would be a home health aid. After all, you are only 15 years old.. You have a lot you need to be doing for yourself (school, looking into colleges, speding time with friends- some sort of social life is a must). I think she'll understand, just be calm and rational. Good luck!

[Ren Radio]

Bell...
I spent my entire childhood taking care of a mother with severe rheumatoid arthritis. My father was in the home but abusive and on drugs. Our older siblings left the country at the first opportunity, and my brother, 2 years younger than I, had to be cared for too. I eventually left home through 5 different shelters. I saw her through full knuckle and wrist replacements on both hands, a hip replacement, a knee replacement, spinal fusions.. you name it. I also had to work full time to keep food on the table, so I had to quit school to do it, and went to night school instead (Understand this: I DID finish school! )

My mother still tells me she wishes she would have aborted.

The situation you are in need not mirror mine. You love your mother and want to care for her, but she has a respsonsibility to you and herself to find other means of support in the home. She sounds as though she suffers from depression, and though you may not want to hear it, you may be allowing the guilt to emotionally blackmail you into an endentured servitude... which is helping neither of you. This is why "tough love" exists! Being a faithful and loving daughter is admirable, and we would really expect no less of you as a fellow human being. But at the same time, there are limits to the burdons we can place on our children. I am now a mother of three children, 3, 6, and 9. I cannot imagine placing my children in the same scenario no matter how sick I got.

You do not relay your mother's other health issues, or if indeed there are any. I can tell you that aggressive physical therapy and weight bearing excersize is vital to recovery for joint replacement therapy. Mom is sad and scared, and you have a right to care for her and love her: but you must seek outside help. Being a teenager is hard enough. Talk to your high school counselor, your pastor, or the parent of a trusted friend. Ask for help and keep asking until someone takes you seriously. Please PM me any time you have questions. I will make the time to be available to you. God bless! And don't give up.

[ohdangitsaudrey]

it's amazing how you are able to handle all that responsibility. PROPS!
especially after I just finished reading SEVEN pgs about another girl (same age as us) getting & wanting to get pregnant =\

sorry I have no advice =\
but if you need someone to talk to? O___o
I'll listen.