[DJ 'H']

So I have been working for this company for 8 months. 4 months ago I was stopped by the boss and told that they were really impressed; so they were giving me a payrise. Uping me by £2000 extra a year ontop of my already fixed annual salary. I was so excited and knew with this payrise I could afford to get a new car and even move out of my parents house into my own place. (Finally).

4 months later I have still not received my payrise and I am not sure how to communicate this to him. The boss is very intimidating and not approachable at the best of times. I have communicated it to the house manager who is a rank above me; but he did not really say or do much about it.

What do you reckon I should do?

[RickJ]

Be humble but frank...

Friendly greeting, etc... then along the lines of

"I've been hesitant to ask, knowing you are very busy, but 4 months ago you said I'd be receiving a raise. Has something changed?"

[DJ 'H']

Thank you! Just need the courage to do it now lol

[Chery]

Rickj's advice is exactly what you should do. I sincerely wish you that raise and a nice car. Good luck, you deserve it.

[DJ 'H']

Thank you for your kind words. Fingers Crossed.

[Curlyben]

Sorry to say 'H' but it looks like you've been 'screwed over'.
The previous company I worked at for 10 years set me tagets and promises if I beat them. I completely thrashed them and got absolutely nothing, nada, nix, nowt. It's quite typical for companies to say they'll increase your pay to make you work better, but when it comes to the pay out they either forget or swear blind that nothing of the sort was said.

The lesson that I have learnt from this is ALWAYS get promises in writing, preferably in more than one form, i.e. e-mail and a letter. That way when it does come to the crunch they can't back out.

[DJ 'H']

Well it's only a small company and family run. At the moment ehere are fueds going on in the family to the point where the police are involved etc. It's starting to effect me because the boss takes everything out on me and everything I do or say is wrong. It's so stressful and that is not why I took this job. My last job was stressful, I was not appreciated and there was no ladders to climb. This job was meant to be the opposite but instead I am being treated like ****, getting stressed and being held back.

I have recently been thinking it is not worth it and I should look for another job. It's a joke.

[fredg]

HI,
Very sorry to hear about this.
I am retired, worked as a Manager for many, many years, plus then worked for two different companies,. caught in this "lay-offs due to permanent cost-cutting". Funny that in all cases, all of us laid off were over 55!!
At least you are not caught up that type of stuff yet.
Some bosses do exactly as your's did... see you in the hall, praise you all over, say you will be getting a raise... then do nothing about it. It's all about lying!
You did the right thing by asking the boss about it. Most companies have a "chain of command", by which you ask the immediate supervisor, then go to his/her boss, then go on up... etc, etc. etc.
Good jobs are hard to find now in US, and large companies are cutting back on promised retirement plans, and on and on.
I do wish you the best of luck, and YES, I would look for another job, and give it another try with another company. You are still young. My last job change was at 60! My families' health conditions made it necessary for me to retire shortly after that. Good luck to you.

[Chery]

Well it's only a small company and family run. At the moment ehere are fueds going on in the family to the point where the police are involved etc. It's starting to effect me becuase the boss takes everything out on me and everything I do or say is wrong. It's so stressful and that is not why I took this job. My last job was stressful, I was not appreciated and there was no ladders to climb. This job was meant to be the opposite but instead I am being treated like ****, getting stressed and being held back.

I have recently been thinking it is not worth it and I should look for another job. It's a joke.

Dear, I know how it feels, if your boss likes your work and you, then others will try and get rid of you somehow. If they can use you to do two people's jobs to save money, they will. If you create new and innovative ideas to help the company, you don't get the credit you deserve. Unfortunately the way the job markets are all over the US and Europe right now, everyone is scared to take a chance and leave, therefore taking the undue stress which is a health and emotion time-bomb. Thank goodness you are still young (you've probably heard this a lot, but I'm almost 56 and have several illness which prevent me from working legally according to the German government, therefore really bad off) but please don't give up and don't sacrifice yourself for those who will not appreciate you. Remember that a job usually entails at least 1/3 of your normal adult life if not more, and you should be able to enjoy at least a bit of it instead of letting it stress you all the time. My daughter started her first taste in a job as a cleaning lady in a hotel, then worked herself up step by step, took classes, and is now assistant manager to the district finance office for the chain of US military hotels near Ramstein, Germany - and I'm proud of her - she did it all by herself - she's always been good at math. She married a husband who built three houses, and left him because the love was not there anymore, he took her for granted to get the US ID Card, and he did not want children. She is now living with a wonderful guy in the Air Force and they both love their jobs and each other. It's important to like your job - so find something you'd like to do and start over, no matter how long it takes as long as you can go home feeling good without needing a drink, or anything else. I also hope you have a partner that gives you strength and support when you need it as this also helps make life a little more tolerable in these hard times. As I said before, you give good advice to others but it's sometimes hard to find the right path for ourselves - isn't that ironic, but true, as when it comes to ourselves, we tend to procrastinate (I'm one of those too).. What would you suggest to someone in your shoes? I understand that you love music, can you find something there? - even if you have to sling hamburgers during the day to make ends meet, your music might eventually get you to a more satisfactory goal in your life. At any rate, I certainly wish you a lot of luck, no matter what you choose in this harsh world, please don't give up on yourself, and keep us posted. All the best and try not to let anyone 'mob' you again. Isn't there a way you can start a new apprenticeship in the UK? Maybe you'll even find your niche in a social work type career. So, it's never too late.

[DJ 'H']

Chery - you are so wise - to be honest I have actually decided to look for a new job. I am not happy and I suffer with stress and as a result of everything going on I have recently started having panic attacks again which I thought was a thing of the past - so for my own health I am going to have a rethink over the xmas holidays and put my efforts into getting a career that I want and that will make me happy. My DJing is really starting to go somewhere now - I have an agent, business cards and I appear on flyers all around the Somerset area.

I think I am going to find a job that co-insides with this, maybe even go back to college and do a course in something. Either that or concentrate my efforts into getting a job where I can help others - my friends always said I would make a good counselor. So we shall see what I come up with and I will certainly keep you posted.

My boyfriend always offers me great support and has been a absolute star these past few weeks. Without him I would be a complete mess.

[Chery]

Good for you DJ 'H'. I'm so glad that you have the support of your boyfriend too, that emotional support counts a lot. Do everything you can to keep those panic attacks at bay and try not to take any antidepressants please, as they only make things worse. Going towards counselling is a good idea, as this will also help you understand yourself better during your studies - and you'll be the first to benefit from it. I certainly hope everything will work out and fall into place. Keep up the good DJ work - not too many of us 'gals' get their foot in that direction. Remember, keep us posted, because I know you'll make it.



This x-mass season might be meager, but wow, think about the next ones to come!

[DJ 'H']

Thank you Chery. I am the only female DJ in Wiltshire and 1 of 2 in Somerset - Us gal DJ's get more attention than the guys - it's fab and I just love music - it's my passion. I plucked up the courage and downloaded an application form for the UK's 2006 X-Factor yesterday. It has to be in before the end of March 06. I am going to enrole myself back into singing lessons between now and then and give it my best shot - you never know. At least I can be told by the experts whether I have it or not and be bale to look back in years to come and say "atleast I tried". One way or the other I will never know unless I try.

[Chery]

Thank you Chery. I am the only female DJ in Wiltshire and 1 of 2 in Somerset - Us gal DJ's get more attention than the guys - it's fab and I just love music - it's my passion. I plucked up the courage and downloaded an application form for the UK's 2006 X-Factor yesterday. It has to be in before the end of March 06. I am going to enrole myself back into singing lessons between now and then and give it my best shot - you never know. Atleast I can be told by the experts whether I have it or not and be bale to look back in years to come and say "atleast I tried". One way or the other I will never know unless I try.

That's the attitude! Coming from you, I did not expect anything less. You've got my vote and also my crossed fingers, girl. Go and get 'em!

[DJ 'H']

That's the attitude! Coming from you, I did not expect anything less. You've got my vote and also my crossed fingers, girl. Go and get 'em!

Thank you, your comments have filled me with some confidence! Can't quite believe I am sending the application off lol