[XenoSapien]

1. Because children equals money

2. Because the parents care about the child first

3. Revenge against the other parent

4. The age-old 'War of the Roses'

5. Best parent equals a better child


I tend to think #4, but what do you think?


--XenoSapien

[Denise1128]

I care about both of my girls and it wasn't about the money. For a long time, I didn't ask for child support.

[NowWhat]

I would think #2. As a good parent, you always want what is best for your child. Most people don't want their kids to grow up in a "broken" home and would like to have both parents together. In a perfect world it would be. But, sometimes that just can't happen. If I were put in the situation, I would fight for my daughter. Not because I am mad at her dad and want to make him pay. But because She should be with me.

[rpg219]

I would like to agree with Now... but I tend to think, more often than not, that it is #3 (sadly enough)

[NowWhat]

And anyway, revenge is covered by alimony. Child support isn't. :)

[shygrneyzs]

I think #3 wins out over the others. The fight is often about control, manipulation, a way of getting "even" with the ex and taking the child away (a means to cause the most damage to the other parent).

[NowWhat]

You guys REALLY think #3? Revenge is the motive when parents fight for there kids? I can see it in some cases, but in the majority?
Wow! Maybe I am just sheltered or something. I would not fight for my child to hurt my husband. I would fight for her because I believe she would be better with me.

But you really think #3?

[shygrneyzs]

Yep, I sure do.

[rpg219]

Yep, me too. I wouldn't do it either... but I do think it's majority

[shygrneyzs]

With my divorce, the custody of our youngest was not an issue. My husband did not want to provide the care and he agreed that I would be best - he agreed until his attorney told him about child support. Lol. Then the fight began - not about custody, but about the child support.

[oneguyinohio]

I tend to think that the answer would be over who has control of what I consider the most precious outcome of the marriage. In making my personal decisions, I felt that it was best for my son if I did not try to gain custody. His mother, and her family, had the life style that I wanted for my son, in an area with schools and environment that I wanted for him. Her family supports also were more appropriate as far as care givers, etc... My family resources were vastly different than hers, so I proceeded with his best interest in mind. The story would have been vastly different if I had any reason to suspect any type of harmful situation for him beyond the separation from me. I have continued to be supportive of him and be involved in everyway possible. My internal struggle was in deciding if I was doing the right thing for my son, and giving up on any time with him... I went from being his primary care giver to something less, which hurt tremendously.

It would have been easy to fall into the fight over custody issues had I not always tried to look at my son's best long term interests. I do not see my ex as the best parent, but also not as a bad parent. One of my ongoing issues is that when I make a suggestion to her, it is often treated as a bad idea or dismissed because it is my idea... then six months later, the idea strikes anew with the twist that is her thinking of it. Since it is her idea, it suddenly becomes a much better idea??

[robgun]

Well I think each situation is different, but to be honest I think that all of the reasons above have been the motive at some point and time.