[DJ 'H']

I work for a company as a wedding co-ordinator and I have become very good friends with the Chef 'J'. He and I are of the same age, same sense of humour and always have a laugh at work - he has even met Pete. Pete and 'J' get on really well too - we are all very similar. 'J' has a girlfriend 'C' who I have met only once and she is rather shy and quiet around people she doesn't know.

'J' and I have our xmas party at work this Saturday and the four of us (Me, Pete, 'J' and 'C' are meeting up at the pub before hand and then going on to the party together. I am a little concerned that Pete, 'J' and I are going to be flowing with conversation, being random like we all are and having a laugh as we do and 'C' will feel left out. She does not know Pete or I whereas me, Pete and 'J' all know each other.

How can I ensure she does not feel left out? How can I make sure if she looks at any point uncomfortable make her feel a part of everything? All my friends are loud, bubbley and are able to adapt to any situation or environment so I have never had to worry about this before.

[fredg]

Hi,
Tell Pete you are going to include her in all the conversations. Then he will know you are not trying to "exclude him" whenever you are talking with C.
Be sure you talk with C every time someone brings up something. It's easy to ask her, "what do you think?".
Don't ignore her; and make sure you are talking with her, and to her, throughout the evening.

[DJ 'H']

That's a good idea telling Pete - at least then he will be aware of what I am trying to do. I just don't want to go too overboard - don't want to perhaps get on her nerves! I am a chatterbox at the best of times lol

[fredg]

Hi,
My wife is a "chatterbox", too. I have sometimes even turned the TV remote toward her and pressed "mute". It didn't work. LOL; but she gets a laugh out of me trying!
You can usually tell if someone gets to the point that they are not paying attention to what you are saying to them. If C starts looking away when you are talking to her, then you might want to "ease off" a little.
That's a good sign that she is interested in something else, or not interested in what you have to say. But, I am sure she will have a good time. Sounds like you and your friends are very fun people!

[DJ 'H']

My friends and I are crazy (in a good way). We just love having fun and being 'Random' as we like to call it. We all like taking the mickey out of each other, we will all get up and dance no matter what and even if we go somewhere that isn't very good we always end up making the best of it. We firmly believe it's not the place but the company that makes your night.

Having a giggle and enjoying ourselves is what we are all about. We are all very hardworking - so we really go all out at the weekends when we are together.

Thank you so much for your help & advice, I feel a bit more at ease. Some people find me a little too loud and bubbley (they don't like it) and have said so to friends of mine and although I have never let it bother me - I don't want 'C' to be thinking that because of my friendship with J.

My friends have done the whole remote control thing with me too - I find it highly amusing. Pete loves the fact that I am chatty - he says it's suits my personality - but if he wants to shut me up a kiss usually does the trick lol

[JoeCanada76]

Hello DJ 'H'

Please do not try to hard to make her fit in. Please just feel it out and make it natural. Some shy people, depending on the situation may come of their shell with certain people. I have always been very shy, but once I come to know somebody I am very talkative and out going. It all depends, some people I am very quiet with all the time and there are other people I click with right away and actually have no problem socializing with at all. It just takes time for some people. If there is too much push to get them to open up some shy people knowing that might withdrew more. Or if this person is a drinker, after a few drinks this person will be bubbly like the rest of you. Eighter way, everybody will have fun and do not think about it too much. Body language shows a lot. Sensitive people or shy people can pick up on it stronger then others. Just be yourself. If you are way to bubbly and going crazy Pete will give you a big kiss and that will be a sign to calm down. Ask pete for The sign.

Joe

[DJ 'H']

Thank you. You have a wonderful way with words, you always manage to put things in perspective.