[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

I'm in love with someone who is 8 years older than me...
It is my true love.. we both love each other... he also loves me truly..
He is my cousin in realtion..
So he lives with me...
But woh mujhse ab baat naihn karte... ek din mood achcha hota hai toh 1 don kharab..

Kabhi kabhi he tries to ignore me.. bt I know him very well.that he loves me..
We both treat each other like husband and wife..
He tells me everything nothing is hidden from my side or his side...
Agar kuch baat hoti hai toh mujhse hi poochhte hain you batate hain...
But I don't want to let him go..
Please help me to stop by going.. please
We have decided to marry in 2-3 years he had talked to his parents & brother and his wife... his brother and his wife don't like me...
But he (my lover) told them that I want 2 marry her whether you like her or not..
Now please help me..
Help me
Pyaar ki maari

[jeffatl]

I can't read this...

[DJ 'H']

I think the jist is: This women is in love with her cousin and her cousin is in love with her. They both wish to marry in 2-3yrs.

Her cousin has a brother and also a wife. He has told both his brother, wife & parents he is going to marry this women whether they like it or not.

His wife & brother don't like this women - I think that's understandable in the circumstances.

But I cannot be sure what this women is asking for help with - that's rather unclear!

[fredg]

Hi,
The language differences and meanings might mean something here. Is he really your "cousin in relations"? By that, do you mean he is really a blood relative?
If he is really a blood relative, like an Aunt or an Uncle, or as we say in America, a blood relative Cousin, then you do NOT marry him. The persons' genes play an important part, and any children you have may be deformed!
Other than that, you do not want to marry anyone your parents do not approve of. If you do, you will face many hardships with your parents, and especially if you have children, they possibly will not want to be "grandparents" to your children.
Marriage, in itself, is difficult to keep going, and when parents are against it, it makes it even more difficult. Your chances at a successful marriage then become even less. I do wish you good luck.

[shenda]

Years ago and currently according to religious convictions, marriage amongst once removed relations is an acceptable practice; however, you selll yourself short by clinging to your cousin, you are not able to experience your true self. It is by connecting with someone outside of your family that will bring to surface your core self. This person will challenge you, extend you beyond what is familiar unto areas of discovery. The fact that you have had sexual relations with this man has opened you to feel that he is your true love; however, if you were to experience another, you may realize that your cousin is not your true love. Sex creates emotional confusion for the feeble. You know that this marriage will not be blessed; therefore, seek not to entangle yourself any further. Cease from sexual incest and know that another man will value you, respect you, above all, the union can be blessed.

[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

But can anyone tell me does he truly love me or not..
I love him truly
And please I have written much in HIndi..
So who know hindi can go through it

[DJ 'H']

"Does he truely love me or not" - That's not really something we can answer - perhaps if you give us a bit more detail we may be able to give you are opinions?

[DJ 'H']

We are not all like that you know! Not all girls suck - and to be fair some men are just the same!

[Tony2005]

I understand a little bit of Hindi language.
Is he your blood relative cousin ? If yes, then you need to think again.
Besides being into incest which isn't considered good, the idea of marrying him after 2-3 years is a complete no-no.
I am not sure if you two have got into a physical relations too but it seems to me that you are abusing your own self. He is 8 years older than you and he is your cousin. I am not very clear on what basis you'll have decided to get married. Perhaps, you fell in love with him on first sight even before a nice guy coming to your life. Getting attracted to the opposite sex, be it relative for that matter, isn't something uncommon but one needs to understand the circumstances before coming to some emotional decision.
Either you will end up being abandoned by him or you will ditch him. Eventually, you will have a deep scar on your heart for your own stupidity. Its not too late, you could still think seriously and come out of this situation as soon as possible. You will only be left with a feeling of being sexually abused after your relationship ends. Do not go any further. Immediately back-off from this situation. Look for somebody else.

[Chery]

girls need to give better hints, or stop teasing and flurting to people u dont like, girls suck :confused:

Hey zeny123, we 'girls' are not here to give 'hints'. We are here to give advice - and at your age you might not know the difference. Just because you have not been given good hints in your 15 years of life and have problems more serious than those mentioned here, you should not feel free to make an off the wall statement. So next time, please try to think with the head on your shoulder, before issuing criticism that does not belong.

[lilfyre]

There are sites out there that will let you translate what she has written likeThe translator but it does not translate Hindi, I did learn that it is spoken by 480 million people in India, south Asia. Most of the other sites, you either have to pay to have it translated or down load the program, so with out the whole thing written in English it is kind of hard to answer, based on what you have written, if he is your cousin it is wrong, and there is no way for any of the good people here at ask to know if he truly loves you.

[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

But now he doesn't talk to me
Y he is angry I don't know...
I thnk he never loved me
.. wat should I do
Please
Tell me

[Chery]

but now he doesnt talk to me
y he is angry i dont know...
i thnk he nver loved me
..wat should i do
please
tell me

I don't know how your family is reacting to this confusion of yours, but have you talked to them? If you are living in a country with different customs, you might be better off complying with these customs instead of running into something you think is love. Maybe you were secluded so much to the point that you two were the only ones of your age that were allowed to communicate with each other, and now have been 'found out' and he has been told by his family that he should no longer see you. I don't think he hates you, I just think that he has been told to cut the ties between you to prevent further harm - and harm is what it would be to continue to keep you in believing that you have a future together. Please understand that at your age, you will experience many such emotions, wanted or not, and there is nothing you can do about it except to learn and grow from these experiences. There will be many other 'chapters in your life' to come, and you will find that reality, meeting new friends, and eventually finding a new love, can be better than the fantasy world you've been living in. Unfortunately, until you are of legal age, no matter what country, you must do what your parents think is best for you, so accept this and plan for a good education, a good independent future, and then you will eventually be able to choose the person you want to share your life with. Until then, please be patient, and eventually all will work out for the best.

[nymphetamine]

What's the matter with kids these days? :D aapki- I wish I could help you better. Maybe its not you your cousin is angry at. I hope you can find some sort of happiness.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry but first the english is not really clear enough for me to give a real proper answer.

But a lot of information is also missing.

First what nation do you live in, what nationality is this. There are codes of what is proper and not proper that varies greatly from one culture to another.

Next a cousin can be a 1st cousin, your aunt or uncles daughter, but it can also be a very distance person in other cultures, Often it can mean just someone with some relationship.


And next if you are talking about waiting 2 or 3 years, what is the big deal, if it is love it will be there in a few years. Why make such a big deal with your parents at this point, let it rest and see what happenes.

[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

I am sorry but first the english is not really clear enough for me to give a real proper answer.

But alot of infomation is also missing.

First what nation do you live in, what nationality is this. There are codes of what is proper and not proper that varies greatly from one culture to another.

Next a cousin can be a 1st cousin, your aunt or uncles daughter, but it can also be a very distance person in other cultures, Often it can mean just someone with some relationship.


And next if you are talking about waiting 2 or 3 years, what is the big deal, if it is love it will be there in a few years. Why make such a big deal with your parents at this point, let it rest and see what happenes.

I'm from india(delhi), I don't know he loves me or not..
Suddenly his behavior has changed specially to me, he don't talk to me.. he teases me every time... at any topic.. I love hi truly, that's y I can't say a single word to him.. his sis-in-law, hates me.. she teaches him not to talk2 me
Please tel me what shoul I do... he know that his sis-in law is trying 2 keep me away form him.please help me..

[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

I don't know how your family is reacting to this confusion of yours, but have you talked to them? If you are living in a country with different customs, you might be better off complying with these customs instead of running into something you think is love. Maybe you were secluded so much to the point that you two were the only ones of your age that were allowed to communicate with each other, and now have been 'found out' and he has been told by his family that he should no longer see you. I don't think he hates you, I just think that he has been told to cut the ties between you to prevent further harm - and harm is what it would be to continue to keep you in believing that you have a future together. Please understand that at your age, you will experience many such emotions, wanted or not, and there is nothing you can do about it except to learn and grow from these experiences. There will be many other 'chapters in your life' to come, and you will find that reality, meeting new friends, and eventually finding a new love, can be better than the fantasy world you've been living in. Unfortunately, until you are of legal age, no matter what country, you must do what your parents think is best for you, so accept this and plan for a good education, a good independent future, and then you will eventually be able to choose the person you want to share your life with. Until then, please be patient, and eventually all will work out for the best.

THANKS CHERY
No I haven't talk to them and I cant.. I'm form india.I think if he doesn't loves me then why he told his parents, friends, bro, sis-in law.. that he will marry me.. he is sure... he said he can't marry me now because he hadn't sufficient money to make family.. to satisfy me... he said earlier that he wants 2 make me happy... after marriage... so he is hard working...
But what happened to him now... he is not responding me.. I think he is trying to neglect me, ignore me...
I don't know y
Please help me...

[PrettyLady]

Aapki_Hamdard, you seem way too young to be concerning yourself with your cousin and marriage. I don't know whether incest is permissible in India, but keep in mind that genetic cousins are like brothers, and some family members will find it unexceptable. It seems to me that your cousin is scared and unable to deal with the situation, so he's trying to avoid you. Do not smutter him, it's only going to make matters worse. You must remember your worth, and if you know he doesn't love you then he was never worth your time to begin with. It's time for you to let go and get on with your life. Remind yourself that your young and there's so much for you to do, you can start by getting an education and meeting new people. In the future you will find a nice guy who will want to be with you.

[Chery]

Dear, I don't know what to say to you but the bare facts.. You said you are from India, but where do you live? It seems the only thing you have on your mind his him, and it's time you stop this nonsense, he's your cousin, and 8 years older than you. The sooner you get away from him and your current environment, the better. This is the time in your life where you should be happy and carefree - and not miserable. You called him your lover - so you have had sex and he probably is the first you've had sex with and think you'll never ever find anyone as good as him. He, on the other hand, in my opinion, since none of his family likes you, has done nothing but use you for his pleasure. He probably was not telling the truth when he promised marriage and a 'family' - he was just keeping you on the hook and now he's tired of you. He knew from the beginning that no matter what promises he makes, they will be negated by his family and he used that as an excuse to keep you in hiding and still give him what he wants. He avoids you in public now because he knows that his family does not approve, but he might call you and probably suggest you meet in secret now, again, just to please himself and this is not fair to you. Please wake up and realize that you have been used - unfortunately by someone in the family who you should have been able to trust. I think that you will probably feel that life is at an end for you now and that you are not worth anything to any other man, but believe me, not all men feel this way or follow in this custom. Wait until you are old enough to move into a place of your own, get to know new people in school or university, and hold your head up with self-respect even if this means leaving your country and going to study elsewhere. Then you will see how many young men will be interested in you and proud to be in public with you and not use their family as an excuse to avoid you. They will love you for the person you are, not just for an object to play with. But this will only happen if you start respecting yourself and work toward independence - and stop thinking about marriage with this user of women. Several years down the road you will see him with a family that he did not choose, but was forced to accept, and he will be very unhappy, as he deserves to be since he treated another human being as a toy. Remember, no matter what culture, or heritage, treating someone bad will always be paid back. Just because you both have the same culture this does not give him the right to use you the way he did. In most European countries and in the U.S. his treatment could also well be considered abuse of the worst kind. Consider the consequence he must live with, and go on with your life. You need to realize that you too can have a fulfilled life without feeling like 'used goods' so please collect your self-respect. Also talk to someone outside of your family to be reassured that you did nothing wrong to endorse his actions. You were young and in love, what's his excuse except for being a pervert. You don't say much, but this is what I read in your short verses. Remember, when you are down this far, there is no other way but UP!

[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

Dear, I don't know what to say to you but the bare facts..You said you are from India, but where do you live? It seems the only thing you have on your mind his him, and it's time you stop this nonsense, he's your cousin, and 8 years older than you. The sooner you get away from him and your current environment, the better. This is the time in your life where you should be happy and carefree - and not miserable. You called him your lover - so you have had sex and he probably is the first you've had sex with and think you'll never ever find anyone as good as him. He, on the other hand, in my opinion, since none of his family likes you, has done nothing but use you for his pleasure. He probably was not telling the truth when he promised marriage and a 'family' - he was just keeping you on the hook and now he's tired of you. He knew from the beginning that no matter what promises he makes, they will be negated by his family and he used that as an excuse to keep you in hiding and still give him what he wants. He avoids you in public now because he knows that his family does not approve, but he might call you and probably suggest you meet in secret now, again, just to please himself and this is not fair to you. Please wake up and realize that you have been used - unfortunately by someone in the family who you should have been able to trust. I think that you will probably feel that life is at an end for you now and that you are not worth anything to any other man, but believe me, not all men feel this way or follow in this custom. Wait until you are old enough to move into a place of your own, get to know new people in school or university, and hold your head up with self-respect even if this means leaving your country and going to study elsewhere. Then you will see how many young men will be interested in you and proud to be in public with you and not use their family as an excuse to avoid you. They will love you for the person you are, not just for an object to play with. But this will only happen if you start respecting yourself and work toward independence - and stop thinking about marriage with this user of women. Several years down the road you will see him with a family that he did not choose, but was forced to accept, and he will be very unhappy, as he deserves to be since he treated another human being as a toy. Remember, no matter what culture, or heritage, treating someone bad will always be paid back. Just because you both have the same culture this does not give him the right to use you the way he did. In most European countries and in the U.S., his treatment could also well be considered abuse of the worst kind. Consider the consequence he must live with, and go on with your life. You need to realize that you too can have a fulfilled life without feeling like 'used goods' so please collect your self-respect. Also talk to someone outside of your family to be reassured that you did nothing wrong to endorse his actions. You were young and in love, what's his excuse except for being a pervert. You don't say much, but this is what I read in your short verses. Remember, when you are down this far, there is no other way but UP!

Thanks Chery
I'm very thankful to you...