[beebeebee]

Hello there,
I have been dating this guy not for long time now. From the beginning while we were having sex he mentioned his sexual fantasies to me. He wanted to have another women joining us. I asked me why not him with two other women not me being involved. Anyhow, a few days ago he mentioned this again. He said he really want to try it only ones. I don't know what to do. I have never done and this has been a big pressure on me for sometime now.
He is a wonderful guy and I can picture myself with him in the future as a couple. I want him also to be happy, yet I find it difficult myself to try this kind of sex involving others.

{moved from Introductions. Please read the instructions, the Intro forum is NOT for asking questions-<>}

[Synnen]

Don't do it.

You sound like you'd be doing it for HIM, as a favor. Not because YOU would like to do it.

We should NEVER be pressured to do something we are not comfortable with, especially in the bedroom.

Tell this guy that your answer is "No", that it's not going to change, and that you'd like to not hear about it again. Let him know too, that this is HIS fantasy, and while you have no problem with him fantasizing about whatever, you don't want to hear about it.

If he can't live with that, then there are better guys out there.

[kp2171]

Its fine its his fantasy. Its fine you are not OK with it. In the end, you shouldn't do it if guilt is the only reason.

For ex... I dated a girl who loved anal sex. Next girl, when asked if she was interested, was absolutely not. Now... the fantasy and desire still existed, but that was that... I asked a few times and when it was clear that she just was not interested, the asking stopped without whining.

Ask most guys if theyd like to experience two women at one time, theyd say yes if they had no reason to cover up or lie. Its not just the standard bad porn script...

Why is oral sex great? Because the other person is focusing all their attention on you. Its all about you. Well... same thing with the threesome fetish. It's a fantasy involving multiple stimulations from many angles, not to mention the satisfaction of the "taboo factor"...

Why is sex in an elevator, office, or other public place a turn on? Why is forbidden sex so erotic?

Its just as much about emotional stimulation and physical.

So... don't punish him for having the fantasy. But do not feel pressured into a sexual act that you don't feel right about. There have been women here who have posted, after doing this, and its been devastating to some relationships.

So... the fantasy and even the request isn't necessarily a bad thing. But he should also respect your position. And once he knows it, he cannot hold it over you... he cannot whine about it or keep bringing it up. Or at least you should not let him do that.

It isn't about you not being enough. I think men are wired to seek out multiple sex partners and its only though good intentions and social pressures that we tame that desire. But, again, at some point your position needs to be respected.

[lindsayminar]

It will ruin your relationship!!

Imagine your boyfriend kissing another girl, touching her breast and vagina, How does that make you feel?? BAD BAD BAD BAD IDEA

[talaniman]

Pressuring you to do something you don't want to do is selfish and manipulative. Tell him NO and stick to your guns.

[Bug13]

Whenever I have had someone suggest the idea of a threesome this is what I say:
I don't share when I'm naked!

I have enough issues with the idea of sharing my boyfriend when all parties involved are fully clothed- so it's out of the question once either of us get naked!