Will he ever want to?

Wondergirl · Dec 17, 2007, 12:02 AM

Well, you've been acting like a little kid with him. Probably why he calls you that.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

any more Two words in this instance.

your sure will work should be you're sure will work - you're = you are

Your writing is improving already! Wow!

Well, I have dated many guys and it always worked back during the time of dinosaurs when I was your age. The trick is that you have to do things exactly as I tell you. I am not sure if you can handle that.

Why would can't I be able to? How bad could it possibly be? I suppose it couldn't be as bad J and I never talking again, Right?

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 12:03 AM

Can I share with you a poem that I wrote about a week ago?

Wondergirl · Dec 17, 2007, 12:05 AM

I'm not sure you would be strong enough to follow directions exactly. It's easy enough but not your usual way of doing things. It probably wouldn't work because you would forget and go back to your usual way.

But then, like you say, what do you have to lose?

Wondergirl · Dec 17, 2007, 12:06 AM

Sure, share away. Then I have to leave to go to bed. I work tomorrow and my electric blanket is calling me.

simoneaugie · Dec 17, 2007, 12:12 AM

I focused in on the part where you talked about praying. Prayer works. It doesn't work too well when you ask for something for yourself though. You have to let it go, if only for a while. Think about all the wonderful things you would like him to have and be. Ask that those be given to him. You love him. That's acting like it. Then, forget all about it and do nice things for other friends or family members. When you start thinking about it again, pray for him again.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 12:13 AM

I'm trying to find my way out of this place I'm in,
The walls are getting thicker,
I'm falling deeper,
It's how I feel about you,
I can't escape it.
I can't explain it.
I can't erace it.
All I know is:
Everyday I try finding a way to get by
Everyday I cry, wondering if we will always be together,
And everyday I wonder why it hurts me so much to love you like I do.
But I try making things better,
I try not to cry,
Days go by and it gets harder,
Because none of it matters,
It's to late to go back.
I'm sorry for any wrong Iv'e done.
I just want you forever
I want things between us to get better.
I think you love me,
I know I love you,
So, Why can't we be happy and forget what all we out each other through?

Sorry, I know I probably didn't type that so well. I'm not good with the poems.

Why do you think that wouldn't work?

Wondergirl · Dec 17, 2007, 12:17 AM

The poem is good, but depressing, but then I guess love poetry is often depressing.

Do you think you could follow my directions? I would be very clear. You couldn't do your own thing, only my way. Think about it.

I'm off and headed for bed.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 12:23 AM

Two friday's ago, he wrote me a note and this is what it said:

I guess I do have sentimental feelings. I just don't show them like you. I felt sad when you told other boys you loved them. And I feel bad about leaving you. You think this is a test, it never was a test. You seem intenet on Tyler. Talk to him or date him, but don't ask me to help you. I won't get in your way, and I won't have any part of it. Leave me out of your life, and I'll leave you out of mine. Wev'e been together for a long time. Lots of lies, empty promises, hurt feelings. If it hasn't worked out yet, it never will.
Good luck with Tyler, I hope it all works out. As for me, I'll wait for a girl who isn't afraid to talk to me in class. Who will always try to be close to me, and isn't afraid to show her feelings. And she has to be sane and honsest. Only then, will I change myself. And if she never comes, then I'll remain alone. But at least I'll never be hurt again.

Unsincerly not yours

P.S. - I will not protect you from other people and their insults

I typed this exactly as he wrote it. If there are any misspelled words or anything, that's how he wrote it too.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 12:25 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The poem is good, but depressing, but then I guess love poetry is often depressing.

Do you think you could follow my directions? I would be very clear. You couldn't do your own thing, only my way. Think about it.

I'm off and headed for bed.

It all depends on what it is I guess, but I am too afraid to have to face him tomorrow at school so I'm thinking about staying home.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 02:37 PM

UPDATE...
Today at school, we did not talk at all. I didn't even look at him. He kept talking to this other girl in a class we have together. He's been talking to her kind of a lot lately. Most of the time they just argue and keep telling each other how much they hate each other but it sounds more like they are just joking around. I don't know whether I should be worried about it or not. I wouldn't be but he's talking to her way too much and he doesn't talk to me at all. Did I mention my mom said, he'll probably come back in a day or 2 and she thinks that he is just playing games again? When he was talking that girl, I wanted to get up and push her out of her desk and just stand on her face and jump around then twist her head off and pick her up by her arms and swing her around in the air and let go and let her go flying through the window or into the wall. As if that isn't bad enough, this morning was so bad. I can't even talk about it though.

spartan24018 · Dec 17, 2007, 03:33 PM

Let it be, just let things be. Give yourself some attention, you're the most important person that you should be caring about, not him.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 10:46 PM

Watch. Now, Wondergirl's no longer going to come here just so I can never get him back.

beth911 · Dec 17, 2007, 10:54 PM

Should I start talking to his friend? Maybe if I do, I will fall in love with him and forget about J. Then again, that probably won't happen. I could never do that. Its' just that I know it's only a matter of time before he finds someone else. Then I will just be hurt more. But I don't want to hurt him any more. I only want him though and I guess I can't have him. These last couple days, my life has changed so much. I think this is how it feels to know that it's only a matter of time before you end up killing yourself. I know in another year, I WILL be dead. Their's no doubt about it. Maybe even in another week. I just know. I feel like I'm already dead. I can't do anything. All I do is sit and stare, wondering how much longer I will be miserable and when this will all end. Then last night, I can't remember my exact dream but I do know that I was dreaming of him because I woke up thinking to myself 'too bad this dream will never come true.' In that dream it was like everything was how it was before things got bad and when we could talk to each other. I had everything I could ever want and lost it all.

beth911 · Dec 18, 2007, 05:18 PM

WONDERGIRL, I NEED your help ASAP. The school called my house and told my parents that we broke up for good and that I was going to kill myself. He keeps talking to other people and it's like he already forgot me. It kills me that he could even want this and be okay about it.

Wondergirl · Dec 18, 2007, 09:14 PM

I'm here - home from work.

beth911 · Dec 18, 2007, 09:20 PM

Finally. I need you to help me. Please.

Wondergirl · Dec 18, 2007, 09:23 PM

You want to go to email, or talk here?

Someone else might have helpful things to add on this thread.

beth911 · Dec 18, 2007, 09:24 PM

I'm really tired and I won't be awake much longer but I don't want to go another day like this. I can't stand not talking to him. It's kind of like I want to go up to him and say something but I won't because I won't because I don't know what to say and I know if I tried talking to him he would tell me to leave him alone or something.
When I type, it keeps jumping around all the time, so if there are random words in here that's why.

beth911 · Dec 18, 2007, 09:25 PM

It doesn't matter to me.

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