[taoplr]

He's got to learn that in order to be in a relationship, he has to communicate. He might not like it, but that's reality, not just with you, but with the world in general. It sounds like he has two diseases of young men:

1. Strong fear that he will discover that he is not that smart if he engages others in an exchange of ideas
2. Intolerance for listening; it feels like a weakness to pre-adult males.

Since you need affection and communication, teach him by example. Since he gets angry, you have to learn how to manage that. You can get him to stop. Take your time and teach him slowly. But teach him!

[I wish]

This is most likely your first serious relationship, considering that you are only 18 and you've been together for 4 years. Most people in their first serious relationship cannot see the signs of when it might be time to call it quits. There are quite a few red flags in your situation. Here are just a few that I can see:

1) "He is just not a people person and thinks he is the best and smartest person in the world." -- Who cares what other people think of him, as long as you don't see it that way? But it definitely seems like it bothers you.

2) "He is not what would be considered a loving person and doesnt want to have kids or get married." -- I'm guessing that you want a loving person who will consider having children and possibly getting married one day? Already, you have different values.

3) "He is not the type to kisss od hug and because of this i feel so hurt." -- Why don't you look for a more affectionate person to be with. This guy clearly isn't your type.

4) "He expects me to be like him." -- What kind of attitude is that? Sounds controlling/needy. He cannot tell you what to do. You are your own person.

5) "Its like he does love me but he is just too afraid to show that he cares about me or he doesnt know how some how." -- After 4 years, if he still can't understand you, then there are serious communication issues.

6) I have been waiting so long for them to have this talk and it still hasn't happeneed and I am too afriad to bring it up to her for some reason." -- You can't say that you haven't given this relationship a chance. You've waited and there is no progress.

Why continue to torture yourself. You've had some great times. Don't be scared that you can't find anyone else. Just look at this post, I just pointed out at least 6 things/qualities that you would prefer in a guy. I'm sure you will find someone who will live up to at least some of these standards. I know that you have a lot of history, but that's all in the past now. Now that you have a clearer picture of what you want, it's time to learn from this experience, grow as a person, accept this reality and move on with your life.

[liz28]

First off you never get other people involve in your relationship. There is a difference between talking to your boyfriend mother but talking her about the problems in your relationship and expecting her to fix them are a big no no. If your afraid to talk to your boyfriend about your problems then you shouldn't be what him.

Then you wrote, "your boyfriend expects for you to like him"--what? If you don't like him then you don't have to be with him.

Some how I think your staying with your boyfriend out of pity and dragging out a much needed break-up due to him being a loner. He sounds like he might have issues that were there before you enter the picture.

He thinks he is smarter/better than anyone else but is antisocial and can't even express himself clearly to you. He doesn't want to get married nor have kids but he plan on being with you for a long time--what?

You can't teach this guy nothing and how long do you plan on staying trying to teach him? You tried time after time to get him to open up and talk but he didn't and still don't. So your next move is up to you.

Btw, if your boyfriend gets mad at you you don't have to learn to manage his anger nor accept it. He needs to learn to manage his own anger. Never take any unnecessary crap from a guy.

I don't see this relationship working.

[ZoeMarie]

You're too young to settle. Please don't settle. You'll only regret it. You have your whole life ahead of you. Tell him everything that's bothering you. It sounds like you two have a lot to talk about.

[Romefalls19]

If you two have different paths you wish to travel, which it seems you do, it's best to end things now. You seem to want a stable family life somewhere down the line, while he doesn't and has said it. You have to know where the line ends for what you are willing to sacrifice for him

[talaniman]

Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

You have not taken any advice from before and now your back asking how to fix things again with this fellow.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ip-163044.html

How soon you forget.

[Gemini54]

My question is, what do you get from this relationship that makes you stay in it?

You don't get the love and affection that you crave, so what's in it for you?

I understand that you're young and it's possibly your first relationship, but what you need to understand is that you can't change other people, you can only change yourself.

He won't change unless he thinks that there is something in it for him. You need to talk to him about the changes you'd like to see, not wait for someone else to do it.

If you can't talk to him about what's happening in your relationship, what's the point of having one?