[Emm Lura]

I work for a third party cell phone company that has kiosks in random truck stops. My area manager just promoted me to sales manager from senior sales representative. I'm really worried because I really love my coworkers but I'm afraid they aren't going to like me anymore. I mean, I really clicked with this girl that was working here, which is weird because I really don't get along with most girls. She was a real sweetheart though but it kind of messed up the schedule because she couldn't work weeknights because she going to high school at night. Well anyway, I had to work every night during the week and I HATE second shift! Also, her numbers weren't very good. Well she sent me a text message one day saying that she was so stressed out that she was going to quit. I asked her if that was really what she wanted to do and she said no that she can't. Well I was trying to give her a heads up and let her know that she might want to start looking for a new job anyway. I was only doing this because I was positive that my area manager was going to fire her in a few days. Well she got pissed and she walked out leaving the store empty and I had to come in a few hours early and work late to get the store some points. I was only trying to help her out because I know what it is like to not have a job and be looking for one for so long.

Now I don't want my other coworkers to hate me but I don't want them to walk all over me either. Now I know how to show some back bone but sometimes I feel like a total B***H. How do you draw the line between being too nice and too mean?

[charlotte234s]

Don't be rude or punish people when they don't deserve it, and they have no right to hate you. And if they don't respect your position as the manager and recognize that they need to be disciplined or whatever when they do something wrong, that's their fault.

[shygrneyzs]

One thing you will learn in a quick hurry is being buddies with your employees does not mix well. You cannot be a peer any longer. The relationship changes. You have employment policies - follow them. Don't waiver for one employee if you are not prepared to wavier for all. What a mess that will create! You don't need them to like you as much as you need them to respect you. Honest. They can respect when they understand you are fair, listening, understanding, but also are going to reinforce your companies rules and regulations. Hope you got some basic HR training with the promotion. You stick with the directives you are given. It would also not hurt for you to journal. I tell that to many people. I say that because if anything would ever happen, you have it recorded. Dates, times, people, what was said, what you were told to do and by whom, etc. You never know when such a document can be used to back you up.

Congratulations on the promotion and the best of all to you.

[Emm Lura]

Thank you both. I just needed that to let me know what I need to do. My area manager says, "Emily, these people aren't your friends." I think I know what he means now. I think they may be acting like they are my friends so they can take advantage of me. I've known for a little while that he may be promoting me and so have they. The first time he asked, I declined because I was under way too much stress and because I was worried that I would have one of my bipolar mood swings on them and it would be uncalled for. Now I have my mood under control (thanks to lamictal of course ha ha) and I'm not under near as much stress as I was. I think I'll be a great leader and motivater to these employees and if not, at least I can say I tried.

Thanks again.

[shygrneyzs]

Good luck to you. Just keep your focus. Hugssss.

[peggyhill]

I'm sure you will be a great boss and congrats on your promotion! If you knew ahead of time, these people could have too. I've been in your shoes before, and it can be hard when people you once really liked are mean because you are doing your job. Remember that if they are only nice when they want something, and are mean when you give them constructive criticism, they aren't really your friends. Do what you have to do as a boss. The people knew what was expected of them when they joined the company. If they are unable to meet the requirements, don't feel bad if you have to let them go. Business is business. Good luck!

[jcmanna]

I work for a third party cell phone company that has kiosks in random truck stops. My area manager just promoted me to sales manager from senior sales representative. I'm really worried because I really love my coworkers but I'm afraid they aren't going to like me anymore. I mean, I really clicked with this girl that was working here, which is weird because I really don't get along with most girls. She was a real sweetheart though but it kind of messed up the schedule because she couldn't work weeknights because she going to high school at night. Well anyway, I had to work every night during the week and I HATE second shift! Also, her numbers weren't very good. Well she sent me a text message one day saying that she was so stressed out that she was going to quit. I asked her if that was really what she wanted to do and she said no that she can't. Well I was trying to give her a heads up and let her know that she might want to start looking for a new job anyway. I was only doing this because I was positive that my area manager was going to fire her in a few days. Well she got pissed and she walked out leaving the store empty and I had to come in a few hours early and work late to get the store some points. I was only trying to help her out because I know what it is like to not have a job and be looking for one for so long.

Now I don't want my other coworkers to hate me but I don't want them to walk all over me either. Now I know how to show some back bone but sometimes I feel like a total B***H. How do you draw the line between being too nice and too mean?

Set clear expectations on what is expected out of your employees. Reward success and handle negative situations with positive possibilities and alternatives that they could've made to make the situation better!