[MOMOF3SWEETHEARTS]

Me and my husband met and the army and were married in the army we moved to Missouri near his family when we got out well my family is in louisian I have told him over the 3 years of being here I was unhappy here I don't like being so far from my family he has told me he would move to Louisiana he has even signed a lease there with me once and at the last min his mom gives a gulit trio about moving the kids away and then what I want has no meanting he listens to her and stays well back in April we got in a agruement about it and he was arrested for assult charges while I was pregneat with our newest one I did not file charges because he did not hit me he was angry and pished me but when the cops were call he was arrest we have been seeing a marriage consuler for a few months now and we have gotten to a point were we are stuck he says he will think about moving to the cosuler who thinks moving to a netural are would be a good idea for our marriage some were in between the two familys and the he told him he would go I we found jobs that paid equal are more found a home and daycare wich I found all and now he tells the consuler no he don't want to do it because he feels as if he is being told what to do okalhoma is 6 hours from my family and 5 from his ,y question is the marriage consuler asked him if I left a moved because I was unhappy here would he follow me to oklhoma or would he file for a divorce he said he would follow me and the kids to there I don't want a divorece I just want out of missour the consuler told me that I could not get in to trouble for kidnapping charges if there was no divorce in process is this true if I was to move and in hopes my husband would live his controlling mother would I get in to trouble and what steps should I take to make sure I don't get in to trouble I love my kids and I love my husband I just can't stay here any more please help I don't know what to do we have been married 5 years now and have never spent a holiday with my family I see them once a year on my birthday because every time I want to take them there for a holiday his mom argues they need to be hear near there family not thinking that my family is there's too I have a 3 year old son and a one year old daughter and a 3 month old son

[ScottGem]

OK, no you can't be charged with kidnapping. BUT there are some issues here. If you move and he disagrees with it then he can file for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. He can then file for custody and visitation.

If you divorce or separate FIRST and the agreement includes visitation then you would need to get permission to move.

Frankly, this momma's boy needs to get a backbone. You are entitled to spend some holidays with your family. The doting grandma needs to lighten up.

[Megg]

I'd have a little chat with grams. First off, she has NO say in what YOU do with YOUR kids. Tell you hunny that you have a family. That your family loves your children too, and that its possible to have a huge loving family. Ask his gram how she'd feel if she only saw her grandkids once a yr. Would she like that? FRANKLY she doesn't deserve to see them... but that's what I think. Honestly though, try to tell them you love them and your family. What are you? A prisonr in your own marriage? Help yourself. If he can't understand this, then get a divorce. You need to find a man who understands the IMPORTANCE of family. Who cares for YOUR feelings. Trust me... those men are hard to come by.. but if you don't rush you will find it. Good luck. Keep us posted.

[MOMOF3SWEETHEARTS]

Thank you for says that I just feel as if I were to take off I would be in the wrong and feel bad I don't want to take the kids from him and he is a great dad and I love him I just know and so does the marriage consuler that if we were to move away from his mom our marriage would be a lot better off I would never keep her from seeing my kids the way she has my mom as soon as I know for sure that I won't get in any trouble and I have everything to gather I am going to try to get the guts up and move to Oklahoma that's the half way point between my family and his and I hope he will follow thanks what would happen if I got him to go there look around and he willing signed a lease and then we came back to get our stuff and then he changed his mind with his signature on that lease could I use that as proff that he was willing to let me and the kids move there and the I could not get in trouble for abandoment of our marriage oh and the state we live in now Missouri is a no fault state does that matter

[ScottGem]

You would NOT be in the wrong. You've gone for counseling, offered compromises etc. They are the ones in the wrong for not paying attention to your needs.