[johnjohn1971]

I need some advice. I have been dating this guy, and find that I am more easily in love, than I am in "like" with him. I shared my feelings last night, and the response was not good.

I sent this to him so that he could better understand what I meant when I said I didn't like him:

The word love means feeling your heart beat faster for someone, and the word like means feeling your heart smile. My heart races when I am with you, but often forgets to smile. How can a heart not smile when it is beating for someone? For the frown on my heart is not born out of dislike, but rather from not being able to share my racing heart with the person it accelerates for.

He did not like that I don't "like" him. In all honesty, I enjoy the time when I am with him, but he is not a likeable person. He is not available, doesn't communicate well, and generally does not pay attention to me or my needs.

I know what I have to do, in fact he broke up with me last night. My question is this... everything I see is about growing from like to love. But what about the possibility of learning to like someone, after your heart began beating for them?

Has anyone else out there fallen in love with someone you didn't like?

[letmeno]

I don't believe that I have ever fallen in love with someone that I personally did not like. Could it be that you have fallen in love with the idea of being in love or have you fallen in love with the time that you two share together, or fallen in love with the idea that someone may have fallen in love with you? Maybe the infatuation is more about what is going on and not about him personally...

[fredg]

Hi,
I agree with the other answer about liking someone before you really begin to love them. "Liking" someone means you like what they say, how they feel, how they act, and want them as a friend. "Love" is much, much deeper, and usually takes some time after "liking" someone.
I, too, think you are infatuated with the idea of being in love, but don't you think it's really hard to "love" someone who treats you as thought you aren't even there?
When you find someone who respects you, cares about you to the point they are interested in what you say, how you feel, what they can do to help you with anything, and likes to actually listen to what you say, and if you feel the same way about him, then you will find out what "love" really is!
It also involves being honest, being yourself, and not afraid of saying what is on your mind; with respect for both.
I do sincerely wish you happiness, and eventually, you will find this kind of person.

[Tony2005]

I believe it is possible to love somebody whom you dislike or do not like. It happens quite often but we tend to acknowledge the feeling of not liking the person instead of loving that person. In your case, you are loving him for a reason you aren't clear but you are surely know that you have certain reasons for not liking him. Does this suggest you something ? Of course it does. It means your love is more of an infactuation or a crush. It isn't love at all. Its just a enthusiastic attraction towards him.
I think you need not worry about him. Its just an infactuation with him if not liking. We often get to know film stories where the lovers were initially hating each other until they fall in love. But, in your case, I doubt you will fall in love after knowing the reason why you do not like him.
Anyway, I guess you should move on and be certain that you will get attracted to somebody soon if not fall in love.

[talaniman]

Maybe you need to honestly examine you feelings for this guy and why you don't like him.It probably has nothing to do with him I suspect, but you should not lead him on if you yourself don't know exactly how you feel.Look at it from his veiw and see how you would feel if someone who says " I love you" turns around and says I don't like you ,would you think he's some sort of nut playing with your feelings?Try to sort out your feelings before you do anything else :cool: