[applehead2007]

My boyfriend broke up with me. We were together 4 years. I think he checked out of the relationship a while before we broke up. A lot of it is my fault -- I kept pushing him away because I felt pressure to commit and I was not sure about it at the time. I never really dated much before we got together. Also, I was not very assertive during the relationship, and by the end I was exploding about things that had built up over time. So I AM working on addressing those issues, and I told him that, but he still has no desire to get back together.

I am 99% sure he is already involved in another relationship after only 2 months apart. I think he met someone prior to our breakup or shortly thereafter. The way he is behaving and just knowing his personality tells me that he is pursuing a relationship already. He called me the other day because he said he "had a bad dream" about me and he was worried about how I was doing. Of course, I told him I was fine but I missed him, he said he misses me but not to expect us to get back together.

I am probably just desperate for some encouragement here, but I know that the chances of us getting back together are not good. I really love this man and I just needed to grow up. I am 27 and he is 36. We also live 1000 miles apart now because I moved back home when we broke up. He insisted. Is this a rebound relationship he is having or what?? Is there any chance of me doing anything to show him I have changed? Should I just cut him out of my life? Should I take him off my MySpace page, or is that too low? Bottom line, I am trying to move on out here but I want him back still.:(

[thisisjo]

I think lads do hit the rebound more than women. Its as if it's a pride thing. Think how good it looks to there mates to let them see that they have come out of a relationship with one person and they can get someone else straight away. It makes him look good. He's prob not doing it on purpose . Boys hurt but they sont talk about there feelings so much. They just look for a quick fix. I broke up with my boyf of 2 years 5 weeks ago and I have been talking to all of my friends and family about it to the point where its boring me and I have been exploring every single explanation possible reasons for what went wrong. And how it could be better. But my brother was saying that when he broke up with his girlfriend he was really bothered about it he just didn't show it and I think that's what lads are like. While he knows that you are still available for him he is not going to be in any rush to take you back because he probably figures. I will bide my time and see what happens. I might be totally wrong I mean obviously I don't know all about it but I have worked out that boys work in a really weird way. Plus I reacon in fact I can almost guarantee that the girl you think he is rebounding with is less attractive than you. My reason for saying that is. I would expect him didn't waste much time to find a quickk fix and found any old person falsely attractive and whatever. I hope all this makes sense. I hope it helps. Obviously I'm not saying you will get back together .I don't know if you can relate to this but I get so frustrated because I tell him about how I have realised all the problems in our relationship and know what I want in our relatioshp and want to make it better but when they don't give you the chance to try it out it is so frustrating. I broke up with my ex once before (its mainly because we have been together since our teens)i think sometimes he thinks he is missing out and then afetr weeks and weeks of chasing him I finally laid off abit. He hated it and we eventually got back together. It was amazing but we never faced or confronted any of the issues we had in the passed so they just surfaced again. I have leart my lesson now and if I was to be with him again would confront all problems head on and really work at it. My point is if you want to be with him and if you do get back together. Learn from my mistakes and sort your problems out. Let me know if this post has helped. Good luck, chin up.

[peggyhill]

Sweetie, it sounds like this guy HAS moved on. I totally understand how you feel right now; I've been there myself. The good thing is that he still cares about you (at least it seems that way if he called you about the bad dream). I wouldn't read too much into the phone call. Just the other day, my fiancée had a nightmare about a friend of his, and he wouldn't rest until he had called to see if the guy was OK. It sounds like he cares about you, but isn't in love with you. If everything you see is telling you he has moved on, he probably has. Even if he hasn't, the chances of you and him having a relationship again are very slim, considering that you have moved so far away. You need to focus on you right now. You said that you left a lot of things unsaid, etc. Think of it this way: you know what you did wrong in this relationship. So learn from your mistakes, and try not to make the same ones the next time you are in a relationship. As to whether he was seeing someone else before you broke up, you have no way of knowing. So, put it out of your mind, since you aren't going to be with this guy anyway. Until you are ready for another relationship, try to keep busy. Go out with friends, watch funny movies, whatever makes you feel better. Leave him on your myspace page if you want. Are you still on his? If it upsets you to see him on there, then take him off. Either way, you have to try to move on, and I promise that, as time goes by, you will start to feel better. In some cases, time is the only thing that helps. Good luck! :) Hang in there!

[applehead2007]

Thank you SO MUCH!! I really understand where you are coming from! When he called the other day, I (unfortunately) confessed that I had stopped dating for a while because I needed to put things into perspective. But after he called and basically said don't expect any changes, I contacted one guy I had gone on a couple dates with when we first broke up. (I was trying to rebound, but I wised up and stopped dating). Anyway, I am trying to just move forward, even if it is only an act right now.

Honestly, it is kind of silly, but I was wondering if I should remove him as a friend from my myspace page? I guess I should leave him on,, he rarely logs on the site anyway. I just worry he will remove me because of the new chick he is dating, but I don't want to seem childish by deleting him. What do you think??

[miny03]

My boyfriend broke up with me. We were together 4 years. I think he checked out of the relationship a while before we broke up. A lot of it is my fault -- I kept pushing him away because I felt pressure to commit and I was not sure about it at the time. I never really dated much before we got together. Also, I was not very assertive during the relationship, and by the end I was exploding about things that had built up over time. So I AM working on addressing those issues, and I told him that, but he still has no desire to get back together.

I am 99% sure he is already involved in another relationship after only 2 months apart. I think he met someone prior to our breakup or shortly thereafter. The way he is behaving and just knowing his personality tells me that he is pursuing a relationship already. He called me the other day because he said he "had a bad dream" about me and he was worried about how I was doing. Of course, I told him I was fine but I missed him, he said he misses me but not to expect us to get back together.

I am probably just desperate for some encouragement here, but I know that the chances of us getting back together are not good. I really love this man and I just needed to grow up. I am 27 and he is 36. We also live 1000 miles apart now because I moved back home when we broke up. He insisted. Is this a rebound relationship he is having or what??? Is there any chance of me doing anything to show him I have changed? Should I just cut him out of my life? Should I take him off my MySpace page, or is that too low? Bottom line, I am trying to move on out here but I want him back still.:(

We use to them 2 give thanks for everything for us