[RubyPitbull]

The Ant and The Grasshopper (old and new)

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
Building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
Plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
His house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
Plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
Demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
While others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
Shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
Table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
Cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
Where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse
Then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
Sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
That the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
Call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
Retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
Bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home
Is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
Defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
Of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of
Single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
Of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
Happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
Maintain it.

The ant has disappeared into the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
House, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
Once peaceful neighborhood.


MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.

[firmbeliever]

Love the updated version... ;)

[CaptainRich]

Fairly accurate!
And funny, too!

[RubyPitbull]

Someone sent it to me in an email. I thought it was very funny too and thought I would share it here. I am waiting for excon to weigh in and stomp his feet in feigned outrage. ;)

[ETWolverine]

LOL.

Wonderful and very accurate.

Elliot

[shygrneyzs]

Loved it, Ruby. That is exactly how it is now.

[Dark_crow]

Grasshopper says: Just what do you think you're doing?
Moron says: What?
Moron says: What? Grasshopper says: That's my stuff.
Moron says: No it isn't, it was just lying around.
For the sake of brevity, I will not go into the hour long argument that ensued. Suffice it to say that Grasshopper made it clear that Moron would never escape from the room unless he either dropped his ill gotten goods, or quit.
Apparently Moron was a particularly stubborn one, but he finally gave into the hopelessness of his self-imposed plight and quit, at which point Grasshopper immediately recovered his hijacked goods. Not surprisingly, this was not the end of Moron and he begun whining to anyone who would listen, and most likely many who would prefer not to have.
The moral of the story? I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps it is that most situations can be resolved without violence. But I prefer to think of it as this: While it's impossible to avoid Moron's completely, it's a lot of fun when you finally get to pay them back for lowering mankind's average Intelligence Quotient.