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ralitza · Oct 23, 2007, 06:22 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm 18 years old and I'm engaged to be married at the end of this year. I have been togher with my fiancée for 1 year, however we have been long distance for most of the time. Im in Canada where he lives in Bulgaria. He is 3 years older than me and since I'm starting university and cannot go back home the only way for him to come to canada is if we got married. We trully love each other. In this year we have been through a lot (eventhough some people say that our relationship isn't like a normal one we would spend every free second that we had on the phone. On average we would talk 13 000 min a month and maybe more). My parents do not support my decision, where as his support us getting married so young. I was just wondering what other people think and if any one has gotten married this young what they have faced. And do you think that it is really true about what people say that if people get married young their marriage is doomed to fail.

ScottGem · Oct 23, 2007, 07:40 PM

I think he's using you to get out of his country.

Saby2284 · Oct 23, 2007, 08:01 PM

I think if you both can handle Marriege then do so.. But Don't get married just so he can be in canada with you. Marriege is not the sample its hard very hard Once u Live with that Person you are looking at a whole different person.. Not just knowing him on the phone. And just by living with the person is hard. And I also Think you should Really Think about weather or not you really know all about him and he knows all about you.. A year knowing him is Pretty Short Time To know a Person but just Follow your heart and not Your Thoughts your Thoughts Gives u Fairytales and Lies.. Just Really Think about it you have a year so your have time to think.. I really hope I helped u.. Good Luck ! Bye Bye

donf · Oct 24, 2007, 05:43 AM

Ralitza,

I married at 18. My wife and I have been together 42 years. However we were both 18 when we married and lived in adjoining cities while I courted her for a year. At the actual time we married, I lived in the Bronx, NY and she was stationed at Camp Henderson, VA. Just outside Washington DC. She was in the US Marine Corps.

The first four and or so years were a nightmare. Just learning to live together and to fight fair were major problems. The hardest problem for me was understanding the my wife ha a brain of her own. That she was and is now a very capable person.

We have never regretted getting married, but we both agree we would have been better off waiting to we were a more mature couple.

However, we were blessed by the arrival of our son when we turned 22. That gave us the four years to grow up in.

We did not have the problem of being apart on different countries. Our cultural background were almost identical. In fact both of our mothers worked side by side at New Rochelle Hospital as telephone operators.

You young lady are not so fortunate. Your intended is from a land embroiled in a lifetime of war. You are in Canada. You don't have that to contend with. I can immeaditaly see the wisdom in Scott's words to you and if you were my daughter or even Granddaughter, I would offer you the same advice. Regardless of what he says to you right now, it could be just an act to get out of the country. Please be very careful with your life.

I cannot believe that any parent would want their child to suffer the pain of a bad marriage. I have a Nice stuck in one now and at present she has no way out, unless she files for divorce and she is not willing to take that step yet.

Good luck and please consider that if you marry at 18 you may be heading for trouble. We got into plenty, but in the long run, it worked out fine for us.

Dennis777 · Oct 24, 2007, 10:24 AM

Hello.

Even under the best conditions being married at 18 is hard, your starting with the worst conditions so the chances of you making it are slim to none. I know your saying that I don't know you and how much your in Love with him. Stop and honestly think about a few things.

1. The way of life in his country is much different then yours, how much do you know about the role a wife plays in his way of life.

2. What does he do for a living and can he find a job to support you.

3. How do you plan on finishing school if you get together. You know that for your security you need to be educated and able to support yourself and your kids.

Please open your eyes and think it over before you jump into this.

Dennis777

ber721 · Oct 26, 2007, 08:20 PM

Hi, I got married right after I turned 17 and he was 2 1/2 years older. We lived in to different towns and only dated for 6 months before we got married and of that time I only got to see him every weekend. We had nothing when we stared and have had a lot of obstacles to over come and are currently fighting a battle right now. But there is not any time I regret marring so young or marring him. I to this day love him very much.