[trouble_0_2]

My boyfriend has recently gone off to uni, I'm stuck here without him. Recently he cheated on me and I don't no what to do I love him and I want to be with him, but he thinks its best to break up as he wants to experience other girlfriends. I was his first love and he was mine. Neither of us have ever slept with anyone else.
Since the relationship has got serious I have been ignoring my friends, and they are getting bored of keep asking me to go out and me saying no. all I want to do is be with him and nothing else makes me happy.
Before he wanted to break up we were planning to get engaged even though I'm only 16 and he is 18. Please help me, I have been cutting myself seriously and I have been losing a lot of weight, I don't take care of myslef anymore like I used to. I was thinking about dropping out of college to go and visit him.
Please help me soon, as I feel I cannot go on and have no one to turn to. :confused:

[NeedKarma]

You're only 16, people break up and that's part of life - get over it. No one intelligent gets engaged at 16. One of your first mistakes was ignoring your friends. Your boyfriend should part of your social life.

Go out with your friends and have fun.

[christymoro]

Look there are plenty of boys out there willing to be nice to you I am a 19 year old fella and everyone at some stage gets their heart broke!thinking about what could be and saying that he is the one for you is not right because you have still to experience a lot more like maybe moving away from home going to college meeting a lot more new people. Just make new friends apologise to old ones and you'll see who the good ones are when you need them! Live your life without worrying about this fella keep in touch with him but try meeting other boys and just being happy about yourself! :D

[momincali]

Hi trouble- 1.) Stop cutting yourself, you'll hate the scars it will leave you! 2.) This boy and his leaving should not signify the end of your life, but a new chapter. YOU ARE 16, HELLO?? When you're an old lady of 26, married with a baby on the way from a wonderful, loving, compassionate, caring man, you won't even remember this guy's name. Trust me. Get your focus back into school and keep yourself busy. Join the track team, swimming team, whatever interest you, as long as it has exercise in it. Dedicate yourself to it and becoming the best at it. You'll soon see that there is more to life then boys. God gave you life, he didn't give you the right to take it. Will you waste it on feeling sorry for yourself or will you fill your life with accomplishments and take opportunities to help yourself and others so that in 10 years you can look back and be proud. Close your eyes for a minute and imagine that you are watching a movie on t.v. This movie is about a girl who is messing up her life, not wanting to go on because of a boy who is no longer around. She is in a small room and she keeps bumping her head on the wall. You see her take a step and throw herself on the floor. You see her crying and feeling lonely and scared. There are books and a sofa and lots of things she can do in the room but all she wants to do is pout and cry and hurt herself. She does it all day and all night. You'd think she would eventually get tired of doing that and she is but she wants to continue using her last bit of strength to hurt herself. You as the movie watcher, know that there is a door in that room and behind that door, there is a whole world of people and good and exciting things that are waiting for her. These people are all calling her name but she is crying so loud she can't hear them. Are you yelling at the t.v. screen by now telling her to get out? Telling her where the door is? Asking her what the heck is holding her there?? Yeah, we are too.

[Chery]

Hi trouble- 1.) Stop cutting yourself, you'll hate the scars it will leave you! 2.) This boy and his leaving should not signify the end of your life, but a new chapter. YOU ARE 16, HELLO??? When you're an old lady of 26, married with a baby on the way from a wonderful, loving, compassionate, caring man, you won't even remember this guy's name. Trust me. Get your focus back into school and keep yourself busy. Join the track team, swimming team, whatever interest you, as long as it has excercise in it. Dedicate yourself to it and becoming the best at it. You'll soon see that there is more to life then boys. God gave you life, he didn't give you the right to take it. Will you waste it on feeling sorry for yourself or will you fill your life with accomplishments and take opportunities to help yourself and others so that in 10 years you can look back and be proud. Close your eyes for a minute and imagine that you are watching a movie on t.v. This movie is about a girl who is messing up her life, not wanting to go on because of a boy who is no longer around. She is in a small room and she keeps bumping her head on the wall. You see her take a step and throw herself on the floor. You see her crying and feeling lonely and scared. There are books and a sofa and lots of things she can do in the room but all she wants to do is pout and cry and hurt herself. She does it all day and all night. You'd think she would eventually get tired of doing that and she is but she wants to continue using her last bit of strength to hurt herself. You as the movie watcher, know that there is a door in that room and behind that door, there is a whole world of people and good and exciting things that are waiting for her. These people are all calling her name but she is crying so loud she can't hear them. Are you yelling at the t.v. screen by now telling her to get out? Telling her where the door is? Asking her what the heck is holding her there??? Yeah, we are too.

This one is intense enough and you really should listen. Also, it's OK to hurt a little, but not add to it by cutting... I'm 56 and still remember my first boyfriend, we all do, but I'm glad I did not marry him, or I would have missed out on other good people and friends, and they will come your way too. Please get help regarding your cutting 'acts' as this is a serious disorder and if you tend to do this a lot, you won't be of any value to yourself or anyone else. You don't think too much of yourself right now and you need to change that real quick. If your parents don't notice or care, seek help elsewhere. You did nothing wrong in your young life to deserve what you are going through, so get help. As far as guys go, there will be plenty knocking on your door as soon as you are healthy in mind and body again. Give yourself a chance, please.

[Wildcat21]

Here is the crux of the matter... your lover/partner IS NEVER your life - only part of your life. Once you put too much importance in someone - this happens.

Your lover is only a small part of your life. School, work, friends, working out, family, religion, hobbies, going out and doing things on a daily basis... ALL ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT.


Once you put someone ahead of you - this stuff happens. You need to learn to build barriers... build walls. You surrendered to this guy and now this stuff happens.


"all i want to do is be with him and nothing else makes me happy." - you can't allow this - OTHER things in life should make you feel happy. When you have this mind set YOU WILL CAHSE YOUR LOVER AWAY - THEY BECOME REPULSED BECAUSE YOU BECOME DESPERATE, NEEDY AND CLINGY.

No lover wants a desperate person. You need many more interests in life the one man.

16 IS WAY too young to even consider marriage. The human brain is not fully developed UNTIL age 25. I wouldn't recoomend ANYONE getting married until past 25 - there shuld be laws to for this.

AND he cheated on you. You don't want to be with him.

[s_cianci]

You need to seek professional help immediately. Get a referral to a psychiatrist. This is essential to get you on the road to stopping this self-destructive behavior you've been engaging in. I'm not a mental health expert but I believe that there's more to this than your recent breakup with your boyfriend. That may well be a contributing factor or maybe even the "straw that broke the camel's back" but I think that you've got some deep-rooted issues that go way back before this guy ever became part of your life. As for this situation with this guy you've got to accept the fact that it's over and move on. However, until you get appropriate treatment, you'll have little chance of ever maintaining a successful relationship with anyone.

[Chery]

You need to seek professional help immediately. Get a referral to a psychiatrist. This is essential to get you on the road to stopping this self-destructive behavior you've been engaging in. I'm not a mental health expert but I believe that there's more to this than your recent breakup with your boyfriend. That may well be a contributing factor or maybe even the "straw that broke the camel's back" but I think that you've got some deep-rooted issues that go way back before this guy ever became part of your life. As for this situation with this guy you've got to accept the fact that it's over and move on. however, until you get appropriate treatment, you'll have little chance of ever maintaining a successful relationship with anyone.

I wholeheartedly agree, this is deeper and you do need help. Get it and realize that you are a human being worth respect and love and caring and that nothing you did should have encouraged people to treat you bad. Good Luck.

[jeffatl]

Look, read my thread about MY break up. Break ups happen, but now you have closure, he cheated. TRUST ME, you don't want to be with someone that is going to betray you like that. Keep your head up and don't do anything that you will regret. You are 16, there will be MANY other guys. I am 24 and I thought the world was ending with my situation too, but do things that make you happy and just go on with your life. Keep us posted and good luck, I know it hurts.

[Iwannababy2]

Look sweetie... let me tell you a story... I was with the same guy all through middle school and high school and it almost killed me when we separated... I went through the whole not eating... loosing weight... and thinking that my life couldn't go on... several years have passed now and I am now with a man who treats me like a queen. You have to be patient... there is someone out there who will give you the world... or at least try his best... no guy is worth the pain you are putting yourself through... be patient... because one day you will look back and think " how could i do that to myself over HIM...???" I promise...

[cutie08]

You I agree go out with your friends and have a good time forget about him there are plenty other fish in the sea and you will find someone else who loves you just the same and or even more believe me I've had experience with it to only I'm 13 and the guy I was dateing was 15 so you but go out with your friends tell them your sry and then ask if they want to hangout or go too a movie or comeover you need to get your mind off him go to a club and meet a new guy but don't get engaged at 16 with your first boyfriend and if you're his first girlfriiend then you will both start to wonder what else is out there for you and your marrige wouldn't last that long and then you would end up getting hurt even more it will take some time things like that always do so you. Maybe go get some help froma consulier or something things will get better I promise you just have to be strong threw the bad to get threw to the good so hang in there good luck feel free to bp me any time if you need to talk to some one

[brandiem]

my boyfriend has recently gone off to uni, im stuck here without him. recently he cheated on me and i dont no wot to do i love him adn i want to be with him, but he thinks its best to break up as he wants to experience other girlfriends. i was his first love and he was mine. neither of us have ever slept with anyone else.
since the relationship has got serious i have been ignoring my friends, and they are getting bored of keep asking me to go out and me saying no. all i want to do is be with him and nothing else makes me happy.
before he wanted to break up we were planning to get engaged even though im only 16 and he is 18. please help me, i have been cutting myself seriously and i have been losing alot of weight, i dont take care of myslef anymore like i used to. i was thinking about dropping out of college to go and visit him.
please help me soon, as i feel i cannot go on and have no one to turn to. :confused:

O honey... I have been there where I have felt there is only one way out and that is the permanent way. But no guy is worth it. You deserve so much better than that. If he has cheated on you before then he probably did sleep with other girls. Guys can be real jerks sometimes. I know it's hard to believe right now, but somewhere down the road there will be someone to treat you right. But you have to look for it. If you accept... If you tolerate a guy treating you wrong, then you send the message that it's OK for guys to treat you that way. If a guy won't treat you right then you walk away from it and let him know that you're better off without him than if he's going to treat you wrong. Because you are.

[Wildcat21]

Can people please check the dates. This post is from 18 months ago - we've been getting a lot of this lately again.

Great advice though.