[lifewillbewhatyoumakeit]

I'm starting to think that I wish I could change my sexuality... im attracted to women and I have no trouble getting them its just a lot them seem to be very unstable. Maybe most women are?

[shygrneyzs]

I would dare say that not all lesbians are "mad" as you put it. Define "mad" and define "unstable" and then tell me if you are mad and/or unstable. Like often attracts like. The last sentence, "maybe most women are" - who is most women here? ALL women or lesbians? You are, in my opinion, way off base. Unless you can fill in all the blanks here - specifics. Because to come here and take a shot at a group of women and nothing to back it up, well... does not speak well for you.

Edit: from your other post - are you a guy? Who dates the shallow girls?

[lifewillbewhatyoumakeit]

Maybe like does attract like. Only looking for suggestions!

"mad" would be off the wall.. in their own little world of drama... and not able to have a lasting relationship that's meaningful.. it seems to be all just a game with most the women I've come across.
I want a lasting relationship but the types I am meeting and wanting to get to know are always the wrong ones!

Perhaps I am mad myself but I seem to have a pretty stable life... all except for a decent relationship.

[shygrneyzs]

Not all lesbians and not all women are off the wall. For that matter, not all gay men and not all men are off the wall either. Sure, some are - but it is not because they are attracted to the same gender. I would think the problems were there long before they identified themselves as homosexuals. Same is true for heterosexuals. We all live in glass houses.

I do not know why you attract "the wrong ones." Could be your personality, your attitude, yourself image... could be many things. Could be you are only looking at the surface for someone to date and not taking the sincere time to allow a relationship to develop on it's own merit. You don't go from point A to point L in one step.

I also do not know your age, but I feel you are still fairly young (under 21). There is a very good book you could get ahold of. While some of the contents will not apply to you, some of it will. The book is called, "Single Wisdom" by Dr. Paris Fenner-Williams. What you should look at in that book is the process of identifying characteristics in yourself and in others that will compliment your life, not complicate your life. Things to know about the other person and how to TAKE TIME with that person. Like I said, not everything will be significant to you, but some of it will. Your library might have that book.

[pepper jean]

How old are you?

[lifewillbewhatyoumakeit]

I'm actually 24. My mind does need to mature yes. A lot actually! But I am not so young that I am not prepared and willing to admit things need to change.

I will have a read of that book, thanks for your advice. If you ever meet a really crazy lesbian think of me :D

[Xrayman]

Immaturity is the issue here. Perhaps sometimes we need to assess ourselves before we make sweeping generalisations.

And you all know how I LOVE sweeping generalisations...

[statictable]

OK, very good question and hope what I say will not extinguish the warmth and love shared by so many of us. I will give the results of two contemporary University based studies. The first was a comparison of heterosexual couples to gay couples in the reporting and severity of inter relationship physical abuse. The reporting of abuse was highest among heterosexuals followed by gay males and lastly gay females. The severity of abuse was highest (population adjusted) among gay females then heterosexuals with gay males last. The second study was designed to authenticate couples within gay relationships. Among gay male couples fewer than 8% of males reported they were not homosexual and chose a relationship with a same sex partner for a vast number of reasons which paralleled the heterosexual couples. Among gay females approximately 45% reported they were not gay but chose same sex partners because they felt safe and shared common experiences of real or perceived rejection from males. We are all human beings deserving common respect and trust. We are all capable of anger and love. The goal is to show respect to all without question and to acknowledge that privacy belongs to everyone.

[Dennis777]

Hello.

It doesn't matter who you enjoy being with, there are good and bad people. The bigest way to control the types of people you meet is by controlling where you meet them.

Dennis777

[templelane]

Hi, I was talking about this with my friends the other day

I know where the OP is coming from. I sometimes think that some gay 'scenes' foster the belief that crazy is cool.

Personally I think some behaviours stem from if you were forced to break one taboo at an early age, realising that society doesn't agree with you that you begin to question what else the general population disagrees with that isn't that bad.

I think coming out can be quiet a trauma for some people (especially those with religious parents) and this can exacerbate any susceptibilities to mental illness/ destructive behaviour.

I just want to make it clear I don't think all lesbians are mad however, I have noticed a higher incidence of unhinged behaviour in my gay friends vs my straight friends. Although of course there are exceptions on both sides.

I don't think I know a single lesbian/ bi-girl who haven't declared they're steering clear of women forever at some point. I think most people go through those thoughts after a series of bad relationships/ a traumatic break-up. I think the same can be said of straight people.

Oh well, that's my random opinion :)

[btucker]

Life,
The most frightful thing you said is "Perhaps i am mad myself but i seem to have a pretty stable life .... all except for a decent relationship." You need to stop think that a relationship with a person will make you whole. It will not. A healthy relationship will can only enhance your stability, not make it. What you are attarcted sexually is not always what makes for a good relationship. Some people ar turned on by shoes or worse, children. Because you are questioning you sexuality, might indicate that you want a loving relationship, but you have not been able yet to have that with a man. Look deep with in and towards God and you will find the answers.

[lifewillbewhatyoumakeit]

templelane curious to know are you gay or straight?

You have a point about the gay scenes.. crazy as in insane behaviour apparently is cool on my scene . I have however had enough of the fake, superficial side of things and would like to meet a relatively stable girl who does not get a kick out of playing silly scene games.. gossiping, head games etc.

... I realize this kind of behaviour goes on in the straight world too.. it appears to be emphasized considerably in the gay world.. "unhinged"... yes its like some of them need the drama in their life and it can be so easy to get wrapped up in it if you are not careful.

[templelane]

Hi no I'm not gay myself, but my flatmates and almost all my friends are so I've seen it all. I think it's as much to do with the age as anything else, although I can't speak for straight dating as I'm in a relationship and don't really know any straight people (who I don't work with)

Definitely is easy to get embroiled in the drama - I try not to get involved.

[pepper jean]

Sorry lifewillbewhatyoumakeit I didn't mean for my question to imply that you are immature I just simply wanted to know what age of a person was asking this question. In my life the majority of the people I meet are not for me it took me a while to realize that I know if I want to be with or have sex with that person in about the first 3 seconds of meeting them. Trust yourself and pay attention to your inner voice

[amberlybuddy]

I'm lesbian and I'm not mad.. . Mad in love but not mad mad like I'm a mad
Lol if that makes a point

[Choux]

I got to tell you, I think *all people* are a little mad in one way or another; I have no personal experience to the contrary. :)

If you want to meet a more stable individual, don't meet people at bars or clubs... ask older stable women you know if they know of anyone you could "make friends with". Meet people through sporting activities, hobbies, being out and about in life, volunteering is a great place to meet different people.

[kp2171]

Hmm... are all young guys idiots? I sure was.

Are all lesbian mad? Uhm... I don't think so. If I said "yes" the three I know personally might be mad at me.

Are people idiots? Sure. It took me nearly 20 years of dating to find a person who was "right"... along the way I dated mean girls, cheating girls, and crazy girls, and even a few great girls who just weren't quite right.

A friend says you got to find your own kind of weird. Its just true.

Be patient. We all go through some mad noise usually before we buy a clue and figure things out.