[leogirl1968]

My husband tells me he is confused. He has feelings for another women but he still has feelings for me. We have been together for 21 years. We have 3 children the youngest is 14. He says that he is still attracted to me but in a different way and isn't sure if it is enough. He has moved out with a friend. When he visits us he says it is to see the kids but on a couple of occasions we have hugged or kissed it seems that he still loves me. He says that he doesn't want to give me false hopes but I still feel that there is hope. What can I do to remind him of the good times we have shared and how good we can be together, I think we just let our relationship get stale and the other woman made him feel special and I was too caught up with day to day life to see what was happening.

I desperately want to win him back but I have never had to do anything like this before I don't know what to do. He tells me that he is a pr... k and I am better off without him and that he feels guilty for hurting me but he also felt that by not saying anything was living a lie. Despite all this I still love him and would take him back in an instant.

What advice to you give me

.:confused:

[otto186]

Have you considered marriage counseling? That would be the best road to take if the other partner is willing. This way you can see were both your problems lay and work on fixing them.

[talaniman]

Less worry about him and more caring for you. You cannot control how he feels and you certainly cannot build a life on his feelings now. Build your life around you and your children and whether he changes or not is up to him. Whether you have a happy and healthy life is up to you. You cannot wait for him, so do what is best for you and your children now and let life take its own course. Sorry I can't encourage you more as I know you want him back.

[bright_stone]

If he is a good man and you don't want to lose him, ask him what he would like to have different in your marriage and then do it. Simple. If you do this, and he still strays away, he just wanted out anyway.
Don't forever beat yourself up for neglecting your marriage while raising your children/working. It happens. Just apologize to your spouse, and work to do your part now. And also important, watch your words to your children, concerning this situation. Let your words be full of grace.