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Picassa · Sep 20, 2007, 05:51 PM

Here's an unusual situation... Stepson's mother refused money we offered to help with the expenses of the rehearsal dinner (wanted top billing, apparently). Our wedding check to the stepson helped the couple to make a downpayment on a house, so we are pleased, nonetheless. Now comes the rehearsal dinner this weekend. Invitation received, listed as hosts are the mother and her new husband (not the father of the groom). Father of the groom (my husband) is wondering about toasting protocol at the event itself. Obviously since he's not listed on the dinner invitation as a host, he will not offer the first welcoming/bride's toast, nor the second (brides father), so where should he jump in, and is there anyone else other than the marrying couple to whom he should offer a toast? Thanks for your suggestions!

tickle · Sep 21, 2007, 04:56 AM

Toasts can be offered by anyone after the dinner before the tables are left. He just stands up and announces he wants to toast, or, he can let the groom or best man know he would like to make a toast at a given time and he will be announced appropriately.

Picassa · Sep 21, 2007, 11:28 AM

Thank you for your suggestions. My husband is not an orator, and is somewhat uncomfortable by the prospect. He doesn't want to step on toes, though wants to be appropriate and not out of turn. I'm sure he'll think of something to say. Thanks!

momtobe949 · Sep 25, 2007, 02:32 AM

I agree 100% the father of the groom should be able to speak since it is his son getting married. I wouldn't even tell the stepmom and just go for it, there is nothing she can do.

Picassa · Sep 25, 2007, 09:21 AM

Thanks Momtobe. Actually I am the stepmom. My concern is entirely for my husband, and his neither being intentionally excluded nor embarrassed by his ex in a semi-public venue, as is her custom. We both have a desire to welcome the new daughter in law and her family as well as wish his son well in this new life.
Whenever there is divorce, it's a little shaky to mention elements of marital bliss, long-lasting happiness, etc, in a toast to the couple without fear of it being seen as a slam to the first spouse (who would certainly take it that way). We are open to generic yet profound examples of what would be good in this situation. Any suggestions are appreciated! Thanks everyone!