[Cher13]

Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year now,he's my world and I love him more then anything, he asked me out 6months strait before I said yes, and from there on we just fell head over heels for one another, in the beginning everything was perfect, we were with each other all the time and when we wernt we were on the phone with one another,he'd tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me, he would call me all the time for no apparent reason just to talk, want to see me all the time, do everything with me, it felt like we were together for years, but about 2 months ago, things have changed, he hardley ever calls me, never wants to see me,hardley ever tells me he loves me or calls me the "pet" names he normaly would, never makes plans with me and when he does he always come up with some lame excuse witch is usaully, "i'm so tired" or "i'm working late again" last min to get out of it, I think I'v only seen him 4 times this hole month, when I've talked to him about it he says "your completly right honey, i love you and i'll try to be a better boyfriend" but the next day he's at it again, I've even broken up with him and he calls me saying "this doesnt feel right i love you more then anything and want to be with you, i'm just busy" so me being a beliver went back to him only to find it back to the way things were a few days later... I know he would never cheat on me, but I'm just so sick of crying, being let down and feeling alone, I have no idea what to do or what's happening, is it me? Am I being to needy? Pease someone help me understand or figure out what to do?? HELP!

[Chery]

First, never, never make someone else the center of your universe.

Some guys go all out when chasing a girl, and once she's his, they tend to slow down and get out of the fast lane.

He just might be tired due to school or job.

This sounds to me like you count on him to help you through day to day life and that should not be happening. You should be catching up on your schooling, friends and other interests also and not put everything on hold for him. You should also not expect him to drop everything in his life for you.

Go about normal life, and give him a break.

If it's over, there is nothing you can do to get him back. If it's not over, then give him space to breathe.

This all sounds negative, but it is necessary for you to stop.. think... and get your life back. You deserve to be happy.

[Cher13]

You'd think after being together for a year he would call me when he has something to talk about, but instead he texts me and it feels so impersonal, what does this mean?

[Montecito_Rise]

you'd think after being together for a year he would call me when he has somthing to talk about, but instead he texts me and it feels so impersonal, what does this mean?

Have you let him know it bothers you? If not, that would be the place to start. He may not realize what he is doing.

[Cher13]

Oh I have let him know repetedly, not rude or anything just told him that it feel very impersonal and I'd like aphone call every once in a while, like today he said I'll call you before I head to work and I had a feeling he wouldn't so I said promise, he said yes, then I received a text saying he forgot and is at work.

[Montecito_Rise]

Well 1st of all consider the source of this advice... take a look at my post down below to see my situation... maybe I shouldn't be giving advice.

But with that said, I would try and sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about it. If he really respects you, he should do it. Sometimes texts are more convenient and some people just don't like the phone, but he should acquiesce if he cares aout you. Or if you want to play hardball, you can just not repsond to the texts, forcing him to call instead. But honestly, if you sit him down and he still refuses, you may have a larger respect issue going on.

[nicespringgirl]

Believe or not, some people are just weird about money!
I personally know someone would text because it's $5 unlimited.
Do u think he is cheap?

[Cher13]

He is slightly cheep, but I think its something else

[Cher13]

Reading some of the questions and answers posted , I'm confused on weather my boyfriend treats me bad or if I'm looking for too much out of him... I want to see him more then once/twice a week, I'd like to talk to him everyday more then once if possible(once would do tho) I want him to be involved in my life, and me in his, I just want us to be happy... is this too much to ask of my boyfriend of a year?

[GlindaofOz]

No you are not asking for too much. That is pretty standard boyfriend behavior. Most couples talk on the phone every day or every other day and typically see one another once a week maybe more. It all depends on both people's schedules.


What's going on with him Cher?

[Cher13]

I really don't know what's going on with him, up until 2 months ago we'd see each other 4/5 times a week, talk 4/5 times a day, he'd always tell me he loved me and call me hun or baby, but now I barley see him, barley talk to him and when I do he always seems annoyed with me and finds any excuse not to see me, he says he loves me and wants to see me but is busy, but even when he's not busy or doing anything I never see him, I think if you love someone and want to see them, you will no matter how busy you are, am I wrong? What should I think?

[GlindaofOz]

How old are the both of you? How long have you guys been together? Have things been stressful for him lately?

[Cher13]

I am 21 and he is 23, we have been together for almost a year... he has just started a new job a month ago and clamis to always half to work late, almost everyday weekday. He'll say I'm off at 4 I'll be right over after, but then he'll call me at 4 and say "i'm still wokring i'll call you when i get off", but he doesn't even call some times and when he does its not till midnight saying he just got off,and is way to tired to do anything... like working 18-20 hours 5 days a week, is he lying to me? And he gets weekends off but I never see him on the weekends he says he's busy with family or is to tired still. Just seems like he's always "saying" I'm coming to see you but never does, always "saying" I'll call but never does he even bugs out on plans last minute, like we had plans to go away together for the weekend for a month ,then the night before he tells me he has to house sit for his parents and watch there dog... are these all just excusses not to see me?

[GlindaofOz]

Okay you may not like what I have to say. This is just my analysis based on what you have said. I could be totally wrong but here is what I think. He wants to break up. When guys want to break up they look for reasons to not see you and make up bs excuses and say "oh I have to work late" and I have this obligation or that obligation. They will also "forget" to call you back or call you at all.

What is your sense of this situation? You're a woman you got the ladies intuition going on. What does your gut say?

[Montecito_Rise]

reading some of the questions and answers posted , i'm confused on weather my boyfriend treats me bad or if i'm looking for to much out of him...... i want to see him more then once/twice a week, i'd like to talk to him everyday more then once if possible(once would do tho) i want him to be involved in my life, and me in his, i just want us to be happy..... is this to much to ask of my boyfriend of a year?

FYI... this sounds a lot like my ex-g/f prior to our problems. This, unfortunately isn't a good sign. The one thing I found out the hard way----the more you push, the more they pull.

[Cher13]

See and that's the thing... this is why I'm confussed, I broke up with him last week! I felt the same thing, and I'm not the type of person to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me, not matter how much I loved them.. I felt things were different and this is ovious behavior of someone that wants out, but he called me telling me "this doesnt feel right, i love you more then anything, and want to be with you" but he's still acting like this!!

[GlindaofOz]

Okay here is what is going on. He treated you as if you were unimportant and you called his bluff and walked (good job by the way) and now he is going on no she actually walked away and didn't let me treat her badly. If you go back to him it will be great for a week to a month then he will be back to the same old patterns. You teach people how to treat you and right now you have told him you are not one to be treated badly if you go back you are telling him that it is okay to treat you bad because you will come back.

[Cher13]

that's the best explination I have herd in a long time... I did go back though... I don't know what it is, I love him so much, and we both want the same things in life, get alonge great, I just keep thinking this time will be different, this time he means it (beacause we have talked about this 100 times already) and he says "your so right hunney, i'll try to be a better boyfriend" but for sum reason I just keep sticking around looking for excusses why he treats me like this, keep thinking once he gets a new job things will be back to the way they were or something like that, I think thinking what if I pretend I don't care anymore will that make him pay more attention to me? But I don't want to half to "pretend i dont care" about something I really do...

[Cher13]

I'm so stuck! Everything I know and how I've been brought up is telling me to get out, but I have never felt suck a deep connection. I'm scared, not of being without him but that I won't have this connection/love for someone ever again... I know I'm young and there are plentty of guys out there but this was something special

[GlindaofOz]

I felt the deepest connection of my life with my ex. I thought we were going to get married in fact everyone around us was pretty convinced of it as well. We even talked about it. When we broke up I was devastated and never imagined that I would be able to get on and move on with my life. The further and further I moved myself away from the situation I was able to see that yeah we had a great connection but a relationship is way more then that. If both people aren't willing to put in the required work then it is going to fail.

Your ex has shown you that he is not willing to put in the work to keep the relationship going. He is completely unwilling - even when you talk to him about AND tell him that it upsets you- to change the behavior. What makes you think this will be any different? A week away from you is too soon to change. He just wants you now because you walked away or maybe it's a pride thing and he wants to be the one who dumps.