[vivia12]

I appreciate this Friend
Bur unfortunately I did invest a lot in him
But it has been dwindling now that I seen passed his true colors
But what did I do,go on and break NC just to see if there would be any reconnecting
Waste of time,now my curiousity is filled but it doesn't help anything
Also,Fr Church,u seem to be having good time meeting people
You have a good head on your shoulder,true some folks online are not serious
But not all women want a guy making the big bucks
Its like saying all men want Halle berry looking woman,
Well sometimes I think they (men) do,and they are all about looks
I just want a non user,decent human being whose not fresh out of a relationship and looking to have someone to cry on their shoulder abouut their heartless exes than ignore that same person who was there, darn I'm negative
My requirement is that he canafford to by a decent tequila for my margaritas

[friend4u178]

Comments on this post
vivia12 agrees: do you really really think so?

Definitely... but just be yourself and try to not even think about getting in a relationship with anyone for the time being , we can sniff it if you seem too keen ;)

[vivia12]

Comments on this post
vivia12 agrees: do you really really think so?

Definately...............but just be yourself and try to not even think about getting in a relationship with anyone for the time being , we can sniff it if you seem too keen ;)

Lol, friend! That's so funny saying we can sniff out when a lady seems desperate
Even online too?
That dog pic looks like he can whiff desperation
So you think it's a good idea to leave love be for the time being?
Feels just like I'm giving up
But on another hand, I can't keep going on being disapointed like this

[talaniman]

You don't give up on love, you just stop looking, and change the focus to things you really enjoy, and meeting NEW people through the activities you do. Then someone has a chance to find you, no matter how busy you are.

I think the disappointment comes when we expect to find someone, especially online, but in real life also, and get so full of high expectations when we get a nibble, it's a long fall when things don't work out.

Online, or offline, the rules are the same. Take your time getting to know someone, and have fun doing it, or, to much, to fast, crash, and burn.

Technology may give us more opportunities, but we have to give give ourselves a chance.

[jmw0713]

I agree Tal. I've been putting my profile on several dating sites, but it's not like talking to people face to face. Plus, I also think that half of the women on there are just there to see what's out there, not necessarily looking to date online.

I think I may hide them for a while... I'm not ready yet. Although, it's not like they're all breaking down my door to date me either. LOL!

[vivia12]

I agree Tal. I've been putting my profile on several dating sites, but it's not like talking to people face to face. Plus, I also think that half of the women on there are just there to see whats out there, not necessarily looking to date online.

I think I may hide them for a while...I'm not ready yet. Although, it's not like they're all breaking down my door to date me either. LOL!

I'm taking a break too,it's a good idea,why beat dead horses

[jmw0713]

Vivia, I wonder the same things. How do I turn off all of these women?? I email a few at a time, but I don't get any responses back. That's why I don't think they are on these sites to date, with the exception of you I guess.

Maybe I am coming off as needy. Maybe my picture sucks, or maybe they don't like a guy who is fun... IDK. What I do know is, I still think about my ex at least once a day. I also think... "Well I got her, why can't I get anyone of these women?" It's strange and I am a loss right now. The whole online dating thing is a mystery to me.

[kctiger]

I am on the online dating scene as well. I truly think that it is usually the pics that turn people on or off. That is the first thing most look at. Skip reading the long profile. If they don't look good, I won't respond (that is the overall mentality, not mine). I am not a member of these websites to find my true love, I just do it to meet new people (as I am not the type of guy to go to a bar and pick up a girl who is trashed). I do feel awkward a bit to initiate contact with girls online, but in the end, I don't care. If they don't respond, then so what. I know I am a good looking guy who would be a great boyfriend. Just have that mentality. People just become really protective and judgemental online... they are hiding behind a computer.

[TrueFaith]

I have never done online dating.
And never plan to.

But you are right the net is a very Judgemental place.

[jmw0713]

Yea... thats mostly why I do it, to meet new people. BUT... I'm not going to argue if things go further.:cool:

I seriously need to get a new picture. The one I have up is like 4 years old! LOL! I look a little different now.

[vivia12]

Vivia, I wonder the same things. How do I turn off all of these women??? I email a few at a time, but I don't get any responses back. Thats why I don't think they are on these sites to date, with the exception of you I guess.

Maybe I am coming off as needy. Maybe my picture sucks, or maybe they don't like a guy who is fun...IDK. What I do know is, I still think about my ex at least once a day. I also think..."Well I got her, why can't I get anyone of these women?" It's strange and I am a loss right now. The whole online dating thing is a mystery to me.

Lol, jmw
Sorry ,I don't mean to laugh at you nor your plight,for I am in that same,what's wrong w/me ,why am I not getting any response. Your comment just cheered me up that's all.
I thought I was the only one who felt that way,not with my pics, I actually have some more I'd like to scan,its just these guys I meet B and moan about their exes
Then they turn around and diss me too,
I don't try to get it with them,but then they act as though they are interested in me.
I tried match.com but am too lazy to even pursue it
I live in Louisiana and sorry,the men who seem interested in me look like Country ajun joe's off the bayou.

[kctiger]

I am on match.com. It is better than E-Harmony, which is an absolute rip off in my opinion. My ex has pretty much snatched all the good pics I had, so the pics I have posted are rather uneventful. Also, I don't know why other guys (or gals) would complain about their ex to someone they just met. I know that I try not to even mention my ex to other women, especially those whom I just met. There is a time and a place for that...

[vivia12]

Tiger
You need to get those pics back from your ex, I set one of the loser guys real nice actual fresh off the Walgreens photoshop pics of me,'he dissepeared and so are my nice pics
Never again,
Just have to make more

[jmw0713]

Yea KC. My ex has all the good pictures too. I was just thinking if I should ask for some... but then realized I just need to make my own!!

I think that Match.com is lame. There isn't anyone ever one there, at least in my area. I think I am going to sign up for Yahoo Personals and see where that goes. They have the same "guarantee" as Match, but more traffic.

There are a couple of free sites out there as well. Plentyoffish.com is OK... I got a profile on there.

You know there is always AdultFriendFinder.com if you get desperate!! LOL!! :D

I'm gald I cheered you up Vivia. I've been to New Orleans (New Awlins), and had one hell of a good time down there. The food, the people, and the music is fantastic!! Never had a crawfish or a poboy before I went down there.

[vivia12]

Jm
I was going to not recommend plentyoffish,people there are ruffians!
But then all I do is post my forums there never tried to look for anything on that site.
Funny,I used to live in Baltimore..
Well, I have a last shot and itys through my school's paper,
They have 'Personals' section from students
Maybe I can try there, I think its my best bet
Although it goes against all the advice stop looking
U guys just motivating by not letting this online dating thing get to you,like KC tiger
Thanks a bundle!

[vivia12]

Hello Everyone!

It has been a while since I posted anything on AMHD,and I feel bad that since my last posts that I don't think I've progressed,even though I'm, aware of it and has seek counseling,so bear with me it's a long post.
I'm still in the same boat,in love,or in addiction to this man, an LDR relationship ago and he since met someone else in person,now he's admitted theyhave been living together,however he still wants to remain friends and talk and vent like he used to,but in a way its killing me
Because I don't see him as a friend and at times all I do is check my e-mail or phone or obsess about what he's doing and what he's not.
At first I didn't understand why he would call me late at night,I thought that he wasn't with her,even on the weekends, so every time when I -ume,I make an A out of myself in a way. I've always felt a deep connection to him and I know people would say,he's from the online,its not real,but I've always since there was something different about him,I could talk to him about anything but reality is,if he really wanted to be with me,before he met his girl,he would have been, since we spoke about this my times but nothing really happened,he lives in Germany.
My goal is to trying to stop interacting with him as much especially if I'm bothered by it and ofbecause of my situation.
Once I went full NC but to no avail broke it,I wish I could find someone else,locally that I'm attracted to but it hasn't happened in ages. I'd go out,try to meet people,go to different events,but I live in a small-ish town like area where there's not much culture and eligible decent men. So it does get pretty lonely, as a result, most of the time I would compare myself to him,that he's having a great time,-with his girl,even though at times he was very emotionally abusive towards me in the past. So now I feel that this new girl gets to benefit and gets to have him.
So Now he's happy to chat,IM or call constantly about current events,impersonal stuff, or we'd talk about careers,once he slipped in along time and we started flirting. I didn't take it seriously knowing how he switches on and off,this was before he told me he was shacking up.
Bottom line,I don't want to totally never speak to him again since he does reach out to me;However,I don't want to just be the ear piece or person he vents to about life or chitchat about impersonal stuff (breadcrumbs if you ask me) when deep inside I want more,and I realize that I'll never get it from him. I feel like a woman lost in a desert trying to get water,all I get is drops or a mirage.
Any advice, help or support is appreciated and I reiterate that I do go out and try to meet people just in case if this is the only response I get. I know it has to be sheer loneliness. Thanks everyone!

[talaniman]

Do the No Contact, no more excuses, and stop looking for romance, and just make real friends, who do fun things, and the place to start is right where you are as even small town folks have fun.

Come on V, you have to change that attitude because, as long as your in contact with him in any way, you will be disappointed, and miserable, and blind to the positive things around you right under your nose. Even worse, you'll never be able to enjoy yourself.

Please see a doctor for a check up, just to make sure your not having depression over this situation.

For sure if you don't shake it up, and drop the excuses, you'll never be happy.

Sorry to be harsh, but I think you need a jolt to get busy, and stop having time to listen to his stuff, any more. Thats the problem, allowing any contact with him. Stop it!!! You have to much work to do for yourself.

[CFZD]

Make some good female friends, they will get your back!

I am always single and greatly appreciate the friends I have made in real life ( guys or girls). The good friends will make you not wanting to meet a man, you will be so busy hanging out with them! Start with meeting girls, it's easy to exchange emotions with them!

[CFZD]

LOL, to add, actually your female friends will have enough drama to tell you about THEIR men, that might become one contributing factor you don't even want a man in your life.

Good luck Vivia.

[friend4u178]

Had to spread the rep but I agree with you Tal 100%

Vivia , I've posted answers to questions of yours before and like Tal says your not doing NC because you keep in touch with him so that stops you moving on and letting go.

STOP contacting him or you'll be stuck forever. Someone will come along when you aren't even looking for it.