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    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Sep 6, 2007, 02:35 PM
    Why can't I get a boyfriend?
    Hi,
    I am a high school student in need of love advice. I am a girl who does really well in school, is really good at sports, I'm pretty and extremely nice. I have a lot of guy friends, but no one has ever asked me out. I get whistles in the street and from strangers. All the girls tell me at school that I could get a guy in a second, and when I say I don't have a boyfriend everyone is shocked. :confused: What an I doing wrong. I see all these guys date these loser girlfriends and I wonder why they are never picking me. People say I am like a threat. Guys call be BARBIE but where is me KEN? I am just so lonely and sick and tired of trying to figure out why no one will be my boyfriend. Please help:)
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #2

    Sep 6, 2007, 02:56 PM
    There are a lot of guys that are intimidated by smart and pretty girls. They don't know how to approach them. Some guys are just shy, period. I have had to initiate conversations with guys before because they are too shy. I've also had to ask a guy to be my boyfriend before because he couldn't spit the words out :p
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Sep 7, 2007, 12:32 PM
    I talk and hang out with guys all the time, but why I am always just afriend and nothing more. They tell me I'm hot and stuff but after that they don't do anything. Why are guys so silly sometimes. I need a guy to answer PLEASE I need your perspective. WHy won'tguys go out with a smart, pretty athletic girl ( and nice) like me? Don't you guys want a trophy wife girlfriend to show off?
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #4

    Sep 7, 2007, 12:36 PM
    Do you talk about yourself this much in front of guys? Some guys have a problem with hearing how pretty and smart you are all the time.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #5

    Sep 7, 2007, 12:38 PM
    Have you ever asked anyone out? My cousin is 17 years old, drop dead gorgeous, smart, sweet, very down to earth and has great self esteem but she often finds that she has to do some pursuing in order for a guy to ask her out. Most guys think that since she is all of the things I have said above that she would never want to date them. Have you shown real interest in any guy? Most guys will not ask a girl out without some indication of interest from the girl
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #6

    Sep 7, 2007, 01:04 PM
    Honey, pull a chair! Send you a big hug!

    I have been facing the same problem since.. I am 23 now! ^^0

    I really can't blame on men, since I DO focus on on school, leadership and work way too much.

    We actually don't try hard to get a boyfriend. We don't need to tell a guy you are busy, they can TELL that! You do sports, school all the time, they assume you are not interested in dating.

    Even if you are not that busy, and you do like to have a date, they DON"T KNOW, so you have to tell them about it.

    And once you tell them about it, it takes time for them to adjust their views on you, GUYS ARE SLOW. THEY CAN"T BELIEVE YOU ARE AVAILABLE.

    Then you have wait,. wait until them realize she'd like to go out sometime, then they starting sending you vibe,you might not get it, or your standards too high, you don't give them a chance.

    And we have good friends(gfs) that we don't really feel like the need to make more guy friends, right?

    So things never work out...

    Now I must go back to work to achieve my career goal, get men intimidated... :D

    I will post more later.;)
    JonLR92's Avatar
    JonLR92 Posts: 81, Reputation: -2
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    #7

    Sep 7, 2007, 01:25 PM
    I'm a guy!! In high school!! Yay!! OK OK, the reason, I think, that you've never been asked out, is because, the guys where you live have no balls. I mean if you say your all the things you are and I met you, you'd better believe id ask you out in a heartbeat. But that's how people from New York are, fearless, cool, yeah(if you do live in New York this is totally useless). Either you ask out a boy yourself, or at least show interest in one specific one then you won't have a thing. I think this sounds mean but I'm not trying to be so sorry. Anyway if you have a crush on some kid make sure you make it obvious, if your just waiting for some guy to ask you out, your chances will probably be very extremely slim.
    GoldieMae's Avatar
    GoldieMae Posts: 263, Reputation: 89
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    #8

    Sep 7, 2007, 01:52 PM
    I asked boys out in high school, or somehow worked it to where we would be the only two going to some place. For example, I was on a field trip my senior year, sitting with three guy friends, knew two others had something that conflicted with the third guy and my scheduled lunch, so I asked all three of them KNOWING only one could go. By the end of lunch, we had a date for that Friday.

    I did that sort of thing a few times and managed a long-term relationship that lasted my senior year and beyond. I was never asked out by a single boy in high school. NEVER. But I dated several. Honestly, working it to where you end up at the same place works much better than coming out and asking a boy for a date (fragile egos of males under 21 to consider), but you have to put on your thinking cap and put yourself in a situation where you get enough alone time with a boy you really like to let him know you are interested.

    Oh, and boys generally will not ask you out if you are in a group and they think one of the other boys in the group has a thing for you or you have a thing for someone else. So some alone time with the one you like is what you need to find.
    biggsie's Avatar
    biggsie Posts: 1,267, Reputation: 125
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    #9

    Sep 7, 2007, 01:52 PM
    You need to make room for a boy friend in your life

    It is like fishing you have to lure him to you - flirt

    How to Get a Boyfriend - wikiHow

    How to Get a Boyfriend | eHow.com

    :) FREE PIZZA How to Bake The Perfect Pizza | eHow.com

    How To Get A Boyfriend Quiz and Test - Are You Girlfriend Material?
    br_hjs's Avatar
    br_hjs Posts: 160, Reputation: 11
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    #10

    Sep 7, 2007, 01:55 PM
    Maybe the guys don't want to go out with you because they are afraid of all the other guys trying to take you. Have you ever asked a guy out instead of trying to wait? Maybe they really want to go out with you but don' t think they even have a chance and so they are afraid to ask you.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #11

    Sep 7, 2007, 03:43 PM
    You need to know that you will meet that special someone sometime.(that is what I tell myself everyday). On the other hand, be open to someone who wants to try a relationship. So I would advise you not to worry about it too much and let things flow for you. Don't try too hard because the best relationships tend to be the ones that just happen by themselves.
    I hope you find someone decent, but be careful, some guys out will take advantage of you and then go with someone else and leave you heartbroken without caring about you at all. So I wish you good luck in finding someone special who deserves all the goodness that you are. Someone who will honestly remain true to you and be there for you no matter what happens.
    So even if it seems that it is hard to get a guy to like you, it really isn't because there are a lot of guys in this world that you just havn't met yet. So don't go with anyone who is willing, have some sort of qualities to look for like honesty and trustworthiness and loyalty and so on. This way you filter out the good from the bad and you don't take the first one that comes because someone better might come after him. The hard part is to choose which one to go for, not to actually get just one, because you will get many of them in time, you will see. Trust me on this one.
    Good luck.:)
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
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    #12

    Sep 9, 2007, 05:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    Do you talk about yourself this much in front of guys? Some guys have a problem with hearing how pretty and smart you are all the time.
    NO I never talk to them about myself!
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #13

    Sep 9, 2007, 05:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mandmo
    NO I never talk to them about myself!
    Ok good. I wasn't trying to be mean, but that can be a turn off to guys.
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
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    #14

    Sep 9, 2007, 05:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
    You need to know that you will meet that special someone sometime.(that is what I tell myself everyday). On the other hand, be open to someone who wants to try a relationship. So I would advise you not to worry about it too much and let things flow for you. Don’t try too hard because the best relationships tend to be the ones that just happen by themselves.
    I hope you find someone decent, but be careful, some guys out will take advantage of you and then go with someone else and leave you heartbroken without caring about you at all. So I wish you good luck in finding someone special who deserves all the goodness that you are. Someone who will honestly remain true to you and be there for you no matter what happens.
    So even if it seems that it is hard to get a guy to like you, it really isn’t because there are a lot of guys in this world that you just havn’t met yet. So don’t go with anyone who is willing, have some sort of qualities to look for like honesty and trustworthiness and loyalty and so on. This way you filter out the good from the bad and you don’t take the first one that comes because someone better might come after him. The hard part is to choose which one to go for, not to actually get just one, because you will get many of them in time, you will see. Trust me on this one.
    Good luck.:)
    Thank you so much for your awesome advice!:)
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Sep 9, 2007, 05:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    Ok good. I wasnt trying to be mean, but that can be a turn off to guys.
    Thank you so much for your help, it is really working!
    kayakinggirl's Avatar
    kayakinggirl Posts: 58, Reputation: 5
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    #16

    Sep 12, 2007, 05:25 PM
    AS the mother of an eighteen year old who is beautiful, smart and everything else-you don't need a boyfriend-concentrate on who you are and who you want to be. Do things for yourself-take a college class, learn how to rock climb or kayak, write poetry. People who are self-assured exude confidence, and that is one of the most attractive things in the world. Start feeling confident in who you are, and boys will be dropping at your feet. Stop worrying about what they're doing.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #17

    Sep 12, 2007, 07:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kayakinggirl
    AS the mother of an eighteen year old who is beautiful, smart and everything else-you don't need a boyfriend-concentrate on who you are and who you want to be. Do things for yourself-take a college class, learn how to rock climb or kayak, write poetry. People who are self-assured exude confidence, and that is one of the most attractive things in the world. Start feeling confident in who you are, and boys will be dropping at your feet. Stop worrying about what they're doing.
    Exactly!
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #18

    Sep 14, 2007, 04:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kayakinggirl
    AS the mother of an eighteen year old who is beautiful, smart and everything else-you don't need a boyfriend-concentrate on who you are and who you want to be. Do things for yourself-take a college class, learn how to rock climb or kayak, write poetry. People who are self-assured exude confidence, and that is one of the most attractive things in the world. Start feeling confident in who you are, and boys will be dropping at your feet. Stop worrying about what they're doing.
    Thank you so much. I do have a lot of confidence in myself, but ever since I haven't tried looking for one, the guys just keep talking and wanting to hang out with me. Hehe Thanks!:p
    imissyou's Avatar
    imissyou Posts: 18, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #19

    Sep 14, 2007, 09:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mandmo
    Hi,
    I am a high school student in need of love advice. I am a girl who does really well in school, is really good at sports, I'm pretty and extremely nice. I have a lot of guy friends, but no one has ever asked me out. I get whistles in the street and from strangers. All the girls tell me at school that I could get a guy in a second, and when I say I don't have a boyfriend everyone is shocked. :confused: What an I doing wrong. I see all these guys date these loser girlfriends and I wonder why they are never picking me. People say I am like a threat. Guys call be BARBIE but where is me KEN? I am just so lonely and sick and tired of trying to figure out why no one will be my boyfriend. Please help:)
    I'm in middle, school and I have the same problem. Be glad your friends have faith in you. Most of my friends think I'm crazy. The rest have never told me I could get a date. Try asking one of your guyfriends if they catch a movie or something with you. See what happens. My guyfriends ethier aren't my type, too much of a friend, or they have a girlfriend. You sound like a great person, and I know you can get a boyfriend. I'll pray that you will find a special guy soon. And remember: The guy of your dreams could have been right there in front of you. Good Luck. You'll get a guy soon!
    Cassie101's Avatar
    Cassie101 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #20

    Oct 7, 2007, 04:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mandmo
    Hi,
    I am a high school student in need of love advice. I am a girl who does really well in school, is really good at sports, I'm pretty and extremely nice. I have a lot of guy friends, but no one has ever asked me out. I get whistles in the street and from strangers. All the girls tell me at school that I could get a guy in a second, and when I say I don't have a boyfriend everyone is shocked. :confused: What an I doing wrong. I see all these guys date these loser girlfriends and I wonder why they are never picking me. People say I am like a threat. Guys call be BARBIE but where is me KEN? I am just so lonely and sick and tired of trying to figure out why no one will be my boyfriend. Please help:)
    Well Maybe Guys Don't Like Barbie Girls.
    Or Maybe You Have To Ask A Guy Out yourself Because There To Shy And Conservative To Ask You Out.
    Or Maybe Guys Think if They Ask you Out That Your Going To Turn Them Down So If You Really like Someone That Badly Then You Should Go After Them And Just Don't Sit There And Wait For Them To Come Too You,I Hope This Helps you.

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