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Hitch21 · Sep 2, 2007, 10:46 PM

I have to force him or ask him over and over to call me. I don't understand why he doesn't call. I really don't know what to do anymore because I don't know what he is up to or where he goes or how he is doing. If I call, it will take a few calls before he calls me. I keep telling him that it is pissing me off and bothering me and he keeps saying he will change but nothing has changed.
What should I do, how can I make him understand how much it is affecting me and our relationship

s_cianci · Sep 3, 2007, 08:07 AM

Back off, give him space and stop calling him. Leave him alone for a while so that he has to chase you. Find other things to do with your time that don't include him.

nicespringgirl · Sep 3, 2007, 09:14 AM

I have to force him or ask him over and over to call me.

That's already a mistake you are making during a relationship. There are smarter ways to make him call you and if you FORCE him to do that, you are not giving him enough respect.
I understand what you concern, but try to find another way to communicate and back off for now.
It's good to keep some distance, make him feel that you are a jewel, he has to win you.;)

x2scorp · Sep 3, 2007, 03:02 PM

Ahh cat and mouse games. Make yourself very unreachable to him. He will get curious and call.

Hitch21 · Sep 3, 2007, 06:54 PM

I know I should... its just very hard for me right now, I neeed to get a lot of my chesst, we've been arguing, and I just want to end things... I don't want to disappear just to get his attention... I just want to talk to him and get things taken care of

Cher13 · Sep 14, 2007, 03:58 PM

I know exactly how you feel... everyone says to give him space and there probably right, but its hard, why should you half to go into hidding for your boyfriend to give you a call back, I'm sorry I have no answer for you but just wanted to let you know your not alone in that battel

talaniman · Sep 15, 2007, 06:34 AM

Reading your other questions, I wonder why your still in a relationship with this guy. It doesn't sound healthy or happy from the things you've written. I think you would be better off going to get your stuff, and finding someone who fullfills your needs better.

sarahjan · Oct 6, 2007, 01:34 PM

I know exactly how you feel I go through the same problem I would say men will never appreciate a woman and her feelings I swear I fell the same as you my boyfriends does the same stupid things will may God guide them the right way but I think we girls should ignore them for a while and see what happens because I think they think we are desperate for them I know it is very difficult not to call or just leave the relationship as it is but I guess we don't have any other choice

Sad Soul · Oct 6, 2007, 05:43 PM

Why should he start to answer your calls or to even call you, when you seem to allow this? I mean, you haven't left him. He knows he can get away with this... so why does he need to change again?

shygrneyzs · Oct 6, 2007, 06:06 PM

Someone who has to be forced into giving you attention - what is wrong with that picture? He is not there because he wants to be, he is not there because he loves you or respects you or desires your company. Do you see what is wrong with this guy?

Can you see how absolutely destructive this is to yourself esteem/self image/ego? Why do you think you deserve to be treated like he treats you? What has happened to you, in your past, that causes you to set yourself up for this kind of pain and humiliation from him?

I truly believe you need some professional help. You have got to have some inner issues that you may not even be aware of, on the conscious level. But my dear girl, you deserve so much better for yourself. So much better and this guy is not that. This guy is in the gutter and you need to be reaching for the stars. He is not going to be there to help you.

I do not mean to be harsh, just honest. Give yourself some credit for knowing that the ways things are, are not the way they should be. Seek some counseling and get your head put back together. Do not contact him ever again. Do not call him, do not email him, do not stop by his place, or ever talk to his friends. Just eliminate any contact for at least a month. You can do that. Mark it on a calendar. One day at a time.

If he calls you, do not answer right now. You are not strong enough to handle that. Please go and find a good person to talk to; a counselor, a pastor, someone you trust to hold your confidences. Good luck to you.

shannenkatherine · Oct 7, 2007, 06:02 PM

I personally think that you really should play hard to get . He's going to get back to you when he feels your not interested. It is kind of hard to back off but it's the best thing to do for better relationship trust me =) *

GeniusfromGeniusHell · Oct 7, 2007, 06:33 PM

We chase what runs, and run from what chases. Human nature sucks. However, the cat and mouse game is only healthy at the onset of a relationship when you are establishing boundaries. If he still acts that way after the relationship is well under way, getting him to chase you will only temporarily solve the problem that is his lack of interest.

Decide whether he has a good reason for his actions without deluding yourself, and then decide if you want to keep going the way you have been. Sounds like you aren't happy that way, and so... I try not to give concrete decision advice. Just be honest with yourself.

sarah1989 · Oct 7, 2007, 06:43 PM

I went through the same thing and it is so so true..
Ignore him and trust me he will come running...
I used to ring and message my ex all the time and hardly got a reply
As soon as I stopped he got the picture and got his friend to call me up to asking if I wanted to go see the monster trucks. I said yes and yeah
Just give it time he'll be running back in no time trust me it is hard very hard but you have to do it.