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Wonder1984 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:22 PM

Okay!

I meet a girl at a club a while ago and we really hit it of. It was so great and we kissed and hugged like crazy. All we could talk about while walking home was how great it was to meet each other. And similarity after similarity came up. We love the same musik (very unusual for me... never happened before), we have the same intressts and style. It was so great.

So we came home and went to bed and she said she´could stay cause she had to get up early. So we just laid and cuttled and kissed and felt each other with our clothes on.

The day after my friend comes up to me and askt what the hell I am doing!?

Turns out she is 16 and I am 21 very soon 22.

So what do you guys think. I know a relationship is impossible since we are in SUCh differnet phases of life. But what about friends with bennefitts. I mean I don't want to take advantage of he or any thing. It's just that I really like her and she really really likes me.

What should I do?
Is it a discrase to have sex?

J_9 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by Wonder1984

Is it a discrase to have sex?

Yes, it is. Especially if it is illegal in your area of the world. You could be charged with statutory rape and carry the label of child sexual predator for life.

Move on... You are in two totally different stages in life.

Stringer · Sep 2, 2007, 01:40 PM

Absolutely move on! I agree with J_9 the laws in this country are explicit. You have to use you head this is BIG trouble for you.

ScottGem · Sep 2, 2007, 01:40 PM

Wake up you pervert! Ok now that I have your attention, have you ever heard the term jail bait? You don't say where you are from, but in some areas 16 is under the age of consent. Even in places where 16 is at or over the age of consent, there is often a qualifier based on the age difference. So you could be opening yourself up for a statutory rape charge.

I almost think this may be a put up job, since there are several other threads where the question is just the opposite. The questioner wants to know if its OK to just date someone out of their age range and expresses an undying love for the other person.

Yet you admit that you think a relationship is impossible. Then you say you don't want to take advantage of he, just have sex with her! You don't think that's not taking advantage??

Give me a break! Either this is put up job, or you actually may be compatible with her because you are acting like a child. I would suggest that you never see this girl again since you don't deserve her. If she does contact her, tell her you didn't know how young she was and to stay out of jail you have to stop seeing her.

Wonder1984 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:44 PM

Wow sorry if I offended someone.

Yes I am not that grown up and I enjoy life as I was still a kid.
So your probably right there.
Isn't illegal her but it is very moraly wrong for me... she just such a great person.
But thanks for clearing this up for me.

But can we be friends... I mean we get along really great.

J_9 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:47 PM

Look, if you think a relationship with a 16 year old is possible at your age, then you are a pervert. Sorry to offend, but it's the truth.

You may not be grown up mentally, but by law you are grown up. Time to face facts.

Look, she's 16, she probably doesn't like the same kind of music you do, etc, she was just trying to impress you. Wow, it's great for young girls to have an older guy have the hots for her.

One good idea would be to ask her daddy if you can have sex with her. See what HIS reaction is.

Wonder1984 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:51 PM

Okay ill just cut her out then...

J_9 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:52 PM

Very good idea.

Wonder1984 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:55 PM

Thank you!

Just one question... if I meet her again in 10 years and we still have a great time.
Would that be wrong?

J_9 · Sep 2, 2007, 02:00 PM

No, that would not be wrong, you would be closer mentally than you are now.

Currently you two are in totally different life stages. In 10 years that will be much different.

ScottGem · Sep 2, 2007, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by Wonder1984

thank you!

Just one question... if i meet her again in 10 years and we still ahve a great time.
Would that be wrong?

I don't think you have to totally sever relations. I woud suggest to her to keep in touch, maybe via e-mail or letters and try getting to know each other. In 2 years, when you are both semi adults you can see if you can pick it up.

Stringer · Sep 2, 2007, 04:15 PM

With all respect ScottGem, I think he should leave her alone completely and maybe in a few years if things are right try to connect her then. At this stage I think he is asking for big trouble.

talaniman · Sep 2, 2007, 06:04 PM

What's a 16 year old doing at a club in the first place?? Dude, stay away from her at all costs. She is jailbait and big trouble.

Xrayman · Sep 3, 2007, 04:52 PM

mm a bit harsh some responses, however some valid questions like what is she doing in a club and is this just for her kicks, as well as yours? Well. If there is something more than lust between the two of you-you need to v=come to a REAL agreement, no sexual relations including hugging etc. (whatever you want to call it) until she is of legal age (in your city/town), otherwise you are on rocky ground relationship wise and legal-wise.

But in saying that-I still feel that there may be a sprak(legitamitely) between the two of you, but you will have to wait bfore you can prove this situation.

regards,

statictable · Sep 3, 2007, 11:45 PM

If only Winston were here.

templelane · Sep 4, 2007, 01:49 AM

This doesn't seem an all that unusual situation to me.
Before I continue I'd like to point out 16 is legal in my country.

My immediate friends are all about 20 to 22ish.
They bring back 16/17 year olds from clubs all the time. It happens, I have no idea how they get in, but the do act and look older than their birth certificate suggests, it's an honest mistake on my friends part. I think everyone is being a little harsh to the OP. If it was 18 and 14 I'd say yes let him have it but I feel this is a grey area.

Although the relationships so far haven't lasted that long (except the girl-girl ones) because I they get too many cracks about how they are not allowed to watch horror movies that are 18s.

I had a friend who dated a 22 year old (with her parent's blessings) when she was 16. She was especially mature for her age, he was a bit of a runt, they are still happily together now - I hope I get invited to the wedding. So I know it can work and it's not always a predatory situation.

They may be both at different stages of life or they may not. I know a lot of 22 year olds who are quiet clearly still 16 inside working an extending Saturday job obsessed with their mobile phones living with mum. Can't say I'm best friends with them, but there you go.

As for the 'friends with benefits' thing now that is deplorable! Stupid, half arsed trouser snake reasoning.

I think he should stay away from her but not on the knee jerk reaction of the age.

smoothy · Sep 4, 2007, 05:31 AM

Avoid her like you would a crack ho... any 16 year old girl that lies like she did is trouble on two legs.

ScottGem · Sep 4, 2007, 05:48 AM

Originally Posted by templelane

I think everyone is being a little harsh to the OP.

As for the 'friends with benefits' thing now that is deplorable! Stupid, half arsed trouser snake reasoning.

I think he should stay away from her but not on the knee jerk reaction of the age.

I think that was the point of the harsh reaction. If the OP had said that he just wants to date her I think the reaction would have been different, I know mine would have been.

talaniman · Sep 4, 2007, 01:39 PM

Have we all forgotten that we parents call the shots for these minors that think they can do what they want, when they want, with whom ever they want?? Who cares what the law of the land is, in my house I"M the law and the provider of roof and food. I don't care what number you come up with. That's the bottom line, and no KID can change that.