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    cornedbeef's Avatar
    cornedbeef Posts: 152, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 1, 2007, 06:39 PM
    Guilt at having an affair. Years ago, but just like yesterday Guilt Guilt , Guilt
    I got married in 1992 after being with my partner for about 18 months , life was good. I found out I was pregnant, our daughter was born the same year. It wasn't long before I felt lost, alone and just an object that was there to look after and care for our daughter. He probably never meant to be like that ! I had a couple of yrs of upset and feeling useless . Then I met someone who listened . That was my downfall . I had an affair. I also found out I was prenant. Iknew my husband was the father . I still continued the affair. I have so much guilt because I feel I should have stayed with my husband. My children still want me to be with their dad. How do I get over the guilt that I'm feeling.\
    This is a message from my partner who obviously does not realise that there are people who care. Come on you ladies out there, help my partner.She does not believe that people exist that have been through something like this.
    She needs to know that sites exist like this to help. Can you please respond to this to make her realise she is not on her own.
    Thanks
    Richard
    kt1205's Avatar
    kt1205 Posts: 125, Reputation: 4
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    #2

    Sep 1, 2007, 06:44 PM
    I'm a bit confused. But the one having the affair should be with who they love. The kids should get the opertunity to see their father. And you should speak to them about it and try to get them to know that your doing what makes you happy and try to make the children happy and maybe still talk to their father as a friend. If you and the child's father argue a lot about it NEVER do that in front of the children. But do talk to them and try to get them to understand
    cornedbeef's Avatar
    cornedbeef Posts: 152, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Sep 1, 2007, 06:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cornedbeef
    i got married in 1992 after being with my partner for about 18 months , life was good. i found out i was pregnant, our daughter was born the same year. it wasnt long before i felt lost, alone and just an object that was there to look after n care for our daughter. he probably never meant to be like that ! i had a couple of yrs of upset n feelin useless . then i met someone who listened . that was my downfall . i had an affair. i also found out i was prenant. Iknew my husband was the father . i still continued the affair. i hav so much guilt because i feel i should have stayed with my husband. my children still want me to be with their dad. how do i get over the guilt that im feeling.\
    This is a message from my partner who obviously does not realise that there are people who care. Come on you ladies out there, help my partner.She does not beleive that people exist that have been through something like this.
    She needs to know that sites exist like this to help. Can you please respond to this to make her realise she is not on her own.
    Thanks
    Richard
    Sorry I am still a new user. I am sorry for posting on here but I would like my partner to know that there is help out there. She finds this hard to believe as I did with self help groups. My ignorance was my problem. It would be nice if she could read the fact that people do care. She may well join this extremely helpful group of folks that make us feel like we belong somewhere.
    cerisa's Avatar
    cerisa Posts: 247, Reputation: 71
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Sep 13, 2007, 12:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cornedbeef
    i got married in 1992 after being with my partner for about 18 months , life was good. i found out i was pregnant, our daughter was born the same year. it wasnt long before i felt lost, alone and just an object that was there to look after n care for our daughter. he probably never meant to be like that ! i had a couple of yrs of upset n feelin useless . then i met someone who listened . that was my downfall . i had an affair. i also found out i was prenant. Iknew my husband was the father . i still continued the affair. i hav so much guilt because i feel i should have stayed with my husband. my children still want me to be with their dad. how do i get over the guilt that im feeling.\
    This is a message from my partner who obviously does not realise that there are people who care. Come on you ladies out there, help my partner.She does not beleive that people exist that have been through something like this.
    She needs to know that sites exist like this to help. Can you please respond to this to make her realise she is not on her own.
    Thanks
    Richard
    Seems as if you want to work this out. If you are sorry for what you did, apologise to the one you wronged . Then go on with your life. Dwelling on this can do nothing about what is past, and robs today of its potential.Life is too short. Make today the best you can.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
    Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 13, 2007, 12:13 PM
    Before you can move on, you have to FORGIVE yourself. If your partner is supportive, and has forgiven you... don't look back. Just don't.

    Regrets are something to learn from, not to dwell on, and living in the past prevents you from enjoying the here and now!
    cornedbeef's Avatar
    cornedbeef Posts: 152, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Sep 13, 2007, 01:35 PM
    Hi, thanks for your posts. I just have to say that my partner posted this on my profile so to speak. I offered to set up one for her but she just wanted to get it off her chest at that low moment and so she posted on mine. I have shown her your responses and she would like to say thanks to you all. Perhaps I can persuade her to join too. I think it would be good for her.
    Thanks again Richard

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