[Wildcat21]

This is an e-mail from David Deangelo. He is 1000% correct here. Guys - LEARN from this. It's long BUT almost EVERY guy here does this...

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,

I recently bought your ebook because I have met a
Girl that I am really into and I must make it work
With her. You are probably busy but Im going to
Give you the background story of this and maybe
You will have some specific advice for me.

I met this girl M. in July through a friend
Online. We got to know each other some and after a
Few weeks she came to watch my friend and I at a
Basketball game that we were playing in, and I met
Her in person briefly that day. Unfortunately, I
Did not see her in person again that summer
Because I was back to college soon, so we talked
More online and it went very well. We really
Seemed to hit it off and had a lot in common and
We were definitely good friends. I made her laugh
A lot as we both said and did a lot of silly
Things (she likes that kind of stuff) and we
Continued to talk and get to know a lot about each
Other. I was very supportive of her and she was
The same for me and showed a lot of interest in
What I had to say. She wanted my phone number here
At college and I gave it to her, and we began to
Talk a few times in the evening by phone too. She
Also wanted my mailing address here and sent me a
Package with a card and some goodies that were
Related to some inside jokes we have with each
Other.

This is when I decided that I wanted to be more
Than a friend to her and make a move to tell her
Subtly my intentions. I just told her that I
Thought she was really cool and since we have a
Lot in common I was wondering if she wanted to go
Out sometime when I got back home for break. She
Really didn't have much of a reaction one way or
The other and just said that it would be fun. Well
Gradually things escalated and we spent more and
More time talking to each other online and by
Phone, and we exchanged pictures and packages all
The time and I opened up to her more and more and
Told her how I felt for her. I sent her roses to
Congratulate her and she liked that a lot. She is
Somewhat of a quiet shy girl, but she is really
Nice but also very hesitant. She has never been in
A relationship before, and the funny thing is that
This is true more or less for me too. I continued
To tell her my feelings for her more and she would
Only say that she felt the "same" or "me too". She
Said that she was worried that when I got to meet
Her more when I was home my feelings would not be
The same. So talking till nearly Thanxgiving, it
Was to the point where we knew almost everything
About each other that we could talk about, and I
Was really showering her with attention and
Compliments (I know, according to your teaching
This is wrong haha) and she just said that we have
To wait and see. I teased her telling her that
There were some dreams I had but would have to
Wait to tell her how they ended, and she said she
Would eventually open up to me. Well me got
Together finally over my Turkey break and I went
Over to their house for the evening after dinner
(I bought... youre probably saying "doh") and we
Watched movies. Their family seems to like me a
Lot by the way, and I have talked to M.'s sister
And mother on occasions before this. I asked if I
Could put my arm around her and she let me, and
Then before I went home we went for a short walk
And I held her hand to "keep it warm". Before I
Got into the car she gave me a hug and I invited
Her over for tomorrow, and that since we are an
Hour away from each other's house she could stay
The night to save time. So we had a good time
Thursday and she met my family, and we played
Games and movies and such, and I said she could
Sit with me in my couch where it was warmer and
She accepted. After the movie was done at about
2:30 am, I shut it off and we just lay there
Reclining. I started to stroke her arm and gently
Rub her hands, and then I went to her face and
Neck and hair, once in a while whispering in her
Ear and saying she smelt and looked good. She just
Lightly giggled, and rest her head on my chest but
She didn't really do any touching herself, but we
Got out of the chair at 6 am and slept till 9 am
And got up and had a fun day again playing games
And I showed her around town. We played footsie
Under neath the card table some but again it was
Pretty much myself doing all the showing of
Affection. We had a candle lit dinner that night
And I asked her if her doubts had been answered
Yet, and she said she knew how I felt but that I
Needed to get to know her more and that she just
Was hesitant and not able to open up as much as I
Am yet. She sat in the couch with me again Friday
Night and it was more of the same and then she
Went to bed at 3, but I couldn't sleep that night
Because I really wondered if I was maybe being too
Serious and forward for her. She wanted up at 6:15
And so I woke her up touching her face, and we lay
In my bed for about an hour with more of the same
Of me touching her, and then it came time for her
To get ready and say goodbye. I had asked her on
Several occasions over the week at what I felt was
The right time if she wanted to know how my dream
Ended (which we both know what it is hehe) but she
Said not yet and maybe later. I had written her a
Long note that night since I didn't sleep and I
Gave that to her out by her car and she gave me
Another hug and off she went. I flew back out to
School Saturday morning and I have been pretty
Sad, both because I miss her and because Im not
Sure if she feels the same way I do.

[Wildcat21]

It seems like she likes all the attention Im
Giving her that she has never gotten before, but
Only seems to reciprocate the same things I say
And she does not open up to me nearly like I have
To her. So I have decided I need to probably try
Another approach and start applying your methods
And see if that gets me anywhere. I will be home
For a break in a few weeks and Im hoping that she
Will start opening up to me then, otherwise I'm not
Sure I want to continue to keep giving myself to
Her like I have if she won't do the same. She does
Give me a lot of her time so I know she is
Interested, but I want her to start really being
Into me the way I have shown her. So Ive been
Reading your stuff and I think I need to loosen up
And tease her a little more and not shower her
With compliments, maybe once in a while, and I
Need to start talking to her less. I think I need
To be a little more indifferent but Im just not
Sure what exactly to do as far as how sweet I am
Supposed to be to her, and the right kind of
Attitude I need to have. I think I need to let my
"cocky and funny" side come out more but I don't
Want her to think I am not interested in her or
That I am a prick. Im thinking that I need to
Realize less is more, and give her opportunities
And such but make it sparingly and focus more on
Just being a fun person. Its been almost 5 months
Knowing her and there's a lot more I could say as
Far as details, but Im wondering that from what
You can get out of this if you have any specific
Advice for me? I appreciate it a lot man, and
Thanks for the book! Talk to you later.

Mixed up in Minnesota


>>>MY COMMENTS:


You might want to sit down for this.

Sit on a chair with ARMS on it so you don't
Fall off, OK?

It's VERY clear to me that you've become VERY
Emotionally attached to this girl... and that you
Like her very much (women all over the world are
Reading this right now and crying... ).

[Wildcat21]

And I know that when you really, really, REALLY
Like a girl, "things are different".

I know that this one is different from ALL of
The others... and that you don't want to risk
Doing something wrong with her... so you're not
Using any of the materials that you're learning
From me...

In fact, you're saving the things you've
Learned from me for "later"... just in case what
You're doing doesn't work in the end.

And even though I'm going to verbally beat your
for all of this in a moment, I want to let you
Know that I really do understand.

By the way, I'm only being this nice because it
Sounds like you're still pretty young, and have
Almost ZERO experience with women.

So don't get too used to this "kid gloves"
Stuff from me. Next time you write, I'm just going
To launch into it.

OK.

Here's how your letter started:

"I recently bought your ebook because I have
met a girl that i am really into and I must make
it work with her."

I smelled trouble before I was finished reading
That first sentence, man.

Here's what my gut tells me:

You sound DESPERATE.

You sound like the affection-starved human male
Equivalent of a hungry homeless kitten.

It's also clear to me that somewhere along the
Line in your life you got the idea that if you
Want to make a woman like you, that you should ACT
Like a woman.

This is a problem.

From your perspective (which I understand a
Little too well from your detailed letter), it
ALMOST looks like she might like you.

I mean, she's replying to everything you do in
A "mirror image" kind of way.

She's not stopping you.

And sometimes she does something nice in return
When you're sweet and thoughtful...

But you can FEEL that something just isn't
Quite "right" here.

Again, it ALMOST looks like she might like
You... and when you're in this situation, even
Small hints seem like they could be "the big clue"
That lets you know that she is just as in love as
You are.

But my guess is that this situation is much
Worse than you think.

In fact, I think that there's a very good
Chance that it's so bad... so, so bad... that it's
Probably a waste of time to try to "save" it.

I think that the "hints" you're getting from
Her are the behaviors of a sweet girl who doesn't
Like the idea of hurting you.

In other words, she's probably as far from
"into you" as a girl can be... but she loves you
As a friend, and cares about you as a person... so
She can't bring herself to look you in the eyes
And say, "Hey, you're acting like a girl and
you've destroyed all chances of me ever feeling
any type of ATTRACTION for you".

So let's talk about some of the things you've
Mentioned in your email...

The first thing that comes to mind is how much
ATTENTION you give her.

In the moment, giving someone attention, seems
Like a great thing. They usually seem to enjoy it,
And you know you're getting approval from them
Because they're still talking to you.

[Wildcat21]

The other little "hidden bonus" of giving
Someone a lot of attention, is that you know
They're not getting it from SOMEONE ELSE during
The time that you're giving it to them...

Which gives many people a false sense of
Security.

Heavy, man.

But I think it's time you started thinking of
This topic a little differently.

Think of attention, compliments, physical
Affection and emotional attachment like FIREWOOD.

A little at a time is perfect.

But if you put it all on at once, you're going
To burn the house down and destroy everything.

When you give a woman too much attention, you
Are communicating that you're OBSESSED.

In other words, you're almost the OPPOSITE of a
CHALLENGE.

Have you ever heard a woman say "I just met
this really sensitive, thoughtful, sweet guy that
calls me 100 times a day and sends me flowers and
cards and gifts... and I just can't stop thinking
about him..."?

No?

Me neither.

Surprise, surprise.

Women aren't INTO guys who are obsessed with
Them.

Women are INTO guys who are interesting,
Mysterious, challenging... guys who trigger
ATTRACTION in them, not AFFECTION.

Here's how YOUR mind is working right now:

"It feels good, so do it."

"She seems to enjoy it, so keep it up."

"I don't want to lose her, so I must continue
to smother her with attention."

"This is the only chance I get, so I must take
it to the max."

"If I don't do something, some other guy will,
and I'll be heartbroken."

Don't worry, this is how MOST guys think and
Act.

Hell, I did this stuff for years...

But here's what's probably going on in HER
Mind:

"He's always there whenever I want to talk."

"He's such a sweet, nice, caring guy."

"Maybe if I keep talking to him, I'll feel
something..."

"...But for some reason... I just don't FEEL IT
for him... and I can't make myself feel it..."

"I don't want to hurt him, so I'd better be
nice to him."

She probably feels a lot of guilt... because
Maybe she is thinking that she "led you on".

Here's something for you to think about:

"Getting, KILLS Wanting."

If someone gets something, or even knows that
They HAVE IT whenever they want it, that thing
Becomes much less interesting to them.

As a rule, we humans desire things that aren't
Easy to get.

We don't want the easy thing!

Just think about it, man.

The more you don't know how she feels about
You, and the more you try... the more you WANT
HER.

It's working on you, but you can't see it!

Here's the bottom line:

Going with your emotions, and confessing your
Love for a girl too early on isn't always as
"good" as it "seems" like it should be.

[Wildcat21]

If you smother her with too much attention,
she's going to run from you and go find a
challenging guy.

She's giving you all the "I really like you,
you're a sweet guy, I can't bear to break your
heart, and I DON'T FEEL IT FOR YOU" signals.

You need to carefully consider your situation,
and decide what you REALLY want.

She doesn't have experience with men,
relationships, and life.

And from the sounds of it, neither do you.

You're acting on emotion here.

You're not THINKING.

I didn't hear you say "Yea, well I've thought
this over, and it makes a lot of sense for her and
I to be together..."

You're acting like a textbook WUSSBAG, dude.
It's time to face that reality...

If you were in a court of law right now trying
to prove that you weren't a WUSSY, you would not
be able to provide even a shred of evidence to
support your case.

If the jury was made up of your Mom, Juliet
(Romeo's girlfriend), Celine Dion, Cinderella, The
Little Mermaid, Belle from Beauty and the Beast,
Michael Jackson, and all five guys from "Queer Eye
For The Straight Guy", even THEY would reach a
UNANIMOUS verdict:

WUSSY!

They might even ask you to provide evidence
that you're MALE... based on your testimony here.

And you've only got yourself to thank for it.

You did it all.

Here's something for you to remember:

Attention from a man can be like a DRUG for a
woman... even if she isn't attracted to him.

A woman will often allow a guy that is IN LOVE
with her to pour his heart out, confess his
feelings, and demonstrate his devotion... even
though she has ZERO INTENTION of feeling the same
way herself.

And if you have a young woman who has never
been in a relationship with a guy, this could be
an even BIGGER probability.

Here's my guess:

95% chance she's not into you.

5% chance she is into you, but she's just too
young, inexperienced, shy, or whatever to know
what to do about it... or maybe she has some kind
of strange religious programming that has
brainwashed her into thinking that she needs to
marry you before kissing you. But doubtful.

You're in one BI-ATCH of a situation.

You're emotionally attached to this girl, and
you "like-like" her.

She's emotionally attached to you, but she most
likely DOES NOT "like-like" YOU.

What you do here is your choice, but the
chances of something working out are slim-to-none,
because you didn't create ATTRACTION at the
beginning with this girl.

And even if there were some sparks initially,
your Wussy behavior has almost surely killed them
all off for good.

SOME GOOD NEWS

Now that I've dealt you the bad news, let's
talk about the future.

Let's talk about what you can learn from this
experience.

And let's talk about how to use what you've
learned to make your life great in the future.

And who knows, maybe after you get your act
together, and this girl gets a little bit of life
and relationship experience, you just might get
lucky and meet her in an airport and she'll
forget what a girly-man you used to be...

Actually, probably not.

But it was a nice thought.

In the future, if you are "interested" in a
girl, you must remember to be a MAN around her.

Women feel ATTRACTION for "MEN".

[NeedKarma]

Dude, you have way too much free time.

[Wildcat21]

On the other hand. They feel AFFECTION for
"nice guys" that wind up becoming FRIENDS.

Instead of waiting until the very end, when you
Are convinced that a woman isn't into you, before
Doing what you're learning from me... do it from
The BEGINNING.

You must SPARK the ATTRACTION right from the
Start.

You can't wait until the end, man.

What you were doing was like trying to take all
The ingredients of a cake and bake them, then mix
Them.

It doesn't work that way.

In the future, you need to do the right things,
In the right order.

You've learned a valuable lesson. So appreciate
What you've learned... even though it's hard.

You're off to a good start now that you've read
My eBook... but it really sounds to me like you
Need to REPROGRAM YOUR MIND.

It sounds like you need a complete overhaul of
Your thinking.

It sounds like you need a major DE-WUSSING,
Followed by a ground-up education on how to think,
Act, and communicate in a way that makes women
Feel ATTRACTION for you...

You NEED to get yourself a copy of my Advanced
Dating Techniques program.

There's just no two ways about it.

You wasted probably ten times as much time,
Energy, money, and emotional distress in this
Relationship as you would have invested in getting
And learning from my program.

And it would have not only saved you a lot of
Time and money, but also the damn emotional PAIN
That you're having to endure.

Take it from me... I've been in your shoes.

I know what it feels like to be doing every
Possible thing and giving as much as humanly
Possible... only to have a girl respond by saying
"I don't know how I feel" or "I just think we
should be friends".

It sucks.

But it doesn't have to be this way!

If you will invest in yourself and do yourself
The favor of getting this education, you can take
Control of this area of your life... and avoid
Situations like this in the future.

[hpd4]

You have too much free time. Don't stay on the computer too long your vision will die out then, the next morning you wake up you will shout "IM BLIND!!!!!" LOL. Could you summurize? I didn't even read half of the first thread.

[fredg]

Hi,
When someone writes something this long, do you really, really think many people are going to have time to read all this? Maybe a couple.
If you want to get a point across, keep it clear, short, distinct and to the point.
It's WAYYYYYY toooooo longgggg.

[Matt3046]

Yeah it was like a amateur porn storie that never really got going. All I know is that she is not into you.

[Matt3046]

Some advice, flirt with her friends, maybe one of them will like you.

[Xaniz]

This is great but I have the attention span of...

[Jiser]

All good and relevant!

[Xaniz]

wow you read all that ^^?

[Jiser]

Sure :) I have a lot of ebooks, the whole 12 hours of DD video series, + numerous books on relationships etc. I read it all! Better to know your sh*t young than in ten years time.

[NeedKarma]

I cannot read stuff that badly formatted. Skinny margins, no paragraphs, etc..
No respect for the reader In my opinion.

[notcoolenough]

Wow. I am actually very glad I read that whole thing. It is so true. I hope more guys actually will read this rather than make immature comments about how long it is. REAL MEN DON'T READ I HAVE A BIG PENIS MACHO MACHO ME. Thank you for posting this. I think I am going to wast emy energy and time being a complete jackass now and leave unconstructive comments on other peoples posts because that is cool to do and I don't have a life.

[JonLR92]

Yeah that's true, I read the whole thing its worth it.

[Jiser]

Its all true :( Of course easier said than done when you have come out of a heart breaking breakup at an early age for the first time etc. But with the whole life ahed of you you can learn from it and take note for the future. Learn to put up boundries and have respect for yourself, I think those two are going to be key for me from now on.

[BEEN THERE]

Hey I think my husband must have read your book or one similar! Although some of this is true and accurate, please guys don't take it too far. Sex should never be rationed. The more we get the more we want!