[justjamestx]

Actions speak louder than words. When you get tired of talking about it, then move it to the actions. Not saying divorce, but perhaps demanding a few changes, move out for a while. As you realized, and Wildcat mentioned you are his mommy, and this must stop. The longer you go taking on the role of doing all the work (ok,, 99% of the work) then the more the hate will build up for your husband. I have a female that is my best friend in the very situation and has been for about 6 years now. She has given and given and given, but there is no more to give to him. She is still with him to this day and is very unhappy, but she is almost finished with her degree (she waited till her kids were in school to go back to college,, didn't won't to inconvienance her hubby by expecting him to help at all). My suggestion would be to demand help and respect or just take some time out, move away or in with some friends or relative for a while to let him you mean business. You mentioned that you have tried the talks, and well now perhaps you need to take it to the next level. Perhaps he will realize once you move out,, or kick him out,, but if he never realizes and makes the change then you will be much happier in the long run to have at least tried the "Tough Love" (a book by James Dobson) on dealing with such matters.

[mr.yet]

I desperately need help and advice about what to do about my situation.
I have been with my husband for six years and we have been married for three years. Does anyone have any advice about how I can get my husband to help me with everything. I am tired of doing everything. I do all the domestic homemaker things in our house and I take care of our two younger kids. He works full-time and helps pay for our bills but I work full-time too and go to school full-time. I need him to help me. I've told him plenty of times that I need him to help me with our home and children. But he just doesn't seem to get it. Does anyone have any advice for me? Other then "sit him down and seriously talk with him" because I've tried that and it doesn't work.

A marriage to a 50/50 contract, have him ante up or get out. I share in the daily running of the household, Yes I am a male whom was raise to have responsible. If you are not happy, than speak up daily if necessary... ANTE UP OR GET OUT!!

[BdeV]

I suggest you go on a two week holiday - he'll soon realise just how much you have been doing and be willing to help. He probably just doesn't realise how much you are doing. It's hard to see the world from someone's else's shoes..

[letmeno]

If you don't feel like having sex because you are too tired of working all day, studying for school, going to school, taking care of his kids, cooking for your family, picking up behind him, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. etc. then don't have sex with him. I am not saying use sex against him, I am just saying if he wakes up one day and his shirt isn't ironed or dinner isn't on the table a time or two then maybe he will get the hint. I was in a situation just like yours. I too am a full time student, and working a full time job and I have two children. My fiancé acted as if he was domestically retardid. I couldn't understand, I mean he had his own apt. when we met. Did he just forget how to make a bed and do laundry when he met me or what?! I had a talk with him to see just why he didn't do jack around the house to help me. His response was "I thought when me and you got together that I didn't have to do that stuff anymore." So I just stopped! I stopped cooking, cleaning, washing, having sex and everything. Me and my children ate dinner over my mothers house for 2 weeks, one day, I came home from work and the house was spotless! Dinner was on the table, all the linen had been changed, and all of the laundry had been not only washed but dried and ironed. Every now and then he will test me but we share all of the chores. I found out that he even cooks and cleans better than I do. Hope this helps... good luck!! :D

[rkim291968]

Have you tried stop doing everything? For example, let him run out of new underwears and if he complains, just tell him that you didn't have time to do the laundry and ask him to do his own. Just a thought. I know my wife used this tactic once in a while against me. :o