[xHypoCondriacx]

Me and my girlfriend are very much in love
I would want nothing else in the world but to have a child with the woman I love

But we both have different views towards parenting

My main priority is wheather or not we are ready for a child

I'm 20 years old, and she is 19 years old..

She says were ready... but I think different

So we thought we would come on this site to ask around
And get different views from everybody... so we have more to think about

So what do you guys and girls think, we need to do, to be prepared for a child
I think were to young, way to young..

I mean there's health insurance, money, school, medical, etc...

We can barely support ourselves...

There is no doubte she is the one for me...

I just don't think now is the best time

Please feel free to speak freely and gives us your view towards this

Thanks for your patience and understanding

Take care


vic & ash

[J_9]

Before I answer your question, are you over your addictions?

[xHypoCondriacx]

Yes I'am

[lilash07]

Hi, I'm 19 and in the same situation.. First of all, if you are planning to bring a baby into the world I think both of you should agree on it.. So I would say wait because you are so young and its just not something you need to take chances with.. I think that I'm pregnant and when I told my fiancé the news he was devistated.. He just says he isn't ready and its been really hard!! Second of all you need to be sure you can afford it, because its so important that your child gets everything it needs and you need to be sure you can commit to that.. I say wait a little while and then see if your feelings change. Because there isn't a worse feeling than being pregnant and alone. -ash

[J_9]

LOL, Damn my memory right?

In reading what you posted above, I do think you are too young. Children are EXPENSIVE!! And demand you time.

How long have the two of you been together? You have a long time to live yet.

If you can barely support yourselves how will you support a child?

If you think you are too young, you probably are. You need at least two years to make sure you continue to stay clean... no meth, no weed, etc.

[bekah876]

I think you already know the answer to this question, you just don't want to admit the answer just yet. In your post you did answer your own question. You are too young to have a child right now and you cannot support a child right now. If you are barely able to support yourself then you don't need to bring a baby into the situation.
Take some time. Get on your feet. Get emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially ready. Remember, a baby takes a lot of time and money.

[xHypoCondriacx]

I'm still open for more views on my questions, and thanks for those who replied

[Fr_Chuck]

I think it is not my place to make any choices for you, but it is something both of you should be 100 percent in agreement for.
I had my first at about 19 and another at 21, I love them both but basically my relationship with my wife was never the same and we had not lived together to become a strong couple before the kids came. We did not make it though all the kids and family issues on top of trying to be a couple also.

[stonewilder]

First of all if you love each other enough to have a child together why not get married first? Second if even one of you have doubts then you should wait. And third if you can't support yourselves then the added stress of buying baby formula, dippers and the doctor bills will make your happy life together a living h*ll. Along with all the joys in being a proud parent there are also many sleepless nights and once you have a child life is not about you anymore. It's all about the welfare of the child you brought into this world. I would suggest waiting a while but if you decide to have one you should talk to some young parents and maybe even try baby sitting just to get an idea of what it's going to be like. Also I would suggest you start preparing for the baby months, even a year before you even get pregnant. Eighteen years ago I had to fork up six hundred dollars when I was 6 months pregnant for a rocking chair, crib, changing table, high chair and bedding. That's not even counting all the other things I had to get before my son came like a car seat, clothes (that by the way they grow out of ever 2 or three weeks!). I can't even imagine what dippers cost now!
PS. I don't know what kind of an addiction you had but you want to make sure there is no trace of any drugs in your or your girlfriends system before you try to make a baby. It is the moral and right thing to do for the well being of your child.

[LearningAsIGo]

If you have no doubts that this relationship is a good one, than you can certainly wait to bring a child into this world. You want to love that baby and be there 100% emotionally, spiritually, fiancially, etc. You want it to have a great life and all the things in the world it would need, right? So wait until you can provide those things.

I've been with my husband since I was 20 (8 years) and we've always wanted a family. It's been hard, but we've waited because we wanted to be better prepared before we bring an innocent life into this world. In that time, I've come to realize I've grown up more myself and feel more prepared than ever to handle all the unpredictable things a baby will bring into your life. Have you thought about the chance of having a child with health issues? If that were to happen, would you be emotionally ready to deal with that? What if you had triplets? My point is, you never know what can happen. Babies aren't just cute, they eventually become teenagers... have you thought about being the parent to a teen? It would happen eventually!

On the opposite side, my sister-in-law started her family when they were 19 and 20. They wanted to be young parents that got the kids out of the house by the time they were in their 40s. Now they're 29 and 30 with kids that are 10, 7, and 10 months. They love their kids but never had a chance to enjoy being young, which they regret now.

Its up to you of course, but at such a young age it might be wise for you to wait. Children are a struggle that is sometimes easier to handle when you're more prepared.

[MarMar27]

Hi, I'm 19 and in the same situation..First of all, if yall are planning to bring a baby into the world I think both of you should agree on it..So I would say wait b/c yall are so young and its just not something you need to take chances with..I think that I'm pregnant and when I told my fiance the news he was devistated..He just says he isn't ready and its been really hard!!!Second of all you need to be sure you can afford it, b/c its so important that your child gets everything it needs and you need to be sure you can commit to that..I say wait a little while and then see if your feelings change. Because there isn't a worse feeling than being pregnant and alone. -ash

I agree with little ash you should make sure that this is something that the both of you really want and babies are not cheap.. I am 9 months pregnant at the moment and its been a rollercoaster I have been by myself my whole pregnancy I thought my partner would be here for me and have my back but it was the complete opposite there has just been so much stress involved because it was a surprise and we both weren't ready and he defitnetly wasn't especially financially.. so make sure you make this decision the right way because a baby is a lot of responsibility and being pregnant is a wonderful thing but it's better when your completely ready.

[automansgirl]

I definitely say wait. I think it is awesome that you both are trying to look at this situation from all sides. Now, with that said, I think you should take your time and get to know youselves and each other. I'm sure you feel that you already know each other, but you are both still very young and don't quite know who you are. I'm only 24, and I still see changes in myself that I never thought I would have seen a year or two ago. I've been married and divorced, and even though my ex was almost 8 years my senior, I still didn't know who he was after 4 years of marriage. One of the best things that my now husband and I went through was him traveling for work for a year. We had to have open and honest communication, we learned to trust each other, and we learned who we are. I was ready to have a child when I was 18, but my ex wasn't, therefor I wasn't. You need to at least know who you are. I am a stay at home wife, soon to be mom, and I want that job more than anything. Sometimes I still question if that is the career I want. I didn't have a clue that was for sure what I wanted until shortly before my hubby and I decided to get pregnant. I've been through so many careers I don't think I can count them. Go to school, get a good education, get a good job that you are happy with. Then start thinking about the next step. If you truly love each other that much you can definitely wait. You will appreciate the time you have with each other now, and you will grow so much closer. Children can pull you apart if you aren't both ready for it. Another point... you both have to be ready to love each other more than you will love that child. If you can't do that you will grow apart. The child will become the most important thing in your lives, and you will soon begin to forget about one another. Isn't that why we have children? To share in the creation of a life with the person you love more than anything. Make sure you are both ready. It is so much more than being financially ready! Good luck with your decision, and make sure you keep the communication open. You will know when you are both ready!

[talaniman]

If this relationship can survive 3 more years, go for it. Not NOW.

[lauralee82]

I think it's incredibly awesome that you love each other and want to be with each other. I do however think that if you have any doubt in your mind that you aren't ready to have a child then you shouldn't. Im almost 25, I'm a nurse and make awesome money but I still don't think I'm completely prepared to have a child. I think you should be concerned with education and preparing your future before you have a child and are working only toward their future.

[xHypoCondriacx]

Well thank you all for your opinions, The way I see it, If its meant to be, Its meant to be"
I love her, She loves me, It feels right, I'll do what it takes to support my child and my fiancé, So as long as I love, and support my child and my fiancé, Im confident things will go for the best, As I said to you all, I do appreciate your feedback, And I thank you for your time to listen to what I have to say, We both thank you, Topic closed.

[ang8318]

This is a decision that you have to make yourself. My husband and I are 25 and have a 2 month old son, he is gorgeous and brings so much joy to our lives. But it took us about a year to decide that we wanted to have a child. Keep in mind how expensive they are, and how much your life will change. I did not realize the changes that had to be made. No more late nights out, because if he's not in bed on time he's cranky, the days are gone when we could just pick up and go... but that's OK with us. My point is that I do not believe that age matters when it comes to having kids (to some degree) it depends on where you are in your life, financially and emotionally. Just make sure that you look at parenthood from all angles before jumping in. Hope this helps!