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vriggs63 · Aug 18, 2007, 04:52 AM

What isyour opinion of this May-December relationships. I am 63 years old and my girl is 27. At this time we are in a very long distance relationship by Instant Messenger, phone sometimes, and e-mail. We have only seen each other through photos. I know my feelings for her are strong and true. She says she loves me and wants to be with me only. Everything she has told me has checked out. Any thoughts anyone?

swirlgirl · Aug 18, 2007, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by vriggs63

what isyour opinion of this May-December relationships. I am 63 years old and my girl is 27. At this time we are in a very long distance relationship by Instant Messenger, phone sometimes, and e-mail. We have only seen each other through photos. I know my feelings for her are strong and true. She says she loves me and wants to be with me only. Everything she has told me has checked out. Any thoughts anyone?

You need to ask yourself several questions... please don't be offended.

1. Why would such a younger woman want an older man? Is it for your money? Or does she perhaps look to you as a "father figure"? Does she have young children and perhaps looking for someone to "take care" of her and her kids?

2. The pictures she has sent you may not actually be her or could not be a current picture of her... you said you checked her out. Are the sources you used reliable?

3. Do you have plans to meet? Do you both want the same type of relationship? Marriage, pen pals etc.

4. Please do not send her money...

May-December relationships can and do work out... my second husband, was 10 1/2 years younger than me, my first only a year younger... but for the woman to be older is not as common.

Please be careful and if your feelings are so strong... it would be time to meet face to face.

RubyPitbull · Aug 18, 2007, 05:34 AM

Vriggs, I highly recommend you really pay attention to what swirlgirl is saying. Yes, May-December relationships do work. I am living proof of that. My late husband was 25 years older than I. But, we met face to face through a mutual friend. Our relationship progressed from friendship to love and marriage over a period.

You need to be very careful when you are dealing with love over the internet. There have been a number of people who have been used by other people only looking to gain easy money. They prey on the person's loneliness. DO NOT send her any money. If her intentions are true, she should be working and managing her money accordingly, never asking you for a penny. So, if she asks you to wire money, pay for a plane ticket for her to visit you, or if you visit her and at some point down the road she requests your help to pay her rent or has some out of the ordinary problem that requires her to get money fast to get her out of a jam, DO NOT give her any money. I would never have dreamt of asking my husband to help me financially at any time. Only dishonest people do that. So, please, for your own sake, let your head rule here and not your heart.

vriggs63 · Aug 18, 2007, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

vriggs, I highly recommend you really pay attention to what swirlgirl is saying. Yes, May-December relationships do work. I am living proof of that. My late husband was 25 years older than I. But, we met face to face through a mutual friend. Our relationship progessed from friendship to love and marriage over a period of time.

You need to be very careful when you are dealing with love over the internet. There have been a number of people who have been used by other people only looking to gain easy money. They prey on the person's loneliness. DO NOT send her any money. If her intentions are true, she should be working and managing her money accordingly, never asking you for a penny. So, if she asks you to wire money, pay for a plane ticket for her to visit you, or if you visit her and at some point down the road she requests your help to pay her rent or has some out of the ordinary problem that requires her to get money fast to get her out of a jam, DO NOT give her any money. I would never have dreamt of asking my husband to help me financially at any time. Only dishonest people do that. So, please, for your own sake, let your head rule here and not your heart.

Thank you both, swirlgirl andRubypitbull! I appreciate your thoughts and advice very much.
Yes. I am aware of all the dangers and pitfalls of the online dating/relationships. I have a good friend that met his wife of 10+ years online in the Ukrane. They wasn't near as much age difference with them but as he says "Look at me and then look at my wife. Then you will agree all things are possible."
1. We are both ready for a face to face meeting. We have agreed at my insistence to wait for a few months longer for this. We are both wanting the same long-term permanent relationship. As for the sources to check on her I have mainly checked all that she has said about the charity that raised her and that she is now employed by. I am still checking more.

2. yes, there is the "father figure" element in the relationship since she was raised and educated in an internationally recognized charitable orphanage. I have checked it out. They are worldwide. I have made her very aware that I am a retired blue collar guy that still works part-time to make ends meet. She has never been married and has no children.

3. The photos are fairly recent, as the year of the autos in the background of one verifies. One never can be totally sure of photos until you actually meet face to face. Photos could be os a friend or someone. Of course in that case, it would be impossible to continue because I can't be with a liar/deceiver.

4. No money ghas been asked for or offered. When I told her I was just a working stiff and not wealthy at all she responded saying that was not her interest in the least and that she had a little money saved back. For me not too worry about that.

Thanks again. I will take things as fact always watching for any signs that would lead me to suspect otherwise. I work hard at trying to balance my heart and my brain in the game of love.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

RubyPitbull · Aug 18, 2007, 06:21 AM

Well, you sound like a smart guy and you are doing everything you can to protect yourself. I really do hope that you find what you are looking for. :)

August13 · Aug 18, 2007, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by vriggs63

what isyour opinion of this May-December relationships. I am 63 years old and my girl is 27. At this time we are in a very long distance relationship by Instant Messenger, phone sometimes, and e-mail. We have only seen each other through photos. I know my feelings for her are strong and true. She says she loves me and wants to be with me only. Everything she has told me has checked out. Any thoughts anyone?

I strongly agree with the poster who said "Please do not send her money."

Fr_Chuck · Aug 18, 2007, 06:35 AM

Yes, you did not say where she is from, but it is very common for those in other nations to use the passport photo or photos of their neighbors kids or some a lady who is merely being paid for her info.

Normally the request for money will come at the time she is to travel, for airfare and passport, then bribe money to get this or that.
If you are getting serious, you travel to see her first.

vriggs63 · Aug 18, 2007, 06:37 AM

No, I will not be sending her money. If it cost 25 cents to get out of town I couldn't make it to the city limits!
Thanks for the answer though
I have been reading all I can on the dangers of online dating and what to look for and what NOT to do.
I do appreciate the opinions and advice.
Thanks!

vriggs63 · Aug 18, 2007, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Yes, you did not say where she is from, but it is very commom for those in other nations to use the passport photo or photos of thier neighbors kids or some a lady who is merley being paid for her info.

Normally the request for money will come at the time she is to travel, for airfare and passport, then bribe money to get this or that.
If you are getting serious, you travel to see her first.

Thanks, Friar_Chuck. That is what I plan to do. It's one reason I am insisting on waiting longer to meet.
One thing in my favor... if one hasn't much materially, one hasn't much to lose materially.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 18, 2007, 07:17 AM

I am not saying that all computer dating does not work, I meet my wife online, and we have been together for 10 plus years now. But then she only lived about 5 hour drive away. But then I know and have help dozens of stories on here about scams where they lose 1000's of dollars before they realise it.

vriggs63 · Aug 18, 2007, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I am not saying that all computer dating does not work, I meet my wife online, and we have been together for 10 plus years now. But then she only lived about 5 hour drive away. But then I know and have help dozens of stories on here about scams where they lose 1000's of dollars before they realise it.

I understand and have read many horror stories myself about scams involving lots of money and even deaths. So I am trying to be very careful.

Congratulations on the successful online dating and long marriage! My hat is off to you and your wife!