[ang777]

I'm dating a wonderful man and we have been together almost a year. The problem is that I get upset about stupid little things. My feelings get hurt easily and I in turn act pouty and differently towards my boyfriend. This eventually turns into a fight. I've jeopardized his trust a number of times by checking his cell phone. I don't know why... it's not like I've ever found anything to warrant being worried about our relationship.
Yesterday I got upset because I didn't feel like he wanted to spend time with me and it turned into a huge ordeal. He said that he is at the crossroads in our relationship and that if I don't chill out on this stuff, it's going to have to end. I don't want to lose him and I know that the problem is with me. How do I fix this so we can be normal again?!

[lmnotok]

Relax, and act peaceful, that's it!

And its not just for this relationship, ITS FOR YOU, for your own life to be easier and happier :)

[Chery]

Try and find out why you are jealous or insecure in this relationship.

Talk to friends you know and trust enough to tell you the thruth. Ask them why they think you might be acting this way.

Distrust usually comes from earning such, or from someone who is insecure in the relationship.

Communication is the key here, so talk to your BF and ask him for suggestions and get reassurance.

Good luck, dear and keep us posted.

[talaniman]

Have you tried counseling?

[talaniman]

Having a professional guide you through the process of understanding your issues and dealing with them can be quite helpful, I think. A pastor can be very helpful also.

[xfsketch]

I had a GF in college who had the same problem as you. It ultimately ended our relationship. She would constantly battle with me about how I never spent enough time with her. Well ask yourself this? Would you want to spend time with someone who is always in a down mood about themselves? I think you just need to try and understand that there is an obvious reason your BF is with you. If you reassure yourself with that you might be able to find it in yourself to feel happy about yourself enabling others (your BF) to be happy with you to. One must love themselves before they can love (or be loved) by others.

[FaithfullyYours]

Wow... I can relate to alot of what you are going through Ang.....I also kinda act that way towrds my BF as well.... Could I ask u why u feel as though ur insecure in the realationship?

I myself have check the cell phone, and found a msg that my BF was talking to some females..One imparticular sticks out where he was tryin' to get something...(not the booty).He even told her he loved her....I confronted and he basically told me that's why.
I forgave it....but it's one thing that he betrayed me on..

Does your BF say things and never come through with them? Why Do you feel like he doesn't want to spend time with you??

I've spoken to my BF about how I feel and want that reassurance as someone suggested to you, and all I get is GET HELP.YOUR AN IDIOT,STUPID,INSECURE LITTLE GIRL.....go back to so & so,you better act right with your next BF...( I know what a self esteem booster huh?)

anyhow....I am simply relating to what you are going through..At times I do think it is me,
but could it really be? I also have been in a previous relationship and he was volatile. I try not and let my previous relationship in the way and for the most part I think I've past that.

If one is gonna cheat, They will regardless if I,U,her,or him knows about each other or not...What is done in the dark will eventually come to light.. ( I know its hard,but wise)...

Just cause your past realtionship was bad,its something that you've went through, hopefully grown from...Its not an excuse....its part of you,ya know. It's taught me what I
don't want in a relationship.

although you may have left behind an insecure relationship, it stays with you. The insecurities that you had in one relationship will come up in another if you don't resolve it within yourself.(what I am working through.. Yeah I've actually saught professional help.)

I'm being taught that with all the emotions that I am going through...Once the most negative emotion is dealt with, the other emotions can be worked on and sorted out over time. This process of dealing with negative emotions at the root of insecurity needs to be addressed by the couple mutually. The partner of a person, who is insecure, needs to be supportive by offering them reassurance, love and understanding on their journey to moving past their negative emotions. ( i have always been with insecure men,always reassuring,nuturing,etc) Now I am not with an insecure man and I feel as though for whatever reasons... I am the insure one.....:(

Couples need alone time or time with friends just as much as they need to be together. What's important is that there is trust and accountability to one another as respect for the relationship.( MY BF don't think this....)He thinks the accountability is me wanting to get a BEAD on him.....TRACK HIM..(btw he always has access to me I don't always have it to him).

I guess if your partner is a cheatin' dog/biotch, then you have a decision to make.

If they are faithful, then as difficult as it might be, they deserves some trust.

What I've been suggested to do is to talk and share what your mutual standards are for the relationship when you are not together as a couple.

If he loves you and you present your feelings without accusing him of anything, if he's a quality guy and cares for your heart as he should, he should be understanding and do all he can to make you feel at ease, even if that requires mild sacrifice. So hard for a man to do...:cool:

I know it seems so easy.....Ugh...

anyhow... Hope anything I've said at least helps a lil...Keep In touch...
Funny thing... My name is Ang and 777 is a remarkable funny thing...

anyhow look forard to talking with u..

Good Luck Take Care..:D

[Leidenschaftlich für Wahr]

Don't worry, lots of girls are like that. Just understand that there are guys out there that don't mind, and if your guy didn't have anything to worry about then he wouldn't care how much you dug.
Im the same way, I have my husbands passwords to his email bank account and everything else. I check his phone, his room, his car, and call his friends. He minded a little at first but then he was just like you can look I don't care, I don't have anything to hide.
As soon as he did that, I quit doing it.
Honestly though, these things tend to develop from personal insecurities... but sometimes it gets to the point to where you might have to either (ergh) swallow those feelings...
Or learn to be alone.
By the way don't get caught up in the fallacy that you'll end up with a whipped guy that has no motive or drive... mines VERY driven, hard headed, and a very hard worker.

It just comes down to the fact that you have to keep looking