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XenoSapien · Aug 14, 2007, 08:29 AM

And so, with what you're saying, I can have my mail sent to my mothers house that is many states away from me for eight years. Even though I live somewhere else, that mail being sent there proves that I live there? No, it doesn't.

XenoSapien

ScottGem · Aug 14, 2007, 08:40 AM

No you are missing the point. She LIVES there. She gets mail there. She has a bed there. That is not trespassing. And, again, NO law enforcement agency is going to remove her under these circumstances.

You also forget the wife in this issue. She is part owner of the home. You think she is going to say her mom is trespassing? Please stop digging yourself in deeper and deeper. Learn to admit when you were wrong and you are dead wrong on so many counts here its ridiculous for you to keep trying to justify your wrong advice.

XenoSapien · Aug 14, 2007, 08:47 AM

Oh, OK, now the poster admits that it is the wife's house too. Yah, now that changes things.

XenoSapien

ScottGem · Aug 14, 2007, 08:52 AM

Even if he owned the home alone, it still wouldn't change the FACT that she has established residency.

XenoSapien · Aug 14, 2007, 08:57 AM

Ok, so in addition to sending all my mail to mom's, I also send a bed, clothing, personal items and other things, yet not physically be there.

So with all of that, am I a resident? According to what you're saying about his MIL, that proves residency. And I am saying that is incorrect, that there is no documentation to actually prove it.

Forget about items that belong to her; heck, they could be storing her stuff for her. That doesn't prove residency.

XenoSapien

Emland · Aug 14, 2007, 08:58 AM

If you and your wife are not in agreement to get MIL out, then you don't really have much of a chance of getting her out. You may want her out, but wife is on the title and she can grant permission without you.

You and your wife have given your MIL license to live at your house and she has established residency. IF you and your wife are in agreement then you can give her a 30 day notice to vacate the premises. Then if she does not, then get a court order and get the sheriff's department to get her out.

I can't see where tossing MIL out is going to help you with the wife. Perhaps family counseling and eventually an apartment for MIL that is not inside your home.

Emland · Aug 14, 2007, 08:59 AM

Xeno, you must understand that there is common sense and then there is the law.

They don't always have the same conclusion.

ScottGem · Aug 14, 2007, 09:33 AM

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

Ok, so in addition to sending all my mail to mom's, I also send a bed, clothing, personal items and other things, yet not physically be there.

So with all of that, am I a resident? According to what you're saying about his MIL, that proves residency. And I am saying that is incorrect, that there is no documentation to actually prove it.

Forget about items that belong to her; heck, they could be storing her stuff for her. That doesn't prove residency.

XenoSapien

And you are wrong. You are making things up as you go along and not dealing with the facts of this case or the facts of law. No, just sending some things to be stored in the home doesn't necessarily establish residency. But the OP stated the mother had lived in the home for 8 years. One does not reside someplace for 8 years without leaving a paper trail. As noted, she applied for a green card using the home as her place of residence. That ALONE would have been sufficient.

Criminal trespass is the willful incursion on private property without permission. The MIL had permission initially. That permission cannot be revoked so easily.

ordinaryguy · Aug 14, 2007, 10:04 AM

Xeno--
You're saying what's common sense and the Midwest cultural norm. Scott is saying what the law is. Two different things. When push comes to shove, the law trumps common sense.

Nttcar--
Your real concern is saving your marriage, not getting rid of your mother-in-law. On that subject, Emland gave the best answer so far:

I can't see where tossing MIL out is going to help you with the wife. Perhaps family counseling and eventually an apartment for MIL that is not inside your home.

Unless you and your wife agree that she needs to go, the MIL can stay. Agreeing with your wife is the prerequisite for getting her out. Legally, getting her out is impossible if your wife wants her there.

XenoSapien · Aug 14, 2007, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

Xeno--
You're saying what's common sense and the Midwest cultural norm. Scott is saying what the law is. Two different things. When push comes to shove, the law trumps common sense.

nttcar--
Your real concern is saving your marriage, not getting rid of your mother-in-law. On that subject, Emland gave the best answer so far:

Unless you and your wife agree that she needs to go, the MIL can stay. Agreeing with your wife is the prerequisite for getting her out. Legally, getting her out is impossible if your wife wants her there.

Ok. That's fair, ordinaryguy. But please consider this: A soldier who has been in Iraq for eight years. Before he left for duty, he left all of his stuff in his parents home.

Now, where is his residency and where does he live, his parents house? No. Because the U.S. government will tell you that he is fighting in Iraq; and if asked, they will show you proof. Hence, his place of residency is in Iraq, not at his parents home. Why? Because the U.S. government will show you a DOCUMENT; a contractual agreement that says he is. Do you see my point?

XenoSapien

XenoSapien · Aug 14, 2007, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

And you are wrong. You are making things up as you go along and not dealing with the facts of this case or the facts of law. No, just sending some things to be stored in the home doesn't necessarily establish residency. But the OP stated the mother had lived in the home for 8 years. One does not reside someplace for 8 years without leaving a paper trail. As noted, she applied for a green card using the home as her place of residence. That ALONE would have been sufficient.

Criminal trespass is the willful incursion on private property without permission. The MIL had permission initially. That permission cannot be revoked so easily.

Verbal permission only. That cannot be proven. Hence, trespass.

XenoSapien

ordinaryguy · Aug 14, 2007, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

Ok. That's fair, ordinaryguy. But please consider this: A soldier who has been in Iraq for eight years. Before he left for duty, he left all of his stuff in his parents home.

Now, where is his residency and where does he live, his parents house? No. Because the U.S. government will tell you that he is fighting in Iraq; and if asked, they will show you proof. Hence, his place of residency is in Iraq, not at his parents home. Why? Because the U.S. government will show you a DOCUMENT; a contractual agreement that says he is. Do you see my point?

No, I don't. The MIL has an established right of tenancy, therefore eviction proceedings are required to get her out, and that can't happen if the wife opposes it.

XenoSapien · Aug 14, 2007, 07:07 PM

Ok.

XenoSapien

ScottGem · Aug 14, 2007, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

But please consider this: A soldier who has been in Iraq for eight years. Before he left for duty, he left all of his stuff in his parents home.

But this scenario is not similar to the OP's situation. The MIL has lived in the house. They can't show she has lived somewhere else for all that time. She can show she has used the address as her residence. Neighbors may testify she has lived there. She has established residency. Give it up, you are wrong here, admit it and move on.

XenoSapien · Aug 15, 2007, 03:20 AM

Umm, I think I got the picture now, ScottGem. What would you have me do? Go to a confessional?

XenoSapien

ScottGem · Aug 15, 2007, 06:02 AM

No, just a simple; "I understand now, I was incorrect, sorry."

nttcar · Aug 15, 2007, 07:26 AM

I am still get confuse now, I know the bottom line is talk to my wife to save my marriage. But if I am going to divorce my wife I also want them to realize all the past 8 years I have been support her mom and she(MIL) has no right telling me she can stay in my house. That is the point I want to argure. I need the law to prove I am helping people not people once step in my house then I can not do anything. Now I been kick out the house and I need to see MIL poker face, if you were me what are you going to do .

ScottGem · Aug 15, 2007, 07:45 AM

Now I'm confused. If the house is owned jointly by you and your wife, and you plan on getting a divorce, then the disposition of the house becomes part of the divorce settlement. If you want the house and your wife and MIL out, then your attorney needs to ask for that in the negotiations.

If you just want your MIL out, then you have to get your wife to agree and if the MIL still refuses, then you have to file eviction proceedings against her.

Emland · Aug 15, 2007, 08:19 AM

nttcar: You have 2 different issues going on at the same time. You need to get straight with your wife whether you are going to reconcile or whether you are going to file for divorce. Once that is determined, you can move forward.

I think any counselor is going to recommend that you get MIL out. You wife is most likely either still tied to her apron strings or is scared of her. Finding MIL a new home would make your life as a couple better, IMO.

If you chose the divorce route, then either ask your attorney get her to either buy out your equity or sell the house and divide the remainder.

Either way, no more MIL. So, there is a silver lining there.

nttcar · Aug 15, 2007, 08:35 AM

Here is the option
1: save my marriage, then have both of them realize MIL need to move out if by law
2: If I chose divorce, I want to keep the house and continue pay the mortgage and have my wife and kids stay in the house but Can I have MIL out of my house ? That is really bother me