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ScottGem · Aug 14, 2007, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by angelbabyamt

i dnt think that its that big of a deal. I want to date a guy thats 20 n im 17..no matter wat age u are ppl are going to see a problem wit the age difference..but if this person means a lot to u than go for it...thats wat im doing. :}

There is a big difference between 17/20 and 14/19. I would still caution you to wait until you are 18, but as long as sex isn't involved and you are above the age of consent for your area, I don't see a major problem.

But advisiong a 14 yr old they can date a 19 yr old or vice versa is irresponsible. The age difference is way too great as has been mentioned over and over. Come to think of it, if you are so irresponsible, maybe its not a good idea for you to date a 20 yr old.

NalvaBabii · Aug 14, 2007, 08:02 PM

14 and 19 is a huge age difference!! But what about 15 and 18?

ScottGem · Aug 15, 2007, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by NalvaBabii

14 and 19 is a huge age difference!!!!! but wat about 15 and 18??

That's not as bad, but 18 is still an adult and therefore sex is a definite nono. I would still be cautious here.

talaniman · Aug 15, 2007, 06:15 AM

As a father no way my 14 year old gets to date, let alone a 19 year old and I don't care about the law or anyone's opinion. 18 and 15, still a NO in my house, and that's all that matters and any responsible adult who thinks its okay for a school girl to date a grown man, is an idiot and irresponsible. The OP should be asking her parents how they feel.

Flexel · Aug 15, 2007, 06:53 AM

Its not possible, I had gotten fixed up with a girl who was 14 when I just turned 18!! I did not know she was 14, until I started seeing a major immature side to her, and then I asked her how old she was, and she said 14, I soon hit the road, as soon as I could... trust me its not worth it, the hassle people will give you, plus it can cause the 19 year old a lot of problems. So if use really like each other, get in contact in 3-4 years time again, and see if your feelings are still the same, then by all means hit things off :)

Shaunta · Aug 28, 2007, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Excuse me?? Did you forget what this site is for? Its for people to ask for help in making a decision. If course it isn't our fault if the 19 yr old turns out to be a sex offender. But it would certainly be our fault if we encouraged the 14 yr old to date such a person, especially knowing what we know.

They came here asking for advice. We take pride in the quality of the advice we give. Giving advice to a 14 yr old to go ahead and date a 19 yr old is not quality advice. Its downright BAD advice. Its so bad it might be considered criminal!

I realize you are a confused 17 year old. Don't confuse others by giving them bad advice.

Right this site is for peoples opinions... you were able to put how you feel about the situation so why can't she? She is entitled to her own opinion as well as you are.

talaniman · Aug 28, 2007, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by Shaunta

right this site is for peoples opinions...you were able to put how you feel about the situation so why can't she?? she is entitled to her own opinion as well as you are.

Yes she maybe entitled to her opinion, but it was met with another, more responsible one(s), in my opinion.

ScottGem · Aug 28, 2007, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by Shaunta

right this site is for peoples opinions...you were able to put how you feel about the situation so why can't she?? she is entitled to her own opinion as well as you are.

Where did I say she couldn't post her opinions? The only thing I did say what not to post bad advice. And there is NO questions she was posting bad advice.

kt1205 · Aug 28, 2007, 05:47 PM

My boyfriend is only 2 years older than me but I don't see why it matters about age but I must warn you one thing: not all, but a lot of older guys don't really love a younger girl they more just want them for sex and because they think they are attractive. However, that isn't always the case and they really can love you. If it's one of those things when they're pretty much just using you I don't think that's right but if you truly believe you can stay with this person then age doesn't matter.

ScottGem · Aug 29, 2007, 05:24 AM

Originally Posted by kt1205

...i dont see why it matters about age but i must warn you one thing: not all, but alot of older guys dont really love a younger girl they more just want them for sex ....

Obviously you DO see why it matters at least at a younger age. It matters because, an older person going after a younger, minor, is usually trying to exploit the younger person. A younger person is often not mature enough to realize this.

That is why mature people will not encourage such a relationship. If there is true love, then they can wait a few years until both are old enough.

Treeny · Sep 1, 2007, 02:33 PM

I think that at 14 a lot of girls have crushes on an older boy, and boys older girls as well,
But it the older of the two that needs to refrain from the whole idea, if the older one wants to have a relashionship with someone that much younger then they must have some sort of probleam, maturity or other wise and that is when the parents need to step in.
The 14 year olds intentions are probably more inocent than the 19 yr olds.
6 yrs is a big diff at younger ages would the 14 yr old like a 8 tr old?
See what I mean Jay?

differentbutclassy · Sep 1, 2007, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by Jay15forever

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:

A) its illegal
B) she's too young
C)the 19 yr old probably isn't thinking straight

ScottGem · Sep 1, 2007, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by differentbutclassy

A) its illegal
B) shes too young
C)the 19 yr old probaly isnt thinking straight

As noted in several responses its NOT illegal to date a minor younger than oneself. But I agree with the rest.

danielnoahsmommy · Sep 1, 2007, 04:46 PM

I think that there is something wrong with a nineteen year old male or female that feels the need to date a fourteen year old. If it were a 24 year old and a nineteen year old it would appear proper.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 1, 2007, 04:53 PM

It is very simiple, most 19 year old want to be the first to "score" with thee 14 year old, heck some groups of boys even have contests to see who can make a score on a virgin first.

And to be honest not all 14 year old girls are the innocent angels we are trying to make them out either, I have dealt with 14 year old hookers already on the street, and 14 year old that look 19 and dress that way also.

But no a 14 has no business dating a basically grown man. And the 19 year old is dating for only one reason and we all know it.

MOWERMAN2468 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:42 PM

Well to answer both questions here, the original and xxmissconfusedxx's question. I feel that anyone under the age of 18 has no business dating someone that is not at least 17 1/2 yrs old. But that is just my opinion. And scottgem is correct, that is how a lot of younger girls end up missing their periods, and have the 9 month belly ache. Well , today's kids are wanting to go from 10 to grown, and for the most part, the world around them that we as adults allow them to see is encouraging such behaviour as this. I try and keep my kids away from negative influences, but you know as well as I do, they learn it at school, or somewhere, so all we can do is do our best, and try to guide them in the right direction. And if my 13 yr old daughter even had a 16 yr old boy calling on her now, I would do everything I could to prevent that relationship.

MOWERMAN2468 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:43 PM

Age is just a number, but the Law is the Law. More so on the MORAL law than the judicial law should be enough for you to see that it is wrong for a 14 and 19 yr old to be dating.

Rachel041286 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:50 PM

Originally Posted by Jay15forever

I think that age is nothing but a number. But I dont get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:

I'm 20 and I love a man who is 53. He's the most wonderful man in world! Age doesn't matter and don't let anyone tell you it does!! Or u'll regret it; like I do. I've ruined my life because I cared what other people think!

ScottGem · Sep 2, 2007, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by Rachel041286

I'm 20 and I love a man who is 53. He's the most wonderful man in world!! Age doesn't matter and don't let anyone tell u it does!!! Or u'll regret it; like I do. I've ruined my life coz I cared what other ppl think!!

So you would condone a 14 yr old dating a 19 yr old? At 20, you are pretty much an adult. And if you think you are in love with someone 53, at least you are both adults. But if you encourage a 14 yr old to get involved with a 19 yr old, then you are being as irrational as a 20 yr old in love with a 53 yr old sounds.

talaniman · Sep 2, 2007, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by Rachel041286

I'm 20 and I love a man who is 53. He's the most wonderful man in world!! Age doesn't matter and don't let anyone tell u it does!!! Or u'll regret it; like I do. I've ruined my life coz I cared what other ppl think!!

You're an adult and can do whatever you want but a 14 year old cannot. Can't you see the difference??