Check out some similar questions!

NeedsHOPE · Aug 11, 2007, 01:43 PM

I must say I can only compare my heartbreak to a death in the family. It literally feels like someone I loved dearly has died. And that's why I say I would take back my ex. Just as if someone you love died and God said do you want them to come back. You would say YES!! In someway it is a death. Gone are the plans you both made for the future. Gone is the companionship you had together. Suddenly you are left with the feeling that they are going to come walking through the door only to realize that never again will that happen. Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone ?

sully123 · Aug 11, 2007, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by NeedsHOPE

I must say I can only compare my heartbreak to a death in the family. It literally feels like someone i loved dearly has died. And thats why I say I would take back my ex. Just as if someone you love died and God said do you want them to come back. You would say YES!!!!!!!! In someway it is a death. Gone are the plans you both made for the future. Gone is the companionship you had together. Suddenly you are left with the feeling that they are going to come walking through the door only to realize that never again will that happen. Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone ?

My heart goes out to you. I am going through the same thing, my boyfriend of two years just broke up with me a month ago. I have cried, felt lonely and very depressed. I don't know what I did wrong. I tried talking to him two weeks ago, but it didn't work. Right now I am giving him space with no phone calls, no emails, no text messages, no nothing. This is not me, I am always the one that caves. I can't do it this time. I feel just like you, that I have lost everything, that person who was so close to me. You want them to give you the second chance. People say keep busy go out with friends, do things for yourself, but bottom line when you come home the loneliness is still there. It feels just like death. My heart goes out to you, try and be strong, you didn't say why you broke up...

chuff · Aug 11, 2007, 04:01 PM

You are not alone and that is the way you need to treat a break up. It's like a death and you deal the same emotional voids and the shock.

Chery · Aug 11, 2007, 04:05 PM

You are both right... it is like a death, and we do go through a mourning period.

In Scottland and Ireland wakes are celebrations to give the departed and send-off. Those that stay behind rehash the good memories.

Now, if we could do that every time we break up it maybe would be easier to cope.

But in a partner break-up, we are alone to mourn and forced to survive as best we can.

Hope your mourning period is not too long, dear.

Ash123 · Aug 11, 2007, 04:14 PM

Yes, it is a major emotional loss and upheaval.

But, you came to the right place.
These things take time... A few questions:

1) How old are you?
2) How long did you go all out?
3) Were you the breakee?
4) Was this your first break with this person?
5) Was your break up a total surprise?
6) Do you respect your (now) EX.
7) Did you both give equally to the relationship?
8) Was there any infidelity or drug/alcohol abuse involved in the last year?

Standing by...

Ash123 · Aug 11, 2007, 04:38 PM

PS - after 1-8 answered above --

Stop by here to see if any of this might be relevant for you: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html
(you may find #9 particularly relevant)

s_cianci · Aug 11, 2007, 05:27 PM

What you're experiencing is quite common. It's necessary to give yourself time to mourn and grieve the loss, just as you would with a death.

Terri Diegel · Aug 11, 2007, 07:11 PM

Things will get better... god won't close a door without opening a window

MissingHim2Much · Aug 12, 2007, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by Ash123

Yes, it is a major emotional loss and upheaval.

But, you came to the right place.
These things take time....A few questions:

1) How old are you?
2) How long did you go all out?
3) Were you the breakee?
4) Was this your first break with this person?
5) Was your break up a total surprise?
6) Do you respect your (now) EX.
7) Did you both give equally to the relationship?
8) Was there any infidelity or drug/alcohol abuse involved in the last year?

Standing by....

1. I'm 41
2. 8 yrs
3. yes he broke up
4. yes are first break up
5. yes a total surprise
6. yes I respect him for the fact I think he wanted to cheat but he said he would never do it while with me.
7. yes we had a good relationship
8. I'm not totally sure if there is now or not ( infidelity I mean)

LUK3Y · Aug 12, 2007, 04:04 AM

I know exactly how it feels. Lost my father nearly a yr ago now. Before and after the incident my ex and I broke up over a total of 3 times. Always her childish reason for ending it. Turns out it was always for someone else. When it won't work with them she would keep coming back saying how stupid and sorry she was, me being the fool kept falling for it.
Been three months now since we broke up, talking on and off, though she does not like it when I snob her off, or ignore her as she is used to me being the fool chasing her around begging for her back. Hurts for me to say but losing her was harder than losing my own father :( .

1) 21
2) Nearly 2 Yrs
3) Yes
4) No 3rd or 4th
5) Seen it coming like the rest 2 weeks before it happened
6) Yes and no
7) Felt like I was dating myself in the end
8) No

Jiser · Aug 12, 2007, 09:24 AM

It hurts but you'll learn from your breakup. I am sure you have had others which you got over? Keep yourself busy and improve yourself and do what you want to!

risingup · Aug 12, 2007, 11:41 AM

There's a cool website called womenmovingon.com. There are parts of a book called congrats on your divorce. Even though your weren't married. Pain is pain my friend and it made sense to me. You should check it out.

Bitterness is natural but it hurts you more than him. "It's like swalllowing posion and expecting him to die"

Good Luck!! :)

talaniman · Aug 12, 2007, 12:14 PM

We all mourn our loss after a break up, but life goes on, and so will you eventually.

Ash123 · Aug 12, 2007, 12:23 PM

1. i'm 41
2. 8 yrs
3. yes he broke up
4. yes are first break up
5. yes a total suprise
6. yes i respect him for the fact i think he wanted to cheat but he said he would never do it while with me.
7. yes we had a good relationship
8. I'm not totally sure if there is now or not ( infidelity i mean)

-------

Ok, I'm confused. Is NeedsHope and MissimgHim2Much the same person?
I'll assume so (? )

So:

1. you are of an age where the significance is magnified and the duration is significant too. I would say that if you have not spoken since the break - you are on his mind. It appears he wanted to be free, but reality will not match the fantasy. No woman can match an 8 year relationship. This will take time...

Do not contact him.

Let karma take over... him or a new guy will find you if you go out and just be... just go out once a week.. even if for just 30 minutes and a ginger ale. He is not dead and neither are you. (and I'd add that being in good physical shape is an asset for healing and being confident when you go out... )

It is going to take time to heal so suffer a bit, and know life is going to suck for a bit... but leave him be for now. Reality takes about 90 days to clarify.

Sorry for your pain.

MissingHim2Much · Aug 12, 2007, 02:27 PM

[QUOTE=Ash123

-------

Ok, I'm confused. Is NeedsHope and MissimgHim2Much the same person?
I'll assume so (? )

No ash NeedsHOPE is my sister and she was at my house last night and accidentally answered your question on my screenname. Her boyfriend was 41 just like her.. my boyfriend is 25

Ash123 · Aug 12, 2007, 02:31 PM

I'm confused.

Anyway, I hope this helps:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...de-116834.html