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Radiance · Aug 14, 2005, 05:18 PM

I am in love with an ex-con. I have joint legal custody of my child. My ex-husband is in law enforcement. Can this jeopordize the custody of my son? Would my ex-husband be able to use this as grounds for sole custody? Please advise.

secretinlife · Aug 19, 2005, 07:21 AM

Could be. That's the unsure answer from a person who don't have any experience in this matter.

shenda · Aug 19, 2005, 07:41 AM

The nature of the crime committed by the new love of your life may impose sanction; however, if this new love has and continues to walk in redemption, he life now and continues to reflect that he is redeemed, this will work in your favor should the custody issue arise; however, you and your ex need to maintain harmony, not only for the good of your son, but for the good of all involved. Allow not petty emotions to distort a life of happiness. Above All, keep the safety, the well-fare of your son in high regards. Love affairs come and go. Sacrifice not your son for temporal pleasure

serialwife · Aug 19, 2005, 08:30 AM

It really depends on what his offense was as to whether it can be used against you in a custody hearing. If it involves domestic violence, murder,wanton endangerment, child abuse,sexual offenses, or drugs it can be used to show that this could potentially be dangerouse situation. It also depends on the age of your child. Additionally, any therapy or counseling that your new fellow has went through will go to show he has paid his debt to society. Just remember your ex has more resources to do through background checks... make sure your new fellow understands why it's imparative that he be up front with you about his past.
A few weeks ago we were in court and a woman thought her new beau was guilty of burglary. Turns out he was actually convicted of aggrevated child abuse and that charge had been amended down from murder 1 because the police were rough with him and forced the confession. She lost custody of her 3 week old baby.

fredg · Aug 20, 2005, 06:18 AM

Hi,
Your ex can do anything he wants to, with a lawyer. He can take you to court for custody, whether he knows or doesn't know if he can win.
If he is so inclined, he can make your life a "living hell" in court appearances, time after time.
It is all up to him.
If you think he is this kind of person, then find yourself someone else to fall in love with. Leave the ex-con alone! It willl not matter how good a person he is now. By the time your ex's lawyer finishes with it, you will be in love with a "known felon", and this can only mean bad news for a custody battle.
Years ago, a female friend was living with her boyfriend, both in love, and she had (still has) a 5 yr old daughter. Her ex got a lawyer, and took her to court for custody on the grounds of "living in sin with her boyfriend"!!
Believe it or not, the court was going to award custody to her ex husband. She and her boyfriend got married, and that ended the custody battle. She kept her daughter.
Best of luck,
fredg

Radiance · Aug 20, 2005, 06:18 AM

Hello Everyone:

Thanks for replying. My new beau is not really new. He has been in my life for about 8 years. He was convicted of attempted burglary. No child abuse, murder, drugs, sex offenses or anything of this nature. He has been upfront with me. I have seen his criminal records (which I researched myself) and he is fully aware of the situation with my ex. I just wanted to know (from a legal prospective) what could be the possible ramifications for being in a relationship with someone who has a record. My son (who is 11) adores the new beau. As a matter of fact, the new beau has been more of a father than his biological father. Thanks for listening. I would appreciate more replies.

Radiance

shenda · Aug 20, 2005, 01:42 PM

I hate to say with certainty due to twist and turns that my eyes have witnessed; the sole criminal nature of your beloved is not enough; however, the well-fare, care, safety, atmosphere you provide for your son should be sufficiently adequate. IF worse come to worse, your son is old enough to express his desire. He knows that you are a good mother, he can express that to the judge. Your ex will need sufficient evidence to cast a dim light on your parental ability. However, if I may be so bold, I do not think your ex wants custody, I think he is addictive to drama; Stop feeding his dramatics and live long, happy and prosperous. I can't tell you why I feel so strong about this, but I get the impression that he feels he can hold this over your head (the custody issue) to get you to conform to his selfish expectations. His position should not intimidate you; he would have to conjure up some crap which could lead him to more harm than good.