Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    turnera1's Avatar
    turnera1 Posts: 5, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:07 PM
    Husband is sex offender wanting to see his kids.
    My husband is corrently in prison as a sex offender.
    The victim was my dauther his stepdauther.
    My three dauther's and I have forgave him for what he did.
    He has repeatly asked my dauther the (victim) to forgive him for what he did.
    My dauther(victim) cried because she said that she wants her father.
    She doesn't look at the situation as a painful experience anymore, niether do I. We believe in change and forgiveness. Sure I would'nt be able to just be as before, but my dauthers want there Dad. What do I do about the Law? How can he see his Kids? They want to see there father.In my heart I feel he will NOT do this again. What can we do?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:22 PM
    You really are kidding right? You would really put your children through this again?

    Personally, and this is my opinion, there is no person lower than a child molester. This man should have his wanker cut off in my opinion.

    What do you do about the law? You follow it!!

    How can he see his kids? He SHOULDN'T!! He sexually assaulted at least one. He took her purity away. He doesn't deserve to see the light of day.

    In your heart, yeah, I have heard that before. That is what an enabler says. You would risk putting your daughter in danger again. Child molesters, yes he is a rapist, are master manipulators. They will say and/or do anything to get near little children again.

    What can you do? Keep them far away from him or risk losing them to DCFS, that's what you do.

    And by the way, it's spelled DAUGHTER!
    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:25 PM
    Sorry but I agree with the above, I don't believe the kids want to see this guy again, are you sure your not the one who wants to see him and asking the kids to go along with it?

    He shouldn't be involved in their lives again.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:27 PM
    I doubt your daughter has gotten over the trauma of her father raping her. Has she been in counseling or is this your judgment that she has gotten over it? It takes children typically well into adulthood to get over the fact that they were molested by a family member.

    If I knew where you lived I would call Child Protective Services. Your husband will most definitely do this again. Child molesters are the most likely criminal to re-offend. There is no treatment, including chemical castration that ceases a molesters urge to molest.

    Please keep your daughter away from him. If you do not he will rape her again and again and again and again. That blood will be on your hands.
    danielnoahsmommy's Avatar
    danielnoahsmommy Posts: 2,506, Reputation: 297
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:27 PM
    You want to know who is lower than a child sex offender is the mother who wrote the above ?
    turnera1's Avatar
    turnera1 Posts: 5, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by turnera1
    My husband is corrently in prison as a sex offender.
    The victim was my dauther his stepdauther.
    My three dauther's and I have forgave him for what he did.
    He has repeatly asked my dauther the (victim) to forgive him for what he did.
    My dauther(victim) cried because she said that she wants her father.
    She doesnt look at the situation as a painful experience anymore, niether do I. We believe in change and forgiveness. Sure I would'nt be able to just be as before, but my dauthers want there Dad. What do I do about the Law? How can he see his Kids? They want to see there father.In my heart I feel he will NOT do this again. what can we do?
    I know my husband was wrong!!
    But, he didn't rape her.
    turnera1's Avatar
    turnera1 Posts: 5, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:33 PM
    What you have to understand is that It was presented to me that she wanted her dad in tears. She was crying, that is heart broken. It is hard to believe that a girl would say she doesn't hold that against him. I would say that our case is very very very rare. HE DID NOT RAPE HER!!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:33 PM
    Yes he did. He took her virginity before she was able to fully understand consensual sex. He raped her. A parent that does this to a child is raping the child. PERIOD. I'm surprised he made it this far in prison. Even murders don't respect rapists.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:34 PM
    Then why is he in prison for molesting your daughter?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #10

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by turnera1
    I would say that our case is very very very rare. HE DID NOT RAPE HER!!!!!
    Yeah, you know how many times we hear that!!
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:36 PM
    Again is your daughter in counseling? Sometimes children have strange reactions after being molested. It is your responsibility to make sure your daughter is okay and is mentally and emotionally healthy. Only a child psychologist could determine if your daughter is really okay. I'm sorry but you are not trained in this situation.
    mountain_man's Avatar
    mountain_man Posts: 269, Reputation: 45
    Full Member
     
    #12

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by turnera1
    My husband is corrently in prison as a sex offender.
    The victim was my dauther his stepdauther.
    My three dauther's and I have forgave him for what he did.
    He has repeatly asked my dauther the (victim) to forgive him for what he did.
    My dauther(victim) cried because she said that she wants her father.
    She doesnt look at the situation as a painful experience anymore, niether do I. We believe in change and forgiveness. Sure I would'nt be able to just be as before, but my dauthers want there Dad. What do I do about the Law? How can he see his Kids? They want to see there father.In my heart I feel he will NOT do this again. what can we do?
    You may love and have forgiven the father and the children may love and have forgiven their father?. BUT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS! With that said you would be sadly mistaken to believe that he has been rehabiltated. Would you even want to run the however small a risk you may perceive putting your kids in a position that it MAY happen again... I know that would make me sick... wait until they are adults and can make their own decisions and then they also cannot become victims again... also if you haven't already get yourself and your daugthers some counseling and support. God bless
    macksmom's Avatar
    macksmom Posts: 1,787, Reputation: 152
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Aug 9, 2007, 01:42 PM
    Your children should come before any relationship... their safety should be number one on your list, NOT reuniting with the molester.
    I can't believe you would even consider it... or post such a question on here an expect to get a different response.
    You better be careful... if you endanger your children... they could very well likely be taken from you and placed with someone who knows what's best for the children, and protects them.
    GoldieMae's Avatar
    GoldieMae Posts: 263, Reputation: 89
    Full Member
     
    #14

    Aug 9, 2007, 02:05 PM
    If you let her see this man, even if she claims to want to see him, she will hate you for it when she's older.

    Here's the way I see it. You have been reminiscing about this monster in front of your kids, feeding crap to them about how he's changed, he loves them, he's their "daddy", he won't do it again. You may have told your kids that you prayed for him, he's found Jesus. I wouldn't be surprised if you have been telling your daughter Jesus wants her to forgive him. You may even be shaming her into thinking she has to forgive him. She knows it'll make YOU happy if she forgives him, so she pretends that she has so you will still love her. Am I warm? I know I am.

    He ain't her daddy, he ain't her father, so stop calling him that.

    I've seen this exact scenario play out over and over and over and over again with women who stay married to these slimey dregs of flesh that dare attempt to use the title "man."

    You are manipulating that poor abused child into thinking she wants to forgive him. The fact that you don't look at this experience as "a painful experience any more" makes me sick to my stomach over the torment your little girl is going through and you don't even see or apparently care about. That fact that you are willing to split hairs over molestation versus rape says it all. How selfish can you be? Are you honestly willing to put your marriage to a depraved child molestor ahead of your flesh and blood's emotional well being? Real good parenting there!

    I have no sympathy for you, but I pray for your three daughters.
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
    Ultra Member
     
    #15

    Aug 9, 2007, 02:12 PM
    Lady I know a woman (former neighbor) that married a man that was accused of raping his ex wife and molesting his 2 sons ages 1 and 2. Yes he served time in prison for this alleged rape. Of course he did not do it. His wife was from a differenty country and was using this to take his kids away from the USA that was about 7 years ago and she is still in the same state. So my neighbor marrys this child molesting loser. But now he is in prison for RAPING my neighbors 9 year old daughter (her STEP FATHER) and he fathered a son with this woman. She does have a brain and refuses to let him see them from what she said the lasst time I talked to her. Did he penetrate her vaginaly? No but he did other things to her. He raped her of her childhood, She goes to school with my daughter guess what? She is sexually active and cuts herself and is in therapy and is only 12 . If your daughter knows you want her to forgive the molester she will say she does to make you happy. Do your daughter a favor and be a mother to her and forget about your need for a man until she is grown.
    jrb252000's Avatar
    jrb252000 Posts: 410, Reputation: 28
    -
     
    #16

    Aug 9, 2007, 02:14 PM
    Please don't make your daughter become a victim of his again. A man like that can never be trusted. He emotionally and physically damaged your daughter and those scars may never heal completely.
    You all may be able to forgive but this is something that doesn't allow for a forget.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #17

    Aug 9, 2007, 02:33 PM
    I wonder if you really thought we would be on the side of the rapist. Did you really think you would come here and have people tell you how to make sure your child was raped again?

    Did you think that we would fall for the old "I've repented and found the Lord, I am sorry for what I did routine?"

    This man is sick, sick, sick, and in my opinion should be castrated.

    And you, my dear lady, are sick to even consider placing your child (oh that's right 3 daughters, and supposedly only one was raped), so children, in the care of this pervert again.

    I really hope for the mental well being of these children that they are in intensive counseling. And if you believe for a moment that this will never happen again, you live in a fantasy world.
    jrb252000's Avatar
    jrb252000 Posts: 410, Reputation: 28
    -
     
    #18

    Aug 9, 2007, 02:39 PM
    Just one more point what happens if you let this vicious monster back in the picture and then your daughters bring friends over... and he takes advantage and tries to destroy another innocent life.
    This post nearly made me vomit you need counseling more so than your children.
    If you have ever seen dateline to catch a predator... guess what almost all of them are repeat offenders.
    If you want to take this scum of the earth back please place your children in another home.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #19

    Aug 9, 2007, 02:47 PM
    After this I think I will hug my daughter after I pick her up from cheerleading.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
    Uber Member
     
    #20

    Aug 9, 2007, 03:02 PM
    If this woman was so concerned about doing the right thing she would have contacted Child Protective Services and talked to the Social Worker there. Someone who would place her daughters in the same company as a convicted sex offender needs to have her children placed in safety - safe from her and the step father. Cannot believe how sick this poster is.

    Everyone else who posted said everything exactly right. You cannot get more clear counsel than what has been posted.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Sex offender redristration [ 11 Answers ]

My husband is in jail for not registering,this is his first time not what are the chances of him doing hard time?are they going to send him to the pen he has only done 2 months in the city jail and hasent yet been indighted will they just make him serve his time now

Sex Offender guidelines and rules [ 17 Answers ]

18 years ago my father plead guilty to the rape of a fifteen year old girl. This sex was consensual, however, a big mistake on my fathers part. The judge ordered him to six months in jail. A light sentence due to the fact, it was not rape. Just last year he was told he had to register as a sex...

Juvenile sex offender [ 1 Answers ]

Live in Alabama / My stepson sexually abused my daughter he is now 19. (he was 16 last time it happened and she was 7) anyway, went to court he was on house arrest and had to attend counseling. My question is, due to other unfortunate events my husband gave up his rights and my stepson was adopted...

My husband,my step kids and me? [ 3 Answers ]

I'm at my wits end. I have been in a realationship with my husband for 11 years and he has 2 kids. Blended familys are hard. That is what I heard from everyone. I love kids so I thiught it would be no problem. Right? Wrong! My husband for the most part is a wonderful person he treats me very well...


View more questions Search