[Ludicrous1]

Hello,

I reside in California and I’ve been surprised by receiving to go to court for Child Support hearing. I have been with/dated 3 other women at the same time and one of them is claiming I am a father after 12 months or so; she was actually a fling.

Any sugestions regarding this deviant woman claiming such things and man hunter for Child Support? And what am I going against?

Thank You -

[GlindaofOz]

First things first, ask for a court ordered paternity test. She will need to prove that you the father. However, even if she was a fling it could still be your kid. It only takes one time to get pregnant.

[s_cianci]

Is there a chance you could be the father? Either way, contest paternity. You'll be ordered to submit to a DNA test. If you are proven to be the dad, you'll be ordered to pay child support, including arrearages going back to the date of birth. You'll be able to petition for visitation, custody or anything else pertaining to your rights as a father.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you are the father, she is not crazy, only wanting the support legally due her. If you were having unprotected sex with her, it does not matter if it was a one night stand while you were cheating on two girl friends, all that matters is " are you the father or not"

So a DNA test will prove that.

[1badchoice]

I'm surprised at your ignorance. Any sexual contact, however brief your relationship, can create a pregnancy. The only way to deal with this is to get the paternity test. Once you have proof, either way, your next course of action should be more obvious. Your talking of this woman like this when you did the same thing only didn't have to feel the consequences as immediately as she... Grow up.

[macksmom]

You don't have to contest paternity... if you are not on the birth certificate, which with this being a surprise to you, you obvioulsy aren't because you would have had to sign it... then the courts will automatically order a paternity test before anything else is done.

Once the results of your paternity tests come back that should give you all the answers you need... if you are the father you really can't do anything from there (as far as fighting child support).

[Ludicrous1]

First things first, ask for a court ordered paternity test. She will need to prove that you the father. However, even if she was a fling it could still be your kid. It only takes one time to get pregnant.

50% I may be the father, but I don't want to have anything to do with it!

I have been dating her for 1-2 months off and on, as I've realized that she was stalking me and has psycho issues. I broke up whatever friendship/relationship I had with her right away and few weeks later she got in contact with me playing the victim and almost crying... so I've let her back but ONLY as a friend and friend with benefits type of thing, because/as I was dating/seeing other women. That kind of friendship lasted another 1-2 months and I broke up with her for good.

Now (about 12 months later) I receive this insanity in the mail.

What if I don't want to do the paternity test?

[macksmom]

You will have no choice to do the paternity test... it will be court ordered... if you fail to do it you will be held in contempt.
You asking that questions leads me to believe you think it may be yours...
A child needs to be supports regardless of weather the "father" wants to or not, unfortunately the child didn't get to pick his/her parents...
If the child is yours, you don't have to have anything to do with the child, except pay support... no way you will ever get out of that.

[GlindaofOz]

50% I may be the father, but I don't want to have anything to do with it!

I have been dating her for 1-2 months off and on, as I've realized that she was stalking me and has psycho issues. I broke up whatever friendship/relationship I had with her right away and few weeks later she got in contact with me playing the victim and almost crying ... so I've let her back but ONLY as a friend and friend with benefits type of thing, because/as I was dating/seeing other women. That kind of friendship lasted another 1-2 months and I broke up with her for good.

Now (about 12 months later) I receive this insanity in the mail.

What if I don't want to do the paternity test?

The mother has nothing to do with caring for that child. That child did not ASK to be born. You had sex with her without protection you spun the barrel and pulled the trigger.

That is a vile statement. If you made that baby you better pay support. There are court orders for those kinds of things. In some states you will go to jail until you pay up. If you were man enough to have sex you should be man enough to take care of a child.

[Ludicrous1]

You don't have to contest paternity...if you are not on the birth certificate, which with this being a surprise to you, you obvioulsy aren't because you would have had to sign it...then the courts will automatically order a paternity test before anything else is done.

Once the results of your paternity tests come back that should give you all the answers you need...if you are the father you really can't do anything from there (as far as fighting child support).

I am not on the birth certificate. How could I be as this desperate insane woman has planned it on purpose trying to ruin someone's life.

Also, when I've let her back in the friendship and the reason I broke up with her for good is because she said that she is Pro Life... so immediately I broke up with her for good, obviously!

[GlindaofOz]

I am not on the birth certificate. How could I be as this desperate insane woman has planned it on purpose trying to ruin someones life.

Also, when I've let her back in the friendship and the reason I broke up with her for good is because she said that she is Pro Life ... so immediately I broke up with her for good, obviously!!

Clearly not before having sex with her multiple times without protection. If you don't want a baby with a woman then use protection. I guess you have learned your lesson.

[Ludicrous1]

The mother has nothing to do with caring for that child. That child did not ASK to be born. You had sex with her without protection you spun the barrel and pulled the trigger.

That is a vile statement. If you made that baby you better pay support. There are court orders for those kinds of things. In some states you will go to jail until you pay up. If you were man enough to have sex you should be man enough to take care of a child.

She could have prevented it right?! Instead she had and has very vicious intentions due to her own insanity and insecurity?!

[GlindaofOz]

She could of prevented it right?!? Instead she had and has very vicious intentions due to her own insanity and insecurity?!?

So could you. You need to take responsibility for your actions. You sound like a teenager. Be a man.

[ScottGem]

Your attitude is reprehensible. From what you have told us you broke up with the woman and haven't contacted her for a year. But just because she had a baby you assume she is deparate and insane.

Frankly, you make me sick. You are so selfish and self centered. It is my belief that ANYONE who engages in sexual intercourse with someone must be prepared to have a child. If you are not so prepared then you shouldn't have intercourse.

If you have fathered a child you cannot fully blame the mother. You had at least an equal part on this and you have to stand up and deal with it like an adult, not a petualant child.

Yes, get a paternity test. Make sure you are the father. But if it turns out you are, then do the right thing. And the right thing is NOT to this the mother and make unfounded accusations. Its not to try and get out of your responsibility towards that child.

[Ludicrous1]

so could you. you need to take responsibility for your actions. You sound like a teenager. Be a man.

I have lots of sympathy for such attitude in regards to what are you trying to say but I don't tolerate it. And, I am a man I've dump the psycho... I can't even call her ex because she was never a "girlfriend type". How can a woman do this, how can a human be so insane, how can a woman live with herself giving birth in such repulsive circumstance, etc... etc...

Forget about family values, when in such mental issues and insecurity nothing matters right?

The funny thing she might think that she hit the lottery with me by being rich? Which I am not. Also, I am in a very serious relationship right now... and I can't wait to have at least 5-8 children with this beautiful woman I am with.

I forgot to mention, in the mid time while being married I will look for more psychos to have sex with thinking they can have my family's gene at free will and to ask for child support.
My ad will sound something like this "Pro Life psychos wanted, great gene available - Child Support Hot Ticket!"

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON SUCH DEVIANT MINDS.

AMEN!

oh and by the way, I know a married couple that decided not to have a child in their life during a certain time thus going for abortion, and now they have 3 children.

[Ludicrous1]

Your attitude is reprehensible. From what you have told us you broke up with the woman and haven't contacted her for a year. But just because she had a baby you assume she is deparate and insane.

Frankly, you make me sick. You are so selfish and self centered. It is my belief that ANYONE who engages in sexual intercourse with someone must be prepared to have a child. If you are not so prepared then you shouldn't have intercourse.

If you have fathered a child you cannot fully blame the mother. You had at least an equal part on this and you have to stand up and deal with it like an adult, not a petualant child.

Yes, get a paternity test. Make sure you are the father. But if it turns out you are, then do the right thing. And the right thing is NOT to dis the mother and make unfounded accusations. Its not to try and get out of your responsibility towards that child.

Are you kidding me? I was in hope to find some good advise, positive rational and not random feminists and pro life desperate fanatics abusing the very basic of living a good life AND NOT MAKING IT HARDER especially on other people.

"Petualant child?" - now that straight double standard to the 69th degree INSULT, good try though! Also, I was not the one HIDING (with the fetus) like a child.

As for not prepared and should not have intercourse - shoot I forgot we are in the STONE AGE technology wise, and even FLINSTONES had 69 abortions. So much for education now days.

[Dreamer10]

I have lots of sympathy for such attitude in regards to what are you trying to say but I don't tolerate it. And, I am a man I've dump the psycho ... I can't even call her ex because she was never a "girlfriend type". How can a woman do this, how can a human be so insane, how can a woman live with herself giving birth in such repulsive circumstance, etc... etc ....

Forget about family values, when in such mental issues and insecurity nothing matters right?

The funny thing she might think that she hit the lottery with me by being rich? Which I am not. Also, I am in a very serious relationship right now ... and I can't wait to have at least 5-8 children with this beautiful woman I am with.

I forgot to mention, in the mid time while being married I will look for more psychos to have sex with thinking they can have my family's gene at free will and to ask for child support.
My ad will sound something like this "Pro Life psychos wanted, great gene available - Child Support Hot Ticket!"

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON SUCH DEVIANT MINDS.

AMEN!

oh and by the way, I know a married couple that decided not to have a child in their life during a certain time thus going for abortion, and now they have 3 children.

Listen, if you keep claiming that that woman is a crazy psycho nut-job... and that you kept sleeping with her, then what does that make you? First we had to explain to you that a fling can create a child, then explain to you that you are a cheater, and now I think I have to say that maybe your Ex "fling" is not the "mad" one for trying to get you to take care of the child you put in her, but maybe, by gosh, maybe you're a little crazy "yourself"?

What sort of man gets a lady pregnant, uses her, and calls her psycho, yet still sleeps with her... and at the end of the day comes and says "I don't even want my own child".

Shame on you.

Oh and that really sad last comment about the "married couple who had an abortion"... that is your desperate cry for people to say "well she should get an abortion". This is an immature attempt to get to hear what you want to hear.

Be a man or stop doing adult things.

[PinkyStar]

This exact thing happened to my best friend, except she was the woman, and she's not psycho! Did you ever think about what this woman is going through, having a baby is stressful and difficult, and no woman wants to go through that alone... I'm sure that she doesn't want you to be the father, but there is a possibility that you are.
Did you ever ask if she was sleeping with other people during that time, or did the relationship mean something to her?
Also children are extremely expensive, and since she is a single mom, she has to work still, but then she has to pay someone to watch the baby... I can assure that she did not just have the baby for your money... but she definitely needs it in order to raise the child properly, and if the baby is yours, then you want it to have a good life!
About abortion... just because you think they are OK, doesn't mean that everyone else has to, it's her body... her decision

[Ludicrous1]

Listen, if you keep claiming that that woman is a crazy psycho nut-job...and that you kept sleeping with her, then what does that make you? First we had to explain to you that a fling can create a child, then explain to you that you are a cheater, and now I think I have to say that maybe your Ex "fling" is not the "mad" one for trying to get you to take care of the child you put in her, but maybe, by gosh, maybe you're a little crazy "yourself"?

What sort of man gets a lady pregnant, uses her, and calls her psycho, yet still sleeps with her...and at the end of the day comes and says "I don't even want my own child".

Shame on you.

Oh and that really sad last comment about the "married couple who had an abortion"...that is your desperate cry for people to say "well she should get an abortion". This is an immature attempt to get to hear what you want to hear.

Be a man or stop doing adult things.

Please read above what I've responded to ScottGem.

Crazy for sleeping with such scum but I am definitely not psycho, I admit. I have a good rational and values but definitely not complicating someone's life trying to play GOD and behind their back.

Using her? You must be kidding, so how does it stand now on the aftermath as she was hiding for over 12 months? And shame on me as well right?

As for the married couple that is just a piece of sanity, you know the opposite of insanity.

I am a MAN and I am doing ADULT things, it's just that I have been hit below the belt and have to roll with it, the least to say.

It's OK though I know GOD IS WATCHING!

[Ludicrous1]

this exact thing happened to my best friend, except she was the woman, and she's not psycho! did you ever think about what this woman is going through, having a baby is stressful and difficult, and no woman wants to go through that alone...i'm sure that she doesn't want you to be the father, but there is a possibility that you are.
did you ever ask if she was sleeping with other people during that time, or did the relationship mean something to her?
also children are extremely expensive, and since she is a single mom, she has to work still, but then she has to pay someone to watch the baby...i can assure that she did not just have the baby for your money...but she definatly needs it in order to raise the child properly, and if the baby is yours, then you want it to have a good life!
about abortion...just because you think they are ok, doesn't mean that everyone else has to, it's her body...her decision

About going through having the baby - hmmmm was she thinking about it when not wanting to tell me that she was pregnant, obviously my opinion was out of the question.

I hope for her sake that she slept with other people, as I did not speak with her since I broke up with her over 12 months ago.

And since she thinks she can play GOD she should thought about affording the child by herself. Trust me no male figure wants to raise that kind of a child brought in the world in such circumstance.

About her body, her decision nonsense, etc... I reiterate the rational logic spoken above.