[karma]

I have been seeing my current boyfriend for almost a year now. A month after I met him, I had some family problems so I moved in with him. A few weeks after that he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. I was so happy with him that I said yes. On the fourth of July, we broke our engagement but are still living together as boyfriend and girlfriend and on our "anniversary" of our initial engagement, he said he'll ask me to marry him again. I tell him all the time that we aren't compatible and he says he can't see himself without me. He is VERY overprotective and he hates me going out anywhere without him. I'm 21 and he's 36. I know he has had a lot of experiences but I was a sheltered child and haven't ever been to a club, concert, or anything like that. He keeps saying he'll take me, but never does. And when I want to go with a girlfriend, he says no or says yes until the time comes and at the last minute changes his mind. He tells me I am a grown woman and can do what I want but he treats me like I'm 14. I love him, and I want to try to make this work, but we just seem to be on different pages. Now, he's really jealous because I am talking to a friend of mine that used to date my sister. He thinks that I am going to leave him for any guy that I talk to, even my sister's ex! I don't know what to do. Should I keep trying, or just leave him behind?

[klover]

Honestly
This does not sound like a healthy situation. You need to be with someone who will allow you to be happy and experience life. You should be able to go out and have a good time with girlfriends, go to concerts/clubs- withhim or w/o. I am 23 and haven't done much of the partying stuff.. and my boyfriend 26 has. Though we have our ups and downs... he is very supportive and actually wants me to go out and have a good time. He wants me to be happy & to be able to be happy when he's not there.
I know this is a healthy positive attitude. Everyone gets a little jealous. But if you really are in love with someone and really KNOW them-- you need to have a blind faith in them.

If you two are meant to be together you WILL. Even if you take a break and go spread your wings... you'll end up back together- if you are RIGHT foreachother.

Think about your life... what you want to do with it. We only have one opportunity here.

You are very young to settle down and start a family. Once the kids come... they come first. DEFINITELY no chance for the fun weekends out.

Don't have regrets... - if he REALLY loves you in a healthy way... he will let you go out and experience life.
But he's not.

This could really turn into a dangerous situation.

YOU NEED TO BE STRONG... and LET GO.

Please be careful.

It's so hard when you're in love. So hard. But be strong. Go live your life... find out what YOU NEED.

[klover]

Also he is 36.. HE IS LOOKING TO SETTLE DOWN
You are 21... you just are starting your life!

Don't settle down for the love of god. There will be many regrets.

Remember- if you are meant to be- YOU WILL BE TOGETHER

For now... go out and date... have fun... be safe-- but have fun!

[turtlegirl]

This doesn't sound like a healthy equitable relationship. It sounds like he treats you like a child or a pet. That's not good for either of you. If it's not too late, break this pattern now. If it's too late to break the pattern, you may need to leave him behind.

[Wildcat21]

This doesn't sound good - he sounds too controlling and actually VERY imature. He promises to take you places AND THEN Doesn't??

I would bet a ton of money if you compared this guy to other guys his age he would come across as extremely imature. Jealousy is a sign of immaturity as well.

Quite frankly he was too old for you, and imature for his age - a guy should take you out everywhere!

You defintely need to experience stuff. And more people. You sound very shelterd.

I wouldn't advise anyone to get married before age 25 anyway.

HE DOESN'T LET YOU GO OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS?? THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS EVER!! YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SPEND TIME WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ALWAYS. IT'S A MUST!

I'd run from this guy. Sounds like a controlling creep.

[turtlegirl]

And abusive reationships start with overly jealous men who keep their girlfriends from seeing their friends and family so they have no support system and no one to talk to if they have negative feelings or start experiencing abuse. This is a bad sign.

[sweety]

This guy sounds like a freak, you should leave him behind. He isn't worth it, for starters - look at your age differences (that's why he acts the way he does) and look at his mentality, he thinks narrow minded whereas you want a bit more freedom and you seem like an open- minded person.
Plus don't even bother thinking about marriage with him, he seems jealous from the start, after he has legal rights on you , u don't know what he can do to u behind closed doors.