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LearningAsIGo · Jul 31, 2007, 09:35 AM

Before I bring the subject up to my husband, I'd like to hear some other opinions. ;)

My husband and I met at work and were friends before dating. At one point he got up on his high horse and told everyone he would NEVER date a girl with a tattoo. He personally believes "your body is your temple and a gift from God" so you shouldn't "mess it up" with tattoos or piercings. Fine, that's his opinion. (I tend to think your body is your temple... so decorate it ;) ) However, it became a huge joke because it was obvious he liked me... and didn't know I had one on my upper arm. Lets just say, we started dating and he seemed to "forget" all about that part of me. By the time we got married, I asked him if he'd be upset if I didn't cover it up since his family doesn't know about it and they're very conservative (my dress did not have sleeves). To my surprise, he said, "No. Its part of you, you should do what you want." :eek:
Yay! I DID marry the right man ;)

However, I have always wanted more and he knows it. I REALLY want another one, but he's told me before he wouldn't want me to get any more. I laugh him off since I tend to think I have 1, so what's the difference if I have 2, 3, or 4?

Its not a deal breaker for us by any means, but what would you do?
On one hand, its my body and I can certainly do what I want. On the other, he's my husband and deserves my respect. Since it would upset him, I could certainly live without another one. (p.s. Yes, he "forgot" the other one, but it was there before I met him. Doing it now when he doesn't approve is another issue)

THOUGHTS?

Canada_Sweety · Jul 31, 2007, 11:10 AM

Well, it is your body and you do have the right to it. It's up to you, but you need to keep in mind that your husband is now a part of you & your life forever. It's a personal call more then anything but if I was you, I would try talking to him about my thoughts & feelings about it.

GlindaofOz · Jul 31, 2007, 11:32 AM

Not to say he can tell you what to do with your body, but I would definitely not surprise him with the second one already done. With that being said I'm all for it. I love tattoos and what's funny is that I always say I could never marry someone who doesn't have a tattoo because mine mean so much to me.

Bluerose · Aug 1, 2007, 03:09 PM

LearningAsIGo,

"He personally believes "your body is your temple and a gift from God" so you shouldn't "mess it up" with tattoos or piercings."

This may not be what you had in mind but I do believe it is something you should be aware of. I find myself being a little concerned about you ever having to have surgery. I believe there may be a more serious issue here that needs to be addressed. You should talk things over with him and discover just how serious he is about the body temple thing. I hope you can get him to loosen up a bit.

LearningAsIGo · Aug 2, 2007, 05:31 AM

Bluerose,
I appreciate what you're saying, but its not as serious as I might have made it sound. (I have had surgery for cancer and now with an 11" abdominal scar, believe me he doesn't mind any of it ;) ) He's by no means a fanatic, he's just not the type who likes them. He's conservative to his core, while I'm someone who rocked pink hair for 4 years :D

Just, would it be "right" if I got another one if my spouse didn't agree? That's what I struggle with.

Canada_Sweety · Aug 2, 2007, 06:31 AM

I don't think it's right...... he's your husband..... y'all are suposed to share things that are a big deal eh?

Bluerose · Aug 2, 2007, 12:01 PM

LearningAsIGo,

I understand and I'm glad to hear it. As for having it done without telling him. I don't think you should. There is exerting your independence and then there is sending the message that I don't care what you think. Maybe he can see that two may lead to four or five. Maybe if you promise 'just one more, honest'.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 2, 2007, 01:17 PM

Involve him in helping to pick it out and be there for it.

And in the end it is just a tattoo, I am so religouis right, I disconnected my cars oeft turn signal, and I don't see anything wrong with some of the nicer tattoo

LearningAsIGo · Aug 3, 2007, 05:23 AM

Originally Posted by bluerose

Maybe he can see that two may lead to four or five.

Excellent point, thank you :D

Bluerose · Aug 3, 2007, 06:33 AM

You're welcome. Let us know what you decide, and what tattoo you settle on. The one he chooses will say a lot about what he thinks of you. The smaller the more he cares... lol That way you get the tattoo and he thinks he got his way. Sounds like fun however you look at it. Good luck.

kp2171 · Aug 3, 2007, 07:18 AM

Personally I don't mind tattoos generally, but I do prefer them to be smaller or able to be covered if needed.

Also, I would be in a position similar to your guy... probably not all that thrilled with more. Your body, your choice, but just as he might find longer hair or a certain style more attractive, he might not like what he sees with another tattoo.

Just as with your hair, your body, your decision. But I don't think he's being unreasonable, just as you aren't being unreasonable because you like them and want another.

So somebody is going to give.