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    Shanz's Avatar
    Shanz Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 26, 2007, 11:52 PM
    Long term and he cheated?
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 yrs, almost 3. When we first got together he seemed like the 'player' type but I didn't really care. But eventually we fell in love. But we got arrested together (I know, bad) and he had to go to placement for 10 months. He was super sweet when he was in there and for a while when he got out. But when he got his first job he started talking to a lot of girls, so I was worried the player ways would come back. One night he was over and texting his friend and laughing. Usually he shows me everything but that time he didn't so I was suspicious. He fell asleep and I looked at what he was saying, and he said he had sex with another girl that same night at 11. For a while I was in denial, but he knows I know. He even admitted it. So I can't trust him anymore. We're still together and I want to keep it that way. I love him! He says he loves me too and wants to be with me! But I want us both to be able to rebuild trust with each other. So anyone got advice? About the cheating or the trust thing? I'm so confused! :confused:
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 27, 2007, 04:38 AM
    Red flags have come up alerting you to his true personality, I guess that is okay because if you are astute enough you will recognize that this could only be a one sided relationship. I go by the adage, 'once a cheater always a cheater'.
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Jul 27, 2007, 05:52 AM
    I would move on again once a cheater always a cheater. How can you trust someone when they hurt you like that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jul 27, 2007, 07:15 AM
    You will never trust him, and you already know that. Close this chapter of your life, and save a lot of miery and pain by leaving him alone and start working on yourself, as what healthy person loves someone they know is a player and a cheater? Get your own act together and move on, just because you deserve better don't you? Learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself.
    Geoffersonairplane's Avatar
    Geoffersonairplane Posts: 1,195, Reputation: 286
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jul 27, 2007, 08:56 AM
    He is a bad egg.

    You say you love him, but do you realise what you think you love. Maybe you do love him, but he will cause you more misery and heartache. You let him do it to you once and that will be the green light for him to repeat this over and over again.

    You are worth more than that... Aren't you?
    Geoffersonairplane's Avatar
    Geoffersonairplane Posts: 1,195, Reputation: 286
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Jul 27, 2007, 09:00 AM
    You should have walked away when you first sensed he was the player type. Unfortunately, it often doesn't quite work like that but I guess with experience it can do. Learning to judge and compare situations, experiences. Perhaps one needs to be burned to realise the logic in this.
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
    Survivor
     
    #7

    Jul 27, 2007, 10:48 AM
    You're worth more than that. Don't take his crap... if he's got another girl already, let her pick up his mess while you move on to a GOOD man.
    08023899045's Avatar
    08023899045 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jul 27, 2007, 12:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shanz
    Me and my bf have been together for 2 yrs, almost 3. When we first got together he seemed like the 'player' type but I didn't really care. But eventually we fell in love. But we got arrested together (I know, bad) and he had to go to placement for 10 months. He was super sweet when he was in there and for a while when he got out. But when he got his first job he started talking to alot of girls, so I was worried the player ways would come back. One night he was over and texting his friend and laughing. Usually he shows me everything but that time he didn't so I was suspicious. He fell asleep and I looked at what he was saying, and he said he had sex with another girl that same night at 11. For a while I was in denial, but he knows I know. He even admited it. So I can't trust him anymore. We're still together and I want to keep it that way. I love him! He says he loves me too and wants to be with me! But I want us both to be able to rebuild trust with eachother. So anyone got advice? About the cheating or the trust thing? I'm so confused! :confused:
    All you need do is to pray to God to arrest him for you if only you wholeheartedly love him. You seems calm and I bet you remain so and he will come begging

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