[spop]

Do you remember the old TV show called "Family Matters"? The nerd called Urkle had a tough time with females until the last season, before it went off air. Well,I consider myself a nerd/geek. I'm always on the computer chatting about and looking up unpopular topics. I dress strange, wearing tight beige pants, off color shirts, and Dr. Shoals shoes. My speaking voice goes real high sometimes, and real low sometimes, where people ask me to repeat myself. I really shy around women, and a weakling around other men. I'm still a mother's boy, and I have trouble watching my health. My goal is to change these unpopular things, so I can be date material. I hope I gave you enough information about myself; if not feel free to ask me more. I need an extreme makeover!! Is there anybody out there with help? :(

[Canada_Sweety]

As for the clothes, the shoes aren't too bad... the pants, you can trade in for jeans.. the off coloured shirts, you can trade in for skateboarder shirts and band-t's. Your voice isn't exactly something you can control... so you'll have to wait that one out. For the watching your weight, just work out. You could run around your block or go to a gym or something.
Your confidence is something that only you can take care of. Try looking at your better qualities. And what did you mean by unpopular topics?

[spop]

As for the clothes, the shoes aren't too bad... the pants, you can trade in for jeans.. the off coloured shirts, you can trade in for skateboarder shirts and band-t's. Your voice isn't exactly something you can control... so you'll have to wait that one out. For the watching your weight, just work out. You could run around your block or go to a gym or something.
Your confidence is something that only you can take care of. Try looking at your better qualities. And what did you mean by unpopular topics?

Thanks. The topics I talk about is how things work, new computer operating systems and technology, tips and tricks on computer systems and networks, etc.

[Canada_Sweety]

Ohh... well... what else do you know a lot about? Like other then computers?

[Emland]

Some girls are into geek stuff - I wouldn't worry about that.

Clothes are easy. Get a couple of magazines for men and have a look - then find similar things in your budget range.

Voice can be worked on. There are even specialists out there if you need them. Try taking a speech class at a community college, first, perhaps.

The most troubling thing you stated is the part about being a momma's boy and unfit. That will not help you cultivate the image you want. Start by working out. When you start seeing results, your confidence should become stronger. With more confidence, you may not need momma's attention so much.

Start slow. Start with the clothes, that's the easiest then work you way along your list.

[sGt HarDKorE]

OK here are some stores for teens: Hollistor, American Eagle, Pac Sun, Ambercrombie and Fitch. Im not sure where you live but those are big stores in the U.S. Also you will have to get use to py 25 dollars or more for a shirt. And I don't have any muscles, but I'm the funny guy who is fast, not strong. Also just look up sport news, go to your sport's homepage and they will have all the latest news about the teams. Uh shyness hmmm, well I am shy, so I just join sport teams at school to meet all the kids and then I get to know them and then I become friends. I slowly became less and less shy. I am still shy unless I need to say something, then I definitely say it. I like technology too, but maybe do cool things with technology like get a xbox 360 or something, I meet many school friends just by asking people or their gamertag and such. If you want to work on being with a girl, you need to work on being near guys, because girls are usually a lot harder to talk to. Just remembr no one is out of your league. Also start listening to rock/rap/hip hop

[nicespringgirl]

Let me help you with this step by step:

First of all, you need a clear definition of what is a so called "nerd"

The nerd that has some friends but just studies all day and doesent do anything else. The nerds that I was around with. No friends and follows me around like a shadow, most people can't hear him if he talks, and has a arched back, no glasses.
Nerd dosen't necessarely mean uber smart it just means no friends. It doesent mean ugly either.
What do you talk about?
If you talk about very old movies or textbooks news having to do with NASA or anything like that you are a nerd.
Do you get made fun of behind your back?
If you ever see people snickering and then looking at that person it could just be that they are laughing at something that he has on him or something. But if they do this constantly that means that he's a nerd.
Pockets?
Does your friend wear pocket protectors? These are obvious signs of nerdyness.
Pens, Erasers, Pencils.
If you have so many pens, pencils, or erasers in your pocket that you can see you sticking out of your pocket you are a nerd...
Okay, so I don't think you are a NERD yet.:)
My point here is- Be more sefl respect and more confident. TELL Yourself THAT "I AM NOT A NERD!"

Then...
What you need to do is-
FEEL GOOD. If you want to be popular, you need to change your insides before your surroundings can start turning in your favor. You can't make people believe that you're worthwhile if you don't think you are. Start to FEEL GOOD. It's the most important part of this whole process. Never let little things get you down, because when you do, you attract more things that will get you down. Start looking on the bright side of things. Life is great! CHANGE YOUR LOOK. Yes, I know I should tell you to love the way you look no matter what, but if you never shower or don't brush your hair, people WILL be turned off by you. People want to talk to people who look nice. Follow trends you like. Get into new fashions. For tips, look at my article called "How to Change Your Look".
STAND OUT. People who want to be popular tend to say things like "I just want to fit in!" Well, here's some news for you. Popular people don't blend in, they stand out! If you observe some popular people, you will see that they're always loud and in your face. They're not afraid to say anything, and they're always brave. And that's what makes people want to listen and follow them.
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. The best way to brake into a group of popular people is to just make friends with one of them. Then they will introduce you to another person, then another. But the catch is that you have to speak up. If you don't make the first move and talk to someone popular, they're never going to talk to you. I know, it's nerve wracking. And a lot of people say that the popular people think they're dorks and they don't like them. Well, if you keep saying that, then they never will like you. Now that you've got your new look, act the part. Take that leap of faith and TALK TO THEM.
BE NICE. I know that when you're looking at the people you think are popular, they act kind-of meanly. They do things like spread rumors and use people and keep secrets. Truth is? If you're trying to make friends with those people, your in for a ride. If you still want to be friends with them, though, there's one thing you should know. DON'T ACT LIKE THAT UNTIL YOU'RE REALLY, Truly IN THE GROUP. When you're first making friends with people, they want to see your sweet, sensitive, lovable side. Later, when your all friends, you can bring out the mean side.

Hope that'll help.:)

[LearningAsIGo]

First, I'd like to say I don't think there is anything wrong with you. My best suggestion is to embrace who you are and don't give a damn what other people may think! Confidence is the key, but if you'd like ways to enhance that with material things, I can offer a few suggestions.

Try one thing that you haven't already. Sk8boarding, snowboarding, track and field, social clubs, etc. This may help you make friends and/or adapt to a new culture of people that you may have fun with. It would also help you to build confidence in a new skill and become more independent from mother.

Piece together smaller bits that will make your clothes an "outfit". Odd colored shirts and khaki pants are fine... try it with an interesting hat, shoes, or belt. You don't have to buy all new things, just tweek them in ways that might make a statement. I once had a male friend who wore khaki's, polo shirts, and a dirty rotten shoes but he'd add a patch or tear the knees... anything that made his outfit unique got him lots of attention.

Read some trendier magazines. Interested in cars, trucks, gaming, sports, fashion? Check some out and they'll give you a good glimpse into new possibilites.

Don't forget... nerds are only nerds to people who don't understand them. Plus, lots of nerds are just plain cool.

[templelane]

Maybe you could go for more indie chic than cool guy as it will be less of a leap. Some girls love nerdy awkward guys, although you don't want them to just want to mother you so maybe improving your confidence by working out a bit could give you the 'I'm sweet, nerdy and sexy' vibe.

If you go for a compromise you won't have to completely change- which would be no fun. I think maybe joining a soceity with girls in it will help you talk to them. Also girls love making people over (admit it we do!) so perhaps once you have some female friends they could help you out. Take a friend shopping with you and get them to help you pick clothes.

Don't worry about changing though - just about being happy. Get some new clothes by all means as there is nothing like feeling like you look good but don't throw away all the geekyness. Geeky usually = successful so go with it and the women will be drawn to you (and admittidly your wallet, but nothing's perfect)

Nerdy can be cool if done right look at Rivers Cuomo from Weezer, Weezer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia,
Chris Martin form coldplay (admittidly looking a little less geeky once he got married)
And most indie band members.

And here's an article to prove I'm not just making this up
http://www.pussycatmagazine.com/girl.../nerdlove.html

Good luck to you
vive le geek

[spop]

Maybe you could go for more indie chic than cool guy as it will be less of a leap. Some girls love nerdy awkward guys, although you don't want them to just want to mother you so maybe improving your confidence by working out a bit could give you the 'I'm sweet, nerdy and sexy' vibe.

If you go for a compromise you won't have to completely change- which would be no fun. I think maybe joining a soceity with girls in it will help you talk to them. Also girls love making people over (admit it we do!) so perhaps once you have some female friends they could help you out. Take a friend shopping with you and get them to help you pick clothes.

Don't worry about changing though - just about being happy. Get some new clothes by all means as there is nothing like feeling like you look good but don't throw away all the geekyness. Geeky usually = succesful so go with it and the women will be drawn to you (and admittidly your wallet, but nothing's perfect)

Nerdy can be cool if done right look at Rivers Cuomo from Weezer, Weezer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia,
Chris Martin form coldplay (admittidly looking a little less geeky once he got married)
And most indie band members.

And here's an article to prove I'm not just making this up
http://www.pussycatmagazine.com/girl.../nerdlove.html

Good luck to you
vive le geek

I do have female friends, but only friends. How should I go by asking for their help without looking like a sissy?

[GlindaofOz]

I do have female friends, but only friends. How should I go by asking for their help without looking like a sissy?

Just tell them - hey I want to change my look and I feel lost on how to do it can you help?

Any red blooded girl will JUMP at the chance to do a makeover.

Remember to not lose yourself. Change the outside not the inside. In high school girls go for the obvious guys but as we get old we appreciate a man who has a mind and who can talk on a myriad of subjects. Most of my girlfriends love a nerdy guy we all think its cute. Smarts are a bigger want of a woman, at least the ones I know.

[Emland]

I do have female friends, but only friends. How should I go by asking for their help without looking like a sissy?

Appeal to their vanity and tell them you value their opinion and think they have great style and would they help.

And like the previous poster said, any red-blooded American gal will jump at the chance to help you spend your money. Plus, you never know - you might get to know them better, too.

[Canada_Sweety]

They probably won't think you're a sissy but you could just say something like "I like your style and I see how great your fashion sense is. I want to kind of make myself over so could you help me... say go shopping?" or something to that effect.:D

[chris_in_orbit]

Some girls are into geek stuff - I wouldn't worry about that.

Clothes are easy. Get a couple of magazines for men and have a look - then find similar things in your budget range.

Voice can be worked on. There are even specialists out there if you need them. Try taking a speech class at a community college, first, perhaps.

The most troubling thing you stated is the part about being a momma's boy and unfit. That will not help you cultivate the image you want. Start by working out. When you start seeing results, your confidence should become stronger. With more confidence, you may not need momma's attention so much.

Start slow. Start with the clothes, that's the easiest then work you way along your list.

Hmm this is sort of true. For me I have a lot of nerdy tendencies. Since when I was a child those were the kids I hung around. By the time I got into high school however I knew how to groom myself and look presentable. Girls do like to see that someone who can dress nice still has a nerdy side. I'm not sure if they'd go for a badly dressed nerd with hygiene issues though...
Follow her advice and change the clothes and all others. Just don't change your personality. That's the only way you'll catch a girl that really appreciates you.

[rankrank55]

Honestly, you sound too cute to me! You don't need to change who you are one bit. Added a little more style and preparation to your wardrobe will help a bit but the key to getting women is showing that you have confidence and that you love yourself for who you are. You must learn to do that. You are you and that's okay; there will be a lady out there who likes you for you, don't worry. Buy some new clothes, get a haircut, eat right, exercise,buy some hot cologne, practice some self-loving activities, walk into rooms like you own them, and don't worry about what other people think. Be a sexy, confident nerd!

[alkalineangel]

Why try to fit a mold? You are who you are for a reason. First I think you should be comfortable in your own skin, and then find your own style not what others tell you is "cool". Make them understand who you are and they will respect you for that. Believe me, high school thinking is not everything, it will all change once you are out there in the really world. Be yourself.

[chris_in_orbit]

You say that, but he never said anything about becoming popular or fitting into the N crowd. He just wants more success with women. We all have traits that make us who we are: shyness, nerdyness, sadness. But whose to say those traits are who you have to be? If we ourselves choose to change something about ourselves then that is perfectly OK. Whether you choose to change or not is your choice whatever makes you the most comfortable. If he isn't 'comfortable in his skin' then don't discourage him from experimenting, if he doesn't he might miss a potential chance to find who he really is.

[alkalineangel]

My goal is to change these unpopular things, so I can be date material. I hope I gave you enough information about myself; if not feel free to ask me more. I need an extreme makeover!!! Is there anybody out there with help? :(

This is what made me think that the fitting in was a factor. Im just saying he needs to be comfortable in himself (not his physical image-Himself) before any makeover will help.

[Canada_Sweety]

He does need to be happy & comfortable with himself before a girl can. Not trying to discourage you, but you realllly should try looking for the better qualities you ahve and work off that, then try to improve yourself on the outside.:)

[margarita_momma]

Hi Sweetie,

Let me tell you one thing, nerds are hot!

Don't worry about what other people are saying about you and stop constantly downing yourself because you don't think you meet up to a certain standard. May I ask how old you are? Age plays a big factor in where you are to make a change in your life. If you are making the change for yourself because you aren't comfortable with who you are then it's a good thing to do. Changing who you are to impress your peers and to get a date... I know I have done it at one point or another and I bet almost everyone on this board has also. If you want to change the outer you to be more comfident, then go for it. But don't change who you are on the inside. I would find a guy telling me how the inside of a computer works to be extremely interesting and would make me think the guy I am talking to actually thinks about stuff other than sports, women, beer, and cars. Do like some of the others said and buy you a few pairs of nice jeans, not tight ones (don't want to look emo. Lol), a couple of polo shirts with a nice white undershirt, a belt and a nice pair of shoes. Maybe get a hair cut if you need one and ditch the glasses (if you wear them) for contacts. Good luck!